Are Men Nervous on a First Date? We’ll tell you!

Are Men Nervous on a First Date? We'll tell you!
Are Men Nervous on a First Date? We’ll tell you!

Today we’re going to get to the bottom of the question of whether men are nervous or even excited on the first date.

Since I’m a man myself, I can pretty much tell you how we feel on a first date, what we think, and – of course – whether we’re nervous or not.

So let’s get started right away:

Are men nervous on the first date?

Yes, men – just like women – are always nervous and a little tense on the first date. Ultimately, the male species is not that different and “different” from the female species.

Depending on the type of man, the nervousness can take on even greater proportions, such as real excitement, fear, and the urge “I have to cancel the date out of panic”.

Admittedly, the latter is rather rare and only the case with very shy men or when the man is particularly serious about the woman.

But of course, on the other hand, some types approach the first date more relaxed and exude certain aplomb. The latter in particular is usually valued by many women, as they then feel safe and secure.

It is important that sovereignty is not to be equated with arrogance. 🙂

So that your first date is a complete success, let’s take another look together

  • What are men’s biggest fears on a first date
  • What they want on the first date, what they want
  • Which topics of conversation are suitable
  • And how you can say goodbye after the first date.

The 3 biggest “man’s fears” on the first date

By far the greatest fear in men is:

1. I mustn’t make a mistake!

It is especially the men who feel under a lot of pressure on the first date. As an alpha animal, you don’t want to fail and do everything right and just perfect.

The majority of men even assume that women are significantly more critical in assessing men than they are themselves.

For example, men think that even a hairstyle that is not perfectly fitting could result in a negative outcome at the meeting.

I think this example shows very nicely how sensitive the world of men usually is, right?

The second biggest fear is:

2. Is she seriously interested?

On the one hand, the man is happy about the expressed interest that the woman has agreed to the date. On the other hand, however, the man is not sure whether the woman wants something from him.

Questions like: Does she take me seriously as a man? Is she really interested or am I just a good person to talk to? usually circle through the man’s head.

And last but not least:

3. Can I entertain the woman sufficiently?

Neither woman nor man wants embarrassing silence, because that only shows the other person that you are insecure, excited, and shy. And if we remember point # 1 (I mustn’t make mistakes), that’s exactly what the man doesn’t want.

The best way to avoid awkward silences is to ask questions and thus keep the conversation going.

A few suggestions for questions that always work can be found below:

10 topics of conversation that always work on the first date

1. Ask about the path of your date
“Did you find your way here?” Or “Did you also have such problems with the navigation?”

2. Admit with a smile that you are excited Being
direct in this situation always goes down well. So you can break the ice in the first few seconds.

3. How’s the family doing?
Does your date still have siblings? How is the relationship with the parents? If the harmony is right, you can also ask about childhood and fond memories of it.

4. Travel theme!
Tell about your last trip and ask where your date has been or where she/he would like to go. This topic can be a topic of conversation for the next few hours, especially for travelers who love to travel.

5. Love goes through the stomach
Ask your date whether he/she likes to cook, prefers to eat, or likes to get something from the snack bar. Different diets can also be a great topic of conversation.

6. Pets – dog, cat, mouse …
“Do you actually have a pet?” Is a good introduction to many animal topics, e.g. whether your date is more of a cat or a dog person.

7. The good old school days
If school wasn’t too long ago, you can talk to each other about school at any time. The ice can be broken quickly if you talk to each other about teacher pranks, hate subjects, and entries in the mum book.

8. Movies & Series
“Do you have Netflix?” “What is your favorite series?” “Or do you rather watch YouTube?” are great questions to avoid a minute’s silence.

9. Sport is murder?
“Are you more of a sports grouch or do you need a lot of exercises?” “You do sports regularly, don’t you? “Do you have a favorite sport?”

10. Study, training, job
If your dating partner is still in the middle of training, you can ask him what he would like to do afterward. If he’s already working, you can ask how he ended up in this area.

A successful farewell

When positive signals come from both sides, that’s great! It looks like there’s more to it than “just” a date.

You don’t have to wait 3 days until you meet the next time, you can also do it right:

  • When do we meet again? (= I can hardly wait.)
  • Next time I’ll show you my favorite bar! (= I am really interested in you and am really looking forward to the second date.)
  • To be honest: I will most likely not stick to the 3-day rule with you. (= I think you’re hot and great and want to see you again as soon as possible.)

Tip: Both women and men find “the last look” important and very exciting: So turn around just before you go and smile. Before you get into your car, take one last look at him/her and you’re gone.

Important: Even if you didn’t talk about your second date on the first date or shortly after the first date, that’s not a bad sign.

Shy men in particular do not dare to ask about the second meeting and prefer to do so over the phone.

But what if you don’t want a second date?

If you (or both of you) feel that it absolutely does not fit, it is best to be open and honest at this point. The following phrases help to make the farewell polite and honest at the same time:

  • I found our meeting very nice, but it didn’t work for me – sorry.
  • You’re a totally cool guy, but unfortunately not my type.
  • I found it very interesting to meet you. You have a cool personality but unfortunately, I lack that certain something for a second date.

similar questions

What do men really want on a first date? Assuming your dating partner is looking for a real relationship (not a one-night stand), 99% of all men want you to get along well, and that it tingles. No more and no less.

A kiss on a first date? A kiss on the cheek is usually a welcome kiss on a first date. Depending on how your contact was before the date and what the actual date was, there is also a real kiss in it. Just don’t fall into the house with the door.

What do men think after the first date? Men tend to think in black and white. Either he thought you and your date were great. Then he can almost only think of you and your next date. Or you don’t fit together and he’s looking again.


In summary, we can say that men – just like women – are always a little nervous deep down on the first date. Depending on the type of man (shy vs. self-confident), nervousness varies from “slightly tingling” to “panicked”.

And the most important thing is: Fear of the first date is completely normal – regardless of whether you are a man or woman.

Would you like to tell me what tips you have in order not to be too nervous on the first date?

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