Afraid of a date because of obesity? 11 tips that are guaranteed to help!

Afraid of a date because of obesity? 11 tips that are guaranteed to help!
Afraid of a date because of obesity? 11 tips that are guaranteed to help!

Today we give you 11 tips that are guaranteed to help you overcome your fear of going on a date because of obesity.

Since I didn’t feel comfortable in my body for a long time and therefore know the fear of a date, I can tell you very precisely what you can do about it.

In addition, I have dealt with the scientific findings about what constitutes attractiveness and how important the appearance is in data.

Let’s start with the most important question: 

Fear of dating because of obesity: what can I do about it? 

On a date, regardless of how you look, the most important thing is that you are confident and have a positive attitude. A surprising but true fact is that the most attractive quality about a person is that they find themselves attractive.

Amazing, isn’t it? 

So if you’re overweight, that’s not the aspect that could make you unattractive. Rather, it is the fact that you find yourself too fat that ultimately makes you unattractive. 

How important is the appearance on a date? 

Of course, appearance is important on a date, especially if it’s the first time you meet. The outside is what the other person sees first. Thus, of course, appearance plays a central role, because the inner values ​​(which are of course more important) are not noticed until later. 

The appearance is not limited to your figure, which of course you cannot change from now on. You can do a lot in other areas for this! By the way, you do this for yourself: 

Even if it sounds strange: For your date to be a complete success, it is much more important that YOU are convinced of your appearance – and not the other. 

Why is charisma more important than appearance? 

That a positive charisma is more important than a perfect body is not just a statement made to cheer you up, but scientifically proven! 

Regardless of whether it is about the opposite sex or about sympathy in general: People who have a positive charisma, are happy, and are interested in other people appear much more sympathetic than those who are negative, who do not feel comfortable in their body and who grumbling about their life all day. 

If you do not feel comfortable in your body and are afraid of the date because of being overweight, you will be more concerned with yourself on the date than with your counterpart. And that is a deterrent.

In order to score points on the date and not be afraid, you should above all be self-confident!

So far so good – and how is that supposed to work? 

Fear of dating because of obesity – These tips will help you 

1. Wear your absolute favorite outfit 

The first tip is that you should wear your very favorite outfit for the date. This means exactly the outfit in which you feel beautiful AND comfortable.

So the outfit should:

  • be trendy
  • fit your figure
  • sit optimally

Nothing is worse than not being able to concentrate on the conversation because you have to constantly tug on your clothes.

It is best to choose your outfit a few days in advance so that you can make the optimal selection in peace. 

2. Make yourself the best version of yourself 

When it comes to styling, you should also take enough time and make the best version of yourself. As mentioned earlier, looks include a lot more than just your figure. Someone who may have a great figure, but looks completely unstyled and unkempt, will not score much on a date. 

So take enough time and get the best out of yourself. 

3. Make the intention to get to know your counterpart – and not the other way around 

In addition, you should have the right intention before the date. Do not try to please the other person. Instead, turn the tables and approach with the intention that YOU will now get to know someone.

Assume that the other person is allowed to “prove” himself to you and not the other way around. With this intention, you can approach the date in a much more relaxed manner. 

Assume that the other person is allowed to “prove” himself to you and not the other way around. With this intention, you can approach the date in a much more relaxed manner. 

4. Try to focus on your date 

The fourth tip can be derived from the third tip but relates to the date itself. Try to concentrate on the other person and not on yourself. Ask a lot of questions – in-depth questions, if you like – and let your date talk about you. So you can listen in a relaxed way and get to know the other person. 

Of course, you should also tell something about yourself. But try to stay positive here too and never focus the conversation on the subject of obesity. Instead, choose nice and interesting topics to talk about. 

5. Be yourself and don’t pretend 

It is also important that you don’t pretend, but simply be yourself. That goes down best. In addition, it is hardly possible to adjust yourself permanently. In addition, the date is about getting to know each other, and that only works if you don’t pretend.

Also, keep in mind that there is little point in pretending something to the other person. After all, you want to know if he or she likes you and not the person you are portraying. 

6. Realize that you have nothing to lose 

Make yourself aware, but also during the date, that you have nothing to lose. When you go out on a date, you probably have the intention to get to know someone, which then may result in more.

For example, if the person is very superficial, then if you do not find your looks optimal, you have the answer to what kind of character they are right away.

Many people who are objectively “beautiful” are not infrequently exploited and then abandoned again afterwards. 

If you are rather slim, you don’t need to worry that someone just wants to meet you because of your model dimensions. Even if this tip may seem a little less relevant, it is still the case that it really gives you an advantage.

Models can tell a song about how hard it can be to be reduced to the outside. 

7. Remember that the other is just as excited as you are 

You should also make yourself aware that the other person is very likely to be just as excited as you are. Nervousness and a little fear of the date are quite normal – regardless of whether you are overweight or not! 

If you like, you can even make the subject of nervousness a conversation and ask if he or she is as excited as you are. This often loosens the atmosphere. 

8. Choose a place where you feel comfortable 

If you have the opportunity, choose the location of the date yourself. We highly recommend a place where you may have already been and where you feel comfortable.

You don’t always have to go out to eat on your first date. Just think of an activity that you enjoy doing and all of it in a place where you feel safe.

9. Reduce your expectations 

Those who expect a lot can also be deeply disappointed. This sentence can be related to many situations in life, but it plays a particularly important role on a date.

Whether you both get on well and whether the other person has a problem with your excess weight will not determine whether you are happy or unhappy for the rest of your life. Therefore, reduce your expectations – both for your counterpart and for yourself. 

10. Charge yourself with positive energy before the date 

To have a positive charisma as possible and not let yourself be dragged down before the date due to your excess weight, you can charge yourself positively before the date.

Just listen to your favorite music or do something you enjoy so that you come to the date in a good mood. 

11. Take it easy – it’s just a date

The final tip is to just see the date as it is: it’s just a date. You should also see being overweight for what it is: being overweight – no more and no less.

In addition, your weight will certainly not determine the outcome of your date. Everyone has countless dates in their life and not all of them go well – so take it easy. 

Similar questions

Should I cancel the date because of my fear?

No way! If you don’t face your fear now, when will you? Realize that it’s just one date and that there are many more to come. Gather experience and learn from it. Believe me, the outside is not everything!

How do I get more self-confidence?

You don’t get self-confidence overnight. But you can do a lot to make you feel more confident quickly! Wear clothes that are flattering and comfortable for you.

Take care of yourself and your health and always be well looked after. And very important: Get out of your comfort zone and dare to do something, you will be amazed at the effects!


In summary, we can say that many aspects are much more important on the first date than being overweight. Furthermore, everyone is afraid of date – no matter what figure they have! 

So don’t drive yourself crazy if you are overweight and looking for a partner. Show yourself from your best side and make yourself the best version of yourself. The most important thing is that you are convinced of yourself – because this is the only way to convince your counterpart. 

And if not – it doesn’t matter. If it doesn’t work out on one date, look forward to the next. After all, the dating phase is one of the most exciting times in life – take it easy and enjoy your experience. 

Do you also suffer from extremely great fear of a date because of obesity? And if so, what is the best thing to do to help you overcome this fear?

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