15 Ways to Repair a Relationship Doomed to Break. Even the most loving and friendly partners quarrel – few relationships are completely without problems. To build a healthy connection, both partners need to give their all – especially if at least one of them has exhausted their credit of trust. We figure out how to get your relationship back on track and share 15 ways to do it.
What to do if you think each other is unreliable
After a breach of agreements, failure to fulfill promises, or even betrayal, one desire often appears: to leave, sending the partner to hell. This is a natural reaction to what is happening, but in some cases, it is not worth breaking the connection without understanding the situation. Here’s what both partners should do in this case.
Take responsibility for wrongdoing
A person who has undermined trust should admit that he hurt a loved one. Clinical psychologist Stone Kraushaar advises in such cases not to be defensive and not to make excuses. Instead, it’s better, to be honest about everything and offer a solution to the situation.
Give your partner a second chance
Relevant for those who have been deceived. Kraushaar notes that in such cases, people feel resentment and anger – this is normal. The main thing is that emotions do not interfere with working on relationships. Try to talk about the problem more often, but do not dwell on the past: this way you can heal faster.
If you fail to forgive your partner, remember that you have every right to do so. The main thing is not to leave if you have not fully understood the situation. This advice applies only to cases in which there was no place for manipulation and physical violence: in such circumstances, you need to cut ties without any explanation.
Practice Radical Transparency
Instead of holding back your emotions, be honest about whatever you feel as you think about the situation. Feel free to admit unpleasant facts and experiences – this way you will quickly return the relationship to normal. Talk about what prompted one of the partners to break the agreement, but at the same time try not to be judgmental.
Show concern instead of self-blame
When a person hurts his partner, he most often wants to punish himself. So the guilty one falls into a circle of shame and complete disappointment in himself, and this is unlikely to help restore relationships.
Instead, try to take care of each other as much as you can with your partner. At first, this will be difficult to do, especially if you are driven by anger, longing, despondency. Do not forget to speak out your feelings, but try not to drown in them completely.
What to do if you’re tired of long-distance relationships
It’s one thing if you don’t see each other for a couple of weeks. It is completely different when the bill goes on for months, or even years. During such periods, it is not uncommon for separated partners to often think that they are wasting time on something that does not deserve attention. Here’s how to deal with negative thoughts.
Don’t give false hopes
Discuss what is happening and set boundaries that you promise not to cross. Some agree to meet with others while they are apart, while considering a partner at a distance as paramount. Others do not allow themselves to speak with potential lovers and protect their privacy. All these are varieties of the norm, and only you can decide how your relationship will develop.
Try to name the approximate period of the relationship distance. There are couples who live like this for years, but more often people either move in together or break up.
Visit each other regularly
This is the key to a successful long-distance relationship. Feel free to turn meetings into a unique event: this is how you show that connection is important to you. If there is no opportunity to visit each other live, compensate for this with other pleasant surprises.
Make time for online dating
Do not forget to call on Zoom to watch a movie together, cook food without turning off the video chat; play your favorite computer game, or even take turns reading aloud.
Don’t focus on your partner
No matter how much you love each other, keep other areas of your life in mind so you can get through the separation. In addition, by staying on the same wavelength with friends from the outside, you will not get lost in the interests of a partner and will not become dependent on him.
How to get used to each other after the start of a life together
The first months after the move are filled with great stress: partners get used to the habits of another person; put up with the fact that their personal space has become smaller. We figure out what to do so that there is no desire to give up trying to live together.
Schedule weekly family gatherings
Meet in a relaxed atmosphere to discuss difficult topics that worry you: budget, sex, trust. By ignoring them, you run the risk of worsening the relationship or even destroying it completely.
Learn to respect personal space
Sometimes living together leads to codependence: partners are always under the same roof, and the boundaries are gradually and imperceptibly erased. To prevent this from happening – agree on a separate pastime. Perhaps your partner would like to be at home in solitude more often – for this you can stay in the gym longer. Or you don’t have enough meetings with girlfriends – explain to your companion that you need to spend time with someone other than him.
Be mindful of tactility
A common problem with people who come together is a lack of intimacy. Sometimes they do not understand why petting or hugging a partner, because this can be done at any time. Make it a rule to hold hands or, say, kiss when leaving for work. Tactile contact increases the level of oxytocin, which helps to resist stress.
It is difficult to return to hugs after a quarrel, when partners are sick of even looking at each other. In this case, try to sit in silence holding hands – this will show that you still care about the relationship, no matter what.
Don’t get involved in a romance
Not the most obvious advice, but it will help you perceive your partner as he is. Romance in long-term relationships often rests on old memories of the candy-bouquet period. The truth is that you and your partner are changing, which means that you should let go of the illusions of the past.
Instead, try to get to know each other better. You may have to radically change the idea of u200bu200byour connection – but you will remain on the same wavelength.
What to do if you do not feel the return from a partner
Sometimes a companion may not show love in the usual ways, advertising relationships or investing in household chores. He may not have time for close communication right now – find out about this by talking honestly with him.
Even after a detailed and long conversation about what is happening, sometimes there is a feeling that you have been deceived, but this does not mean that your relationship is doomed. We tell you how to look at communication from a different angle.
Pay attention to the positives
Spend a week noticing that your partner is doing the way you asked. This will help you understand that the guy is not as bad as you thought. The same applies to your companion.
Learn to be grateful for the little things
Whether we are in a long relationship or living together, we take care and kind gestures for granted. Instead, try thanking each other for all kinds of helpful things, whether it’s cooking dinner, cleaning the kitchen, or doing the laundry.
Forget about routine for a while
Relevant for workaholics. Relationship expert Sofia Chaikovskaya reminds us that a commitment to relationships is just as important as a focus on productive work.
Even a couple of hours spent with a partner can breathe life into a relationship. Cling to every opportunity to be together: go out for lunch while working at your favorite cafe, collect room boxes in the evenings instead of scrolling the feed on social networks, take a walk in the park on the way home. If you can’t give each other physical contact, consider how to take care of each other emotionally. 15 Ways to Repair a Relationship Doomed to Break.