Today I want to give you the best tips on how to overcome your fear of the first time or 7 tips against fear of the first time at 30 (for men & women).
Even if you are no longer in your teenage years, everyone is likely to have some worries before they embark on the First Time adventure themselves. It doesn’t matter whether you are a woman or a man.
So let’s get started.
How can you overcome your fears about your first time at the age of 30?
Regardless of whether you are a woman or a man, the first time is a big and very sensitive topic. Age probably plays a secondary role at that moment, because every so-called “virgin” feels the fears and worries within himself.
In order to let go of these uncertainties, it is very important that you feel ready for this step: Learn to trust your counterpart, let go of your fear of failure, concentrate on yourself and communicate your needs openly and confidently.
Is that all? No!
The first-time topic is associated with a lot of feelings and emotions. Not only do people have to open up completely during the act, flaunt their bodies, and show themselves completely naked – no, there are also other uncertainties.
“Can I manage to satisfy my counterpart?” Will probably be one of the central questions that everyone will ask themselves before their first sɘxual intercourse.
Thousands of questions are buzzing around in your head. Perhaps you are also plagued by the question of why this has never happened before. This carousel of thought doesn’t necessarily make it any easier for 30-year-old Virgos to get in the mood for this one moment.
So that you can break out of this emotional chaos and the question of whether it is the right time and you can finally open up to your partner, we clarify the following questions today:
- What are the greatest fears of a woman/man over 30 years old for the first time?
- 7 helpful tips to overcome your fears!
- What are the most important things to look out for?
What are the biggest fears of an over 30-year-old woman/man before the first time and 7 tips to overcome them!
Certain worries and insecurities apply to both genders, and yet I would like to show you some examples that only apply to men or women.
1. I’m afraid of failure – especially with men
This fear is in many of us – not only in men, of course, but also in women. I assume that this fear may even increase with age. It may be that you expect a lot from yourself and you don’t want to fail under any circumstances.
You may also be haunted by uncomfortable feelings and insecurities about why you have never experienced your first time and the pressure is increasing.
You are facing a woman / a man who is probably already very experienced and has had many sɘxual adventures and, as a complete newcomer, you definitely want to prove that you can do it.
Men tend to focus on their erection in these moments and fear that they will not last or come too early.
Tip how you can let go of this fear:
You’re fine the way you are. It doesn’t matter whether you had your first time when you were 15, 20, or 32 years old. Sure, you’re inexperienced, but that’s perfectly fine.
There is a primal fear in every human being that they are not good enough and that they will not perform as expected.
In those moments when you are faced with fear, take a deep breath and focus on yourself.
If you are a man and you are afraid that your erection will not last or you are about to c*m while penetrating, try to break away from the fear.
This does not mean that you keep telling yourself not to be afraid, but that you focus on other thoughts. This is how Mrs. Doctor Beatrice Wagner, a successful couple and sɘx therapist from Munich, explains it.
Concentrate on your surroundings and perceive everything exactly, caress your partner and kiss him passionately.
Now you’ve managed to move away from fear and focus your mind on other things.
When men focus on fear, it comes first in the brain. For instinctive reasons, the erection then subsides because the body is designed to flee or something similar.
In short: if you are afraid there is no erection!
2. Release the pressure to perform
Our society appeals in every respect to pressure to perform. It’s no different when it comes to sɘx.
According to current articles , it is more and more common that many people do not have their first time until they are over 30 years old.
Even if society is becoming more and more sɘxualized through p0rn and amusing dirty magazines, there are many people who decide against an early first time.
The problem in the sɘxualized society is that a Virgo always sees the perfect sɘx adventure on her screen and believes that she has to act that way.
Tips against the pressure to perform:
Do not compare yourself to others. Always keep in mind that these games that you see on your display are staged. These are not natural situations.
It is also not absolutely necessary for a man to have an erection last over 30 minutes. A woman doesn’t have to do anything that she doesn’t feel like either.
It’s not about recreating a scene from the Internet as realistically as possible, but rather doing what feels right for both partners at that moment. Without ifs and buts – and without external pressure.
You don’t have to act like an actor whose job it is to perform perfectly or to have as many org@sms as possible in a row.
Women, you don’t have to come back five times and female ejacul@tion doesn’t have to be your goal either. Focus on yourself and enjoy the moment.
Detach yourself from these scenes that you have seen sometime and somewhere and always keep in mind that this does not have to be your reality – only if you want to make it yours. You decide this!
3. Women are afraid of bleeding
When women’s virgin skin tears, it can cause them to bleed.
Even though there isn’t much you can do about it now as a woman – since it is a normal reaction of your body – it is important that you are aware of it.
If the virgin membrane tears, there may be a slight pull and it may start to bleed easily. If you are clear about this, then you can handle it better.
Tips for the fear of bleeding:
If you feel uncomfortable in front of your partner, speak to them openly and tell them you may be bleeding. But I am assuming that even if your partner is of a certain age, he can absolutely understand and this will not lead to any problem.
4. Fear of physical rejection
While this point is not about the sɘxual act itself, I still think it’s an important issue.
Every person has places on his body that he rejects, that he cannot accept, and this results in a certain discomfort towards his own body.
This uncertainty leads to a fear that the other person might not find you attractive. Your thoughts constantly revolve around the question of whether he likes you visually, whether he wants to kiss you or whether he thinks you are hot.
Many women worry about whether their breasts are too small or their thighs too fat. Men, on the other hand, tend to reduce the length of their pen!s.
Tips on how to let go of this fear of physical rejection:
Try to accept your body as it is. Learn to listen to your body and your signals, develop a good body feeling and accept your body as the home of your soul. It is important that you are at peace with your body.
It’s not about loving everything about yourself 100%. The goal is to accept and appreciate you for who you are. With all your flaws.
When you’ve managed to develop a good relationship with your body, you can be much more open to potential partners. Your worries about whether your bum is too small or your arms not muscular enough will subside and you will be self-confident and self-assured.
This is attractive to your sɘxual partner. There can also be a little uncomfortable shame before the covers fall for the first time.
It’s about revealing and showing your insecurity, not to be an indicator of your non-existent sɘxual behavior.
In this context, of course, I can recommend a conscious and healthy diet and plenty of exercises. Yoga also influences one’s own body awareness in a special way.
5. Fear of pregnancy/illness – How do I find the right contraception?
Even if adults have mostly already dealt with the topic, I would still like to address it.
Women and men over 30 years of age are already more involved in life and a child would then probably be less drastic than in their teenage years, but it is still important to take care of it as an adult.
I would like to give you some tips:
Appropriate contraception is essential during sɘxual intercourse. Not only can this prevent pregnancy, but also the transmission of sɘxual diseases.
Clearly, the likelihood is very low if both partners have never had a sɘxual experience with other people. Even so, it is important to protect your body. If either of the two has already had sɘxual intercourse, then it is all the more important.
Nowadays there are enough ways to prevent well-being. Including the world-famous and very popular condom, which not only protects against sɘxually transmitted diseases, but also against pregnancy.
Otherwise, women also have various hormone preparations such as the pill or Nuvaring available.
It is best to talk to a trusted gynecologist beforehand and find the perfect solution for yourself.
6. Fear of not doing justice to society – Are you really ready?
Seems like a banal question at first. Your answer will likely be: I finally want sɘx. Now. Right away.
But I would like to stop there for a moment. Do you really want sɘx or is it just some pressure that society is putting on you? Do you perhaps feel a fear that otherwise you will no longer belong and you will no longer be able to have a say?
Tips to find out what you really want:
Nowadays it can often be very difficult to really find out what you want yourself or what you do only for the sake of society. Especially when it comes to sɘx.
You are confronted with it everywhere and the older you get, the greater the pressure to finally get it over with.
It can happen that you forget or can no longer really feel what you actually want. Therefore, I would like to invite you to really go inside yourself and feel why you have not had sɘx yet and whether now is really the right time.
Listen inside and ask if it feels right. Whether the potential partner you have laughed at is really the right one and whether now is the right time. Because it’s not about just letting this moment pass you quickly, but about preserving it for what it is.
7. Fear something will go wrong
You feel ready and want to finally experience this unique moment. After all these years, you are finally ready to share the intimate moment with your partner and yet you are plagued by some fears:
What should I do? What is expected of me? Can i let myself go
For all of these worries, I would like to give you a few tips:
This holy moment should become one of the most beautiful in your life – at least that’s what many would like. Anyone who’s had sɘx knows that the first time is the first time. And the first time is such that many better times follow.
With this, I want to take away your fear. The first time doesn’t have to be the best moment. It’s not about making everything perfect. That brings us back to the subject of pressure to perform and failure.
The point is that both partners are ready to share this moment and go on a journey together. To open up and show yourself naked. The way you are – without a doubt.
So that you can let yourself go, you need a certain amount of trust. I think sɘx often becomes a special experience when both know and trust each other well. Thanks to this basis, open discussions can be held and everyone can share what they like or don’t like.
Learn to open up to your partner, tell him about your wishes, fears, worries, and problems – so you can respond to each other, let yourself go, and experience wonderful times.
How do I manage to speak openly with my partner?
Communication is the most important tool to ignite and maintain relationships.
It’s no different with sɘx. Anyone who has experienced it for the first time knows how important it is to communicate, explain your fears and explain what you want or dislike.
In many relationships, it is normal for both to speak openly and to have good communication, but especially when it comes to controversial issues, many find it difficult to open up. Even the first time is a topic where you show yourself naked, open yourself up and thereby make yourself vulnerable.
As a result, it often happens that people withdraw into themselves and no longer communicate or reveal very little about themselves.
In order to have a nice first time, however, it is of immense importance to open up and trust your partner.
After such conversations, you will soon notice whether the person by your side is the right one, with whom you would like to share your first time and such intimate things.
How should men behave the first time?
It is important for men to act confidently, that is, they should know what they want and not show women their insecurities.
It is important not to constantly disturb the act with unsure questions such as “Am I doing this well?” Etc. It is enough if you get involved with the woman and you can already see a lot from the woman’s posture. I trust you!
Which position is the best for the first time?
Depending on the preferences of the two partners, the missionary position is very suitable for the first time. The man is on top and the woman is on the bottom. It’s simple and straightforward.
What do you do when something embarrassing happens?
At first, it is uncomfortable when something doesn’t work out or goes differently as planned. So when you can look at your partner, talk about it, and just laugh about it, it is very important. That makes the relationship special and, above all, very familiar.
In summary, we can say that a lot of fears are associated with the subject for the first time at the age of 30. Regardless of whether you are male or female, everyone has to struggle with their own problems.
One of the most important tools to have a great first time and alleviate your own fears is open communication. It should be the alpha and omega. This is the only way you can learn to trust your partner and let yourself go.
Have you done it for the first time yet? How old were you the first time? Were you excited before your first time?