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We become attached to many people throughout our lives. We are looking for those who could be trusted, with whom no difficulties are terrible. However, these people are very difficult to find. And while we are looking for “those”, we manage to become attached to “the wrong ones”. Each gap is difficult, especially if a person has already managed to get used to a partner.
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It is especially difficult to cope with the fact that all your friends and acquaintances have achieved success in relationships, but you have not. It seems that they found the love of their life on the first try and are happy to the point of exhaustion. So when you go out on a date and date someone you really like, there’s a danger of getting attached too quickly – and sex exacerbates that.
What needs to be done in order not to initially become attached to a person and understand whether this is the contender for the heart that you are looking for? Indeed, often in such cases it turns out that after a breakup it is not possible to resume normal life activity, and then the person realizes that his whole life was built around the one who left.
Don’t rush into sex
Instead of trying to lure someone into your bed as quickly as possible, you should take the time to communicate with the other person. A strong emotional connection must precede the physical – then everything will be in order. Sex is an expression of intimacy and love, but sex is not love. Physical attractiveness is extremely strong, so sexual desires are difficult to resist the mind that says: “Go for it.”
But if you’re really interested in establishing a real and lasting relationship, you probably don’t want to have sex with a partner right off the bat and then wake up a few weeks later realizing that you have nothing in common other than a physical attraction that soon starts to evaporate.
Hurrying your partner with sex, you really do not recognize the one who is in front of you. If one single thought has settled in the head – sex, many emotions caused by passion are distorted. In other words, some habits may initially seem cute, and then, when sex occurs, interest in a partner goes out, and at the same time, cute habits become annoying or even hateful.
Therefore, try to pull yourself together and not get hung up on physical intimacy – emotional intimacy is much more important if you want to build a strong, long-term union.
Don’t Forget Your Own Existence
Think about whether you have become too dependent on your soulmate? Are you constantly waiting for a message from her, an appearance on the network or a call in order to be a little bit sure that you are needed? Do you constantly check the pages of your loved one on social networks to understand what he is doing, with whom he is chatting? Are you angry that you don’t get a reply to your message right away?
This is a “sick” addiction, which will become fatal in building interpersonal relationships. The best sanity check is to remind yourself that a certain amount of time ago you didn’t even know this person existed. Now that he has entered your life, has everyday existence ceased? You should not concentrate all plans around your loved one – you are both people who need a life outside of a couple. Do not change the established way of life – just make some adjustments to it so that there is room for the second half in it.
Set boundaries
A serious relationship is definitely a cool thing. But often people take them too seriously, trying to control every step of a loved one in order to know literally about everything.
Frequent questions like: “Where have you been?”, “Why didn’t you answer the phone”, “Who is this girl on your friends list?” What unknown number is calling you? are destructive to relationships. This is a time bomb that needs immediate elimination.
It is time to have a serious talk and discuss disturbing topics. Talk about the need for small boundaries. Of course, within reason. For example, if a girl went for a walk in the company of her friends, and returned home a little later than she promised, there is no need to arrange an interrogation with addictions. However, if she left two days ago and does not even call, this is not normal.
Boundaries must be set in some aspects that are not so important, but which will help to avoid being overly intrusive and ubiquitous. Believe me, not a single relationship will develop along a healthy trajectory with total control.
Getting attached to someone is a natural process. However, if a person merges too strongly and quickly with someone, this can lead to devastating consequences. Let’s be honest, people are leaving. No matter how much they love, and no matter how much they vow to be with you to the end. Having clearly realized this fact, a person will be able to soberly build a chain of further actions, set priorities, and be able to build trusting relationships.
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