17 tips on how to dump a guy when you meet? And make it as painless as possible for both parties. Step by step instructions and tips.
17 tips on how to dump a guy when you meet?
Pick a time
Experts advise planning an unpleasant conversation for the evening. And certainly you should not leave the guy on the eve of an important event (for you or for him). The day will be hopelessly ruined.
In addition, the morning is a very hectic time of day.
It is better to talk in a calm environment. In the end, you should pay tribute to this person and your relationship with him.
“Also, if necessary, you can call your friends and have a fun evening for yourself,” advises Marni Battista, founder of DatingWithDignity.com
Achieving progress in the form of numerous instant messengers and social networks is wonderful. But don’t be tempted to text your boyfriend. If you have something to say to each other, it’s best to do it in person.
This applies to “official” relations. If you met from time to time and occasionally corresponded, so be it – you can discuss the breakup online.
Choose the right place
A movie theatre, a noisy party, or someone’s birthday – so-so choice of location in order to leave a guy.
Especially if it’s a noisy birthday party for someone you’re planning on dumping.
Choose a quiet place where you can talk. Let it be a neutral territory where both of you will be comfortable.
Marnie recommends going for a walk: “You don’t have to look at each other, but you’re still there.”
Mention what you are grateful for this person. Tell me why you love him. List his strengths and say that the time spent with him was wonderful.
This most “but” must be present. If you flood him with compliments and twitter about how perfect your relationship is, he will have a question – why did you decide to leave me then?
Be honest with him. If you could not put up with any of the guy’s shortcomings, tell him about it. This will help him avoid repeating mistakes in the following relationship.
If you are not satisfied with the format of your relationship, or if you just want to focus on yourself, say so directly.
listen to him
You don’t have to tolerate bullying or harassment. But to listen to his opinion and look at the situation from his side is still worth it.
It’s always good to look at a problem from a different angle.
It is possible that your relationship is not as hopeless as you think.
An important point: do not fall for manipulation. If you are clearly aware that you are not on your way with this person, the relationship makes you unhappy, and the guy is not going to change, leave.
You have accumulated grievances and claims to each other. But from the fact that you will yell and wave your arms, it will not be easier for anyone. You will scare away all the pigeons in the area, and a constructive dialogue will not work.
Do not fall for his provocations and remain calm.
Who is to blame and what to do?
Do not blame him for all sins. Do you remember that the dialogue should be constructive?
Don’t let him shift the responsibility for your relationship onto you.
Does it evoke pity and guilt?
Say you’re not going to be manipulated. Either he calmly talks to you, or you pour coffee on him and hail a taxi.
Don’t force your friendship on him
“Let’s be friends?”
Why don’t we stay?
If you manage to maintain friendly relations, consider that Heaven has blessed you.
But – and this is important! – you are not obliged to create friendship on the ashes of love. If the breakup of a relationship is painful for you, it is better to stop communicating.
Don’t give him hope
You are breaking up. Dot. There have been many good things in the past. But it’s time to move forward. You wish him all the best, but with another girl.
If you let him cherish vain hopes of a reunion, do not be surprised that he will attack you with calls and messages, guard at the house and make scandals.
Let him forget you
This point follows smoothly from the previous one. Do not write, do not call him and do not provoke. Do not impose your company on him, do not ask mutual friends about him.
He needs time to forget you.
Don’t let him do it.
Let him go
There is a great risk that pride will begin to play in you.
“So sorry for him, how will he be without me, he loved me so much!”
He will be fine without you.
It will suffer, of course, and then recover.
Again, if you let him do it.
If when you see him with another you feel jealousy, anger and resentment, then you really never let him go.
set him free
Take your things. It is not necessary to return gifts. Everything that you may need in a new life, return to each other. Tear the rest, burn it and send it to the trash.
Or give it to those who need it more. For example, toys or things can be donated to charity.
Stop following each other
Don’t ask mutual friends about him. His life no longer concerns you.
Don’t talk about your personal life either. One way or another, he will know that you are no longer alone. Don’t spread rumors.
You have every right to post photos with a new guy on Instagram. You have the right to enjoy life and be happy. But are you sure you are not driven by the intention to show off in front of your ex?
If you find it difficult to answer, block it on social networks.
Don’t discuss it
Especially in a negative way. Especially with his friends.
First, it will all come to him. Secondly, in the eyes of his friends, you will not look very worthy.
Most likely, they will take his side.
If you need support, seek the help of an outside observer.
Ideally, see a psychologist.
All of us, sooner or later, needless thoughts begin to crawl into our heads. The most dangerous of them relate to reunion with the former. Do not discuss your thoughts with your mutual friends. In no case. What you said “in secret” will definitely reach his ears, be sure. And an orgy will begin, which neither you nor he needs.