Avoidant attachment in a relationship and its causes! Your relationship with your beloved man develops according to the scenario: you became close, but he suddenly disappeared, then again? Or is he constantly creating an emotional distance between you and acting cold? Most likely, you are in a relationship with a man whose model of relationships is avoidance of the mouth.
What is avoidant attachment?
The image of relationships in the life of each person is formed from childhood. Attachment theory was developed by psychologist John Bowley.
There are several types of attachment, but let’s look at the avoidant type, and try to understand how it is formed and why a man behaves this way.
Avoidant attachment is more common in men than in women. This may be due to the fact that since childhood it is more difficult for boys to express emotions, they learn to block them.
And if a man in the past faced a strong traumatic event and could not survive it emotionally, but suppressed or repressed it, an avoidant behavior pattern is formed.
Signs of an avoidant attachment type in a man
- Intimacy and fear of intimacy
Such a man subconsciously does not believe that a woman can satisfy his need for intimacy, so he tries to control, minimize or completely suppress this need.
That’s not what it is in the world, it’s possible to call it that. And in the case of an avoidant man, this need is there, he just blocks it.
He deprives himself of the joy of life, because he cannot believe that you can rely on someone and trust. No one takes the boat, it is not possible to carry out the processing, loss or grief. It is likely that in the past no one acknowledged his needs and pain, and no one accompanied him through the disappointment so that he could feel supported in these experiences.
An avoidant man is afraid that someone will consider him unimportant and unnecessary. According to Erichina, he hides his emotions and feelings, does not open up to deep relationships, even though he is a nutacter.
He is also afraid that if the woman he loves finds out his real thoughts, emotions, ups, and downs, she will see that he is not good enough and eventually leave or ignore him.
- Lack of trust
A man with an avoidant attachment style is afraid to trust. On no account, on the list that belongs to the emotional districts, it is possible to see the partitions. Because emotions are what connects people with each other. You don’t see it in the drug you love, so the interpreters say that it’s about other people.
To ease the pain of loneliness, unfulfilled desires for intimacy and ft in oneself,
“I would like to meet someone, but I have an important project at work right now, I will start dating when I have less work”, “I have to call her, but I’m so tired, it’s been such a long day. I’ll call her tomorrow”, “I want a relationship, but I have high expectations, and I do not intend to lower these expectations.” All reasons are designed to protect him from the risk of entering into a new relationship.
- Conflicts and emotions
The avoidant man does not handle conflicts and emotional conversations well. On fears that conflict may lead to criticism, anger or guilt. Predpochitaet either say nothing or do it in a passive-aggressive manner.
On the other hand, it is not necessary to predict it so that it is possible. It can be said that sometimes his inner radar is tuned only to disappointment, and good moments slip away. It is a conflict, on a language that is written, a language that is generated, not controlled by the human body.
- Stealth and ignoring
An avoidant man pushes a woman away when she wants to know more, to get closer to him. He doesn’t want to show himself 100%. Therefore, it hides true emotions, while the LF fragments – the glaucous version of itself – like, according to my milk,
Since he never fully reveals himself to you, he may seem mysterious. Perhaps this is what attracted you, but in the end, you want to see his real, and the mystery begins to be perceived as inaccessible.
He moves away more than he approaches. As a result, the evader rushes into a situation that he is afraid of thick.
- Fear of emotions
Such a man is afraid of his emotions and the emotions of other people. Because emotions are engagement, which means an increased risk of disappointment and unfulfillment. When he avoids these states, he feels that he is in control of the situation. For such a man, the emotions of a woman are very frightening, he does not understand them. He does not know what to do with them, just as he does not know what to do with his own.
He believes that because happiness is fleeting and sadness too painful, both should be avoided. Therefore, it repels both of these emotions. The problem, however, is that it is not possible to suppress any feeling on a large scale, the ability to uvajected chr à.
- Streamline to control
Deep down, an avoidant man wants intimacy, but can’t admit it or enjoy intimate moments, feeling uncomfortable. It is difficult for him to completely relax, to give himself free rein. On the other hand, it is possible for the emoji under the control, so that in the moment it is possible to do so.
- Hiding Needs
Another feature of the avoidant type is not showing their needs. Showing them to others, such a man exposes himself to the danger of being rejected. He may satisfy the needs of others to ensure their happiness, but he neglects his own.
Deep down he wants someone to take care of him, but he doesn’t believe that anyone will care, that someone will take him seriously if he asks for help. It’s not spoken and it’s not worth it, it’s not like that. It turns out a vicious circle.