Have you ever been interested in the statistics of marriages in Russia? Prospects are drawn truly not bright. Every second family union ends in divorce. The reasons for this are endless, because all people are different. Some people can’t stand their husband’s alcoholism. Others are not satisfied with the distribution of responsibilities in the family. Still others are tired of carrying on their shoulders all the financial responsibility for their loved ones. Often there are marriages where a man beats his wife, raises his hand to children.
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Since childhood, we all dream of endless love. We paint a picture of an ideal relationship filled with mutual respect, trust and care. With age comes the understanding that such a development of events, if possible, is not forever.
Most people give up when they realize that a relationship involves a huge titanic work on the part of both partners. It is not uncommon for one of the participants in a romantic relationship to act as a toxic partner. We can look at a couple from our point of view and call their relationship sick. And at the same time they will be completely satisfied with the events happening to them.
The fact is that many women and men are not able to evaluate their family life rationally and objectively. When parents try to explain to their daughter that she shouldn’t work two jobs while her husband tries to paint. This most often causes negativity in their direction. If friends tell their mate that his woman is using him as a credit card, he is likely to show painful aggression.
It is difficult for each of us to admit our shortcomings, to open our eyes to problematic issues in a relationship. It is especially difficult if you love your chosen one very much. In this case, he is deified, equated to the face of saints. His name cannot be denigrated either by friends or close relatives. Perhaps Ivan will soon become a great musician, everyone around simply does not see his talent. And let this Ivan leave the music school after a month of classes. The main thing is that his wife believes in him, and at this time he is resting from the mortal everyday life.
Today I would like to outline the 10 most typical signs of a sick and toxic relationship. Perhaps you will find yourself in them, or your partner. Not all of these relationship traits are negative. There are a lot of people in the world who find difficulties in love a great pleasure.
There should be no competition between a man and a woman. If people are constantly racing, they will run the distance assigned to their love much faster than originally intended.
Some women strive to prove to their men that they are a complete unit in a relationship. That is, without the help of a husband, they can earn substantial amounts, as well as dispose of them at their own discretion.
This usually happens if the girl had an unsuccessful relationship behind her. She could be completely dependent on the former man in the material aspect. Or he daily criticized her mental abilities, moving on to the impossibility of female self-realization in the profession.
The problem is that a man rarely seeks to tie the knot with his boss. In his woman, he wants to see a kind and affectionate life partner, and not a rude, hysterical middle manager.
Women tend to bring into their home all the negativity received in the workplace. In the team, she does not want to appear as a mentally unstable person, as this can harm her career advancement, ruin relations with subordinates. But at home there is a devoted husband who still earns less than his wife. And here it begins. Instead of a pleasant evening together with a delicious dinner and watching a movie, you start the competition.
Even the most ridiculous arguments are used. You plunge into the abyss of exploits in domestic matters. Who is more likely to wash dishes? And who won last month in the nomination “Regularly take out the trash.” By and large, there is no difference who and what does more often. The distribution of responsibilities in the family is best built on the principle of “who has the time and opportunity.” Then there will be no competition. The main thing is that both partners treat this responsibly.
Harmonious relationships mean that both partners act positively on each other. From spending time together, you are filled with new emotions, strength and desire to create in all other areas of life are added.
Quite often the opposite situation occurs. Someone alone turns out to be a real energy vampire. What does it mean? The partner constantly expresses his dissatisfaction, tries to provoke a conflict, does not try to smooth things over or compromise.
Regular squabbles exhaust even the strongest personalities. When you come home to your loved one, you don’t want to sort things out at all. But the energy vampire only needs this from you.
He probably works less, earns little money, feels flawed somewhere else. To make up for the lack of emotions, to increase his own self-esteem, the vampire begins to bully the person who is least expecting an attack. Recharged with negative emotions, he or she goes to do his own business already in a good mood.
The victim is left alone. The state is lousy, you feel completely empty. The phrase “squeezed lemon” is now one hundred percent clear. There is neither the strength nor the desire to do something useful, even for a loved one.
Vampirism is always practiced by insecure people. Perhaps someone once offended them greatly, the boss made a fool of them in front of the whole team. A person does not have enough willpower and internal reserves to survive a problem situation on their own, to gain experience and benefit from it. It is for this reason that he arranges reprisals against his soulmate.
Cause of all troubles
If your partner is aggressive, run. When you hear accusations against you, analyze the adequacy of the claim. He blames you for all conceivable and unthinkable sins – do not give him the opportunity to inspire you with guilt.
Most often, a strong half of humanity suffers from such a toxic quality. It is quite difficult for them to admit even to themselves that the case ended in failure only through his fault.
Men who for a very long time cannot realize themselves in the profession blame their wife for this. Like, if it were not for you and our seven children, I would now perform at Eurovision instead of Sergey Lazarev. And so I had to go into plumbing to feed your hungry tribe.
If conversations can be ignored, then assault cannot be ignored. A man beats – do not even think about forgiveness. Domestic violence is like a drug. He tries, feels his own impunity and is drawn into the process.
Regardless of gender, realize a simple truth – there is no way you can become the culprit of a huge number of human failures. All this is empty chatter and senseless excuses for one’s own laziness, incompetence and irresponsibility.
Unsuitable on all fronts
This point of our conversation is a bit similar to the previous one. Only here we are talking about the fact that you are regularly presented with claims for various reasons. Everything can start with little things, like an open tube of toothpaste or things scattered around the room. It is quite possible to justify these discontents, to work on oneself, and not to commit them in later family life.
But not everything is so simple. Over time, the toxic partner begins to get to the bottom of the nonsense. She got old, lost weight, got fat, became stupid, and began to cook worse. The list of claims is endless.
If you suddenly fell for the actions of the manipulator and lost weight, for example, be prepared to lean on flour in a couple of months. The best that can happen is that he will ignore obvious changes in your figure. In the worst case, it will start to rewind the tape. He will say that before you were more curvaceous and sexy, and now some kind of board. Get fat, return the chest and ass – he will say: “Fat.”
Why are we starting a family? It is foolish to listen to those who talk only about material comfort, the birth of children and the ease of surviving in a couple. In fact, a person always strives to be understood and accepted with all his advantages and disadvantages.
If the wife only says about herself, her needs and desires, and she is not interested in knowing about the affairs of her husband from the word “absolutely” – a divorce is inevitable. We do not immediately notice when people stop being interested in our well-being and mood. At first, this all seems normal. We are all looking for an excuse for a loved one. Today she must have been tired at work. Tomorrow he is meeting with a friend, although I have the only day off in a month.
Day by day, we tolerate the self-centered narcissist. As time goes by, our mindset changes. How can you love a person who absolutely spits on you. He is no longer interested in dialogue. He knows less about our lives than colleagues in the office. The result is a painful rupture of no less painful relationships. It is very difficult to break off relations with a narcissist, because he was satisfied with a comfortable coexistence with a kind of servant and admirer.
Suppose you have total control. For all, the boundaries of freedom are located at different levels. Some are quite satisfied that the guy forbade meeting with girlfriends in nightclubs. Although you do not come there to get acquainted with pretty foreigners, but just to be distracted and dance to your heart’s content. Others are insanely infuriated if a husband sets limits on the height of heels, the length of skirts and necklines.
There are couples who are regularly in a state of hunting each other. They try to catch a partner in infidelity or at least a small lie. In the course are hacking social networks, selecting a pin code on a smartphone, watching the chosen one from behind roadside bushes.
The basis of a healthy relationship is unquestioning trust in your soulmate. Those couples who establish surveillance dictate their own rules and norms of behavior break up at the moment when one of the partners can no longer breathe in his cage.
A person needs personal space. Freedom of action should not be limited by prohibitions. People must control themselves. If a man beats his woman for too flashy makeup, this indicates his self-doubt and hidden complexes. It is impossible to force a person to be faithful and frank if aggressive methods are used. To fight lies with the help of prohibitions – to go with a knife into an annoying wind.
A toxic relationship cannot exist without jealousy. This feeling a person cultivates in himself. That is, its nature is purely psychological. We can put our nerves to a stop, completely trusting our loved one.
When a husband makes jealous scandals because you came home with a colleague who lives next door, this is already a difficult diagnosis. Seeing a catch in the most insignificant and harmless things is not the best quality for a loving person.
Can’t stop being jealous? Consult a specialist, because the reasons are hidden much deeper in you than it might seem at first glance. If this does not help, then you will have to disagree with the object of toxic love. It is possible that in this situation he deliberately acts as an invisible provocateur.
If you want to build a really strong and reliable relationship, then you should follow a lot of rules. The main one is to be self-sufficient, and do not try to artificially limit the freedom of your chosen one.
A person who wants to deceive or betray will do it even with your active resistance. Don’t set any boundaries. If they are not there, then pain from any actions will not fly to you.
Toxic relationship. Love addiction. Sick Relationships – What to do? | #PsychologyHappiness