A friend is dating a guy I like, and it’s mutual – how to be? No matter how rational people are, few people can control their feelings. Therefore, falling in love with a friend’s boyfriend is a common occurrence. Since you have friendly relations, you communicate a lot, he is constantly in sight. Feelings arise. How to understand what is their cause? Is it possible to deal with them? How to proceed in such a case?
Why do you like your friend’s boyfriend?
It is important to understand whether this is really love. The fact is that you can experience strong emotions that actually have other reasons. Of course, each case is unique, and serious work of introspection is needed to understand those Causes that concern you personally.
It’s not always simple, but very useful and will affect not only the one you’re facing now, but your whole life. Only you can sort out your feelings, but there are several reasons that lead to this situation:
- guy, as an idealized image;
- features of the relationship with a friend;
- fear of a serious relationship.
Guy like an idealized image
It is important to acknowledge that you do not know for sure what kind of person he is. So storage on the day is ideal, it is on it, it is on the street. When you are so close, it seems that you know everything. No on samom dele podruga ne wissegda talks about the problems, shortcomings of a man, about domestic quarrels and harmful previous problems.
She likes to show how wonderful her boyfriend is. She says something, something your subconscious “thinks out” by itself. Due to the lack of information, the psyche endows the other person with qualities that he may not have.
Features of the relationship with a friend
If a Girlfriend is an emotional leader, Her opinion is important to you. You admire her way of life – she is your role model. Falling in love with her boyfriend may be the result of the fact that you a priori consider her choice to be the best. You are infected by her emotions towards him, but in fact, these are not your emotions.
Fear of a serious relationship
If you notice that you often fall in love with men with whom you cannot have a relationship, it is a subconscious flow to avoid them. This happens when a person wants a relationship, but is afraid of them. Therefore, it finds an unreachable object. In this case, it is important to understand why you have this fear.
What to do if you like your friend’s boyfriend?
First, try to understand the true reason for your feelings. Are they really related to love? Look at the guy more critically, like a person you see for the first time. What are its positive qualities and what are its negative ones? Focus on the second, make a detailed list.
If you can’t find a single flaw, then question your perception – There’s a good chance you’re idealizing this person. In reality, everyone has flaws, this is normal. Ideal people do not exist in principle.
I like my friend’s boyfriend. What to do?
In that case, think about why it is so important for you to see an ideal in him? And why exactly in it? Maybe because the object of your love is not available? There can be no relationship with him, which means there can be no disappointment.
If you don’t do that, you can do it:
- avoid communication with him – try to spend as little time as possible in the company where he is, evade from meeting him;
- do not follow him on social networks – this will only increase your love, but at the same time bring a lot of mental suffering;
- do not meet with him alone – this is a rule that must be strictly observed. Even if you do occasionally clash, avoid offers of coffee or walk you home;
- do not flirt – this can be quite difficult, because often flirting occurs unconsciously;
- Be yourself – do not try to seem Smarter, more fun and feminine, dress as if you are going to a meeting with a friend, and not with a man;
- try not to give your friend advice about their relationship – subconsciously you can try to spoil them, although you yourself will not notice it, and then you will experience a feeling of guilt and shame;
- try to strengthen your friendship – spend more time with her, share experiences, come to the rescue.
Think about the value of friendship for you, After all, these are relationships that have already developed and have proven their strength and sincerity. Whether you will have the same relationship with this guy is another big question. As a rule, the more you are unrequitedly in love, the more you idealize him. In such a situation, when a person gets what he wants, reality only causes disappointment. This is because your expectations often do not match reality.
Remember that you can not “take” a man out of a relationship if he does not want it. By taking any action, you will only lose friendship, but whether you gain love is a big one. Even if a man succumbed to your various manipulations, but he did not have deep feelings, such a relationship of smoldering smoldering
You will begin to experience constant guilt that is difficult to deal with. It negatively affects both mental balance and physical well-being.
Instead of focusing all your attention on your friend’s boyfriend, think about yourself and your life. Why do you feel like there are no other men around? Meet new interesting people more, communicate with other friends and relatives.
Go in for sports and self-development. After that, the ambiance of the cell and the energy on the end of the day. Try to diversify your life, find new hobbies. All this will help you distract from your unrequited love and fill your life with positive emotions.
What if it’s mutual?
The question arises, what to do if he likes you too? This can make you feel joy, because it’s nice to experience mutual feelings. No, it’s still a moment, and it’s up to you.
Are you familiar with it? Or did sympathy arise when you began to realize that he liked you? In this case, it is likely that you are simply “mirroring” his attitude. The human psyche is so arranged that it reduces the degree of criticality towards those who like us.
Is that what you are saying, is that what you want? A man who is confident in his feelings must make his own choice. Not to say that the Romans are in the spine and podrugi. If he does not love your girlfriend, confess this to her and leave, so that she does not have illusions and does not spend money on her.
After their breakup, you should not immediately start dating. Respect the experiences your friend has experienced. Give her time. Then you can confess your feelings, but be prepared for the fact that you will lose a friend.
In such a situation, only you can make the right decision, sort out your feelings, their two ilhstins. Pony, it’s just two years old and it’s possible.