10 signs you’re in a destructive relationship! A normal romantic connection helps people live; in it we feel safe and comfortable. In a destructive relationship, on the contrary, a person can be exhausted physically and psychologically. It seems that everything is about to get better and settled; However, life is in no hurry to get into its groove. And the couple has been riding the same roller coaster of stress and showdown for years.
It is believed that most of the manipulators and family tyrants are represented by men; however, there is a fairly large percentage of girls who are able to twist ropes from guys, depriving them of sleep, peace, and at the same time emptying their wallets.
How can you understand that you are stuck in a relationship with a manipulator, regardless of their gender? Today we will talk about the main signs of a destructive connection.
10 signs you’re in a destructive relationship!
1. You’re in a bad mood
Communication with such a person almost always occurs with a parallel withdrawal of energy from his interlocutor. The mood spoils. It seems as if he or she did not say anything bad; but my heart became lousy and disgusting.
In a healthy relationship, connection brings pleasure and a sense of peace and acceptance. Psychotherapist Dan Neuhart emphasizes that it is feelings that provide us with useful information about how healthy our relationship is. “The most important thing is how you feel around this partner. If you try to avoid certain topics in a conversation, because you are afraid to offend this person; if he criticizes you; constantly evaluates and compares with others – this should also alert.
2. You feel bad after talking
Sometimes you can physically feel worse: your head will hurt, fatigue will arise. A hysterical wife, an excessively jealous husband, or an alcoholic guy – relationships with such characters are exhausting. It seems that all the vitality is spent not on the implementation of projects that are significant for you, but on maintaining communication with this person.
3. Disparaging comments, sharp jokes
People who want to hurt another with words may resort to direct verbal attacks. However, they sometimes turn these statements into a joke – as if they didn’t say anything bad. In other words, first they insult you, and then they say that they were joking. A loving person will not talk bad about you or deliberately say unpleasant things. He will try to show care and love.
4. Partner lies all the time
Lying often becomes second nature to manipulators and tyrants of all sorts. Their main task is to maintain control over you. Even if the liar is caught cheating, he will still find a way to blame the victim or explain it in some ridiculous way.
5. He is in complete control of the relationship.
As the relationship develops, you feel that you can no longer just talk about your feelings freely and without fear. Your opinion is ignored completely or ridiculed. If you need to make some important decision, this happens on your own – the partner himself decides what actions and when will be taken.
6. Constant screams and scandals
Sometimes tyrants try to establish their power by shouting. This is one of the ways they seek to maintain control over you. As soon as the conflict reaches this point, the victim begins to experience fear of increasing aggressive behavior, tries to calm the tyrant.
Barry Davenport, author of the internationally popular book Signs of Emotional Abuse, explains: “For many victims of domestic tyranny, anxiety rises to the point that they choose to do nothing about the situation. They are very much afraid of the escalation of violence – and this is enough for them to bury their heads in the sand and pretend that everything is in order. However, in the depths of their souls, they understand that this is not so; and that it is high time to do something about this.”
7. The flow of criticism
For the manipulator and the tyrant, nothing the partner does is good enough. Note: many of the victims of verbal criticism were later beaten. Psychologists emphasize that in the expression of anger, how it happens is very important. On the one hand, it is permissible and useful to talk about your feelings; but on the other hand, one cannot take out anger on another – criticize him, belittle him, and so on. There is a very big difference between the phrases “I’m tired of all this kotovasia”, and “You constantly make a mess at home!”. The problem is the same, the way of expression is different.
8. Complete denial of being wrong
And if, finally, the patient-victim expresses her dissatisfaction with the behavior of the tyrant, then in any case he will justify himself or minimize all her accusations. He never admits that he is doing wrong or insulting. The conversation will stop, or its subject will abruptly change.
9. He is constantly trying to get his way.
In a destructive relationship, you will be forced to do what you don’t want to do; and you will feel guilty about it. Another technique often used by manipulators is gaslighting. Its essence is that the victim’s perception of reality is distorted. For example, a husband cheats on his wife, and she finds lace panties in his pocket. When his wife presents this argument to him, he says that she is simply crazy: “You yourself bought these panties last week! I went completely crazy, the old one.
This is what gaslighting looks like. And yes, most often this type of manipulation is used by men. It is almost impossible to resist him; The logical solution is to end the relationship.
10. You blame yourself for everything.
As the emotional abuse continues, the victim begins to blame himself for all mortal sins. She thinks that she is so bad that she is being treated like that. The partner can tell her that it was “you drove me.” Gradually, the victims themselves adopt this opinion of themselves, cease to value their own personality and become less sensitive to cruelty.
Do you recognize yourself in these descriptions? Contact a professional psychotherapist immediately for help. Relations with tyrants and manipulators are dangerous for the psyche, and often health. If you are a woman and are being abused in the home, run away from the relationship. Remember: life and health are the only supreme and irreplaceable values.
Destructive relationships. 10 signs your man is destroying you. 10 signs you’re in a destructive relationship!