7 Signs of Emotional Abuse and How to Recognize Them

7 Signs of Emotional Abuse and How to Recognize Them. In unhealthy relationships, we feel bad mentally and physically. Often we have depression, confusion, depression, dissatisfaction with ourselves, and fear. These are the emotions experienced by the victim of emotional abuse. Unfortunately, often she does not understand the gravity of the situation and stays with her offender for quite a long time.

From this article, you will learn 7 signs of emotional abuse in a relationship.

1. Gaslighting

In a relationship with emotional abuse, gaslighting is one of the most common behavioral tactics. It is expressed in the fact that the victim is constantly forced to doubt himself, his words, and deeds.

Gaslighters may argue that the acts and situations that the victim remembers simply did not exist. As well as the words or promises they have spoken. This is done in order to gain and maintain control over the victim, who becomes helpless, confused and overwhelmed enough to resist.

Here are some examples of phrases that gaslighters often say:

  • “You’re going crazy if you think that way” – such words help to make the victim doubt himself and trust the words of the offender.
  • You “inflate an elephant out of a fly” – a phrase with which the emotions, feelings, and opinions of the victim are devalued.
  • “I never said that” is another way to make the victim doubt himself, and also to avoid responsibility for words and actions.

You can read more about what to do if you experience gaslighting here.

2. Isolation from others

A person prone to emotional violence will do everything in his power to protect his victim from close communication with people. This happens because of the desire for control and the fear that others will notice something was wrong and will begin to actively “save” the victim of an unhealthy relationship. It is also a way to convince a partner that only a rapist will take care of him and worry about him.

There are several signs that your partner is trying to isolate you from others:

  • he often discourages you from seeing friends or family;
  • it restricts your movement by holding money or a car;
  • he gets angry or makes you feel guilty if you met someone you know;
  • he insists on always being there for you if you see someone.

When we are isolated from others, we have no way to get support and protection from them. Control on the part of the abuser increases, as does dependence on him. The longer a relationship lasts, the harder it is to get out of it.

3. Use of offensive words

To undermine the victim’s self-esteem, the offender may use offensive and rude language against her. But often such words and phrases are presented as a “desire to help” or to tell the truth, which, according to the rapist, is silent about.

For example, he may say that no one will love you except him. Or that it’s time for you to lose weight and change your hair color. Or that you shouldn’t sign up for a manicure class because you’re not smart enough to figure it out. And in general, you really can’t do anything.

Such statements, when heard constantly, can undermine your self-confidence and deprive you of self-esteem. Unfortunately, many victims remain in emotionally unhealthy relationships because they fail to understand that such abuse has nothing to do with the real state of affairs.

4. Scream

One of the most revealing facts of emotional abuse is screaming. Often, unhealthy relationships begin with him. If a loved one often yells at you, especially for no reason or for a reason that is not worth it, we can say that things are clearly not all right in your relationship.

Yelling is another tactic designed to increase control between the victim and their abuser. The victim often feels “lower” and weaker than the one whose voice is louder. In addition, she can agree to any conditions offered by the offender only because the scream really frightens her. This fear is used by the rapist to get what he wants from the victim.

5. Blame shifting

To avoid responsibility, people who are prone to emotional abuse always find ways to blame their victim for the wrong words and actions. They can convince you that some events occur solely through your fault and that the successful outcome of the current situation depends only on you.

To stop the abusive partner, the victim tries to change, seeks to please. This is a kind of “trap” – the more the victim does, the more the offender needs from her. For example, he fulfills all his whims regarding his own appearance, behavior, communication with others, way of life, which gradually destroys it day by day.

6. Jealousy

Jealousy can have a good reason, or it can appear without a reason. It’s all about how we respond to angry feelings: whether we understand them or simply want to have more control over our partner.

In an emotionally abusive relationship, the desire to control a partner is fueled by the abuser’s jealousy. It appears because of a feeling of insecurity, complexes, fears. To cope with their own emotional state, abusers influence the feelings and actions of their victims. Very often they accuse partners of lies and betrayals, which in fact do not exist.

Also, offenders control the appearance and clothes of their victims, read correspondence, call excessively when their victims are not around.

7. Outbursts of unpredictable anger

To intimidate their victim, offenders may show anger in situations where there is no good reason for it. It usually happens suddenly, is discouraging, and makes their partners feel confused and overwhelmed.

Anger manifesting itself in the form of screaming, aggression, throwing objects, pounding the surface with fists is a red flag. The offender may break objects that are dear to his victim. All of these actions signal a potential threat or danger that may be lurking in the relationship.

How to understand that the anger of a partner becomes emotional violence towards you:

  • you live with a sense of heightened vigilance;
  • you are afraid to make even small mistakes that your partner might find out about;
  • you are extremely careful in what you say to your partner;
  • you behave the way your partner likes, so as not to provoke his irritation or anger.

By the way, you can read more about the signs that your partner has anger problems in this article.

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