Can a kiss be considered cheating? Poll results! And what can be called change? Romantic feelings, a kiss, a meeting with another person in secret from your partner?
Where does that thin line lie between betrayal and “what are you imagining, we had nothing”?
Perhaps humanity will never come to a consensus on this issue. Adherents of polyamory and open relationships will not even ask this question. Someone considers a kiss with a person of the same sex only pampering, but for someone it is an occasion to pack up and delete a partner from their lives.
Is kissing considered cheating? Do guys and girls look at betrayal the same way?
Now we will find out.
Can a kiss be considered cheating? Poll results
Opinion of men and women
According to psychologists, men interpret the word “treason” a little differently than women. Men tend to be more likely than women to share sex and intimate relationships. For many men, sex is sex and relationships are relationships, and they don’t necessarily overlap.
Will a guy who is used to cheating on his girlfriend consider kissing cheating? Hardly.
How does a girl feel in such a situation? If the kiss was accidental (the guy kissed the girl, not really interested in her opinion), the girl will experience some discomfort. And if, kissing a man, she was aware of what she was doing and had a romantic interest in him, she would begin to feel guilty.
Of course, it is impossible to describe in two paragraphs the behavior, thinking and feelings of seven billion people. Let’s turn to the statistics and listen to the opinions of real people.
“What can be called treason?” Interview
The study was conducted by the University of Michigan in 2013. Participants: a group of students.
The subjects were offered 27 different behaviors and a rating scale from 1 to 100 points. One point means that the subject does not consider this or that behavior to be a deception. A score of one hundred points indicates that the subject regards this form of behavior solely as a betrayal.
The study once again proved what we talked about at the beginning of the article – there is no single definition of “treason”.
Opinions were divided. Different guys and girls gave different marks to the same forms of behavior.
But now we will not dwell on boring scores. Another thing is interesting – it turns out that in addition to physical betrayal and a kiss, there are a number of “betrayals” that many do not think about.
- Too frivolous touches;
- Buying gifts, paying bills, having dinner at a restaurant with someone other than a partner;
- Correspondence from morning to night;
- Frank correspondence;
- Date with someone other than a partner;
- Active use of dating sites and applications (with the intention of exchanging contacts and meeting);
- Communication with the former;
- Sexual dancing with someone other than a partner;
- Exchange of telephone numbers;
It is quite obvious that against the background of these behaviors, a kiss is automatically equated with treason.
And partners who forbid each other to spend time with friends are afraid to even think about it. For them, even liking a photo of a former classmate or colleague is a cruel betrayal and a knife in the back.
Is a kiss cheating?
Scientists will not calm down – they continue to explore intersexual relationships.
But the results of these studies are sometimes disappointing.
Almost 20% of men do not consider sex on the side cheating. Everyone knows that cheating is bad. But the boundaries of “bad”, it turns out, everyone has their own.
The same opinion is shared by 15% of women – they do not consider “just sex” a betrayal.
A third of men do not consider kissing cheating.
If we talk about those who adhere to standard views, then a kiss is a betrayal. In the top of unforgivable acts, he stands immediately after sex on the side.
Also, according to the study, many women consider hugging cheating. But the guys are more calm and cool about it.
If we turn to specific figures, then only 30% of men consider hugs to be cheating.
Half of the women are sure that the emotional attachment of a man to another is a betrayal. A third of women will be furious if their man takes another’s hand.
What else is considered cheating?
According to another study by ubiquitous scientists, about 50% of young men do not consider kissing cheating. 73% of women strongly disagree with them.
Move on. 75% of women believe that cyber sex (intimate correspondence, etc.) is cheating. Only 50% of men agree with them (perhaps these are the same fifty percent that are not ready to forgive their girlfriend for a kiss with another guy).
“It doesn’t depend on your gender. If you kiss another person and don’t consider it cheating, there is a complete lack of respect for your partner and relationship in general,” says dating coach James Preece.
“If you’re not thinking about how your partner will feel and how they’ll react, you’re definitely dating the wrong person,” Preece adds.
And now let’s talk about a study conducted by BBC Radio 5 Live, in which 2066 Britons took part.
91% of respondents unanimously declare that sex is cheating. And what about “walking” on dating sites and apps? 40% call such entertainment a betrayal.
Liz, 26, had been married for three years when she, her husband, and several friends were drinking through nine innings of a Major League baseball game. After that, they went to a few bars, and Liz—whose husband doesn’t dance—ended up dancing with a friend. “I woke up with hazy memories of dancing and kissing with a guy, of my friend dragging me to the bathroom, and of throwing up on the side of the road on the way home.”
Here Liz decides to add something else: “This incident happened a couple of weeks after my husband confessed. He slept with our mutual friend before we got married. I think a drunken part of me decided this kiss would equalize us. If I had been sober, I still would not have dared to hurt him so much. We’ve been through it. But if things had gone too far that night, we would have needed outside help – we would have turned to a psychotherapist.
“I think there should be room for honest ‘oops situations’ in relationships,” says Sam, 27. His girlfriend Kelsey, whom they dated for a long time, kissed their best friend.
“Two days after that, she came to me, full of remorse and honestly about everything. She said they were drunk and what happened meant nothing. We talked, figured everything out and moved on,” he says.
“I don’t think most guys think kissing is cheating,” says Olivia, 27. Her boyfriend kissed a stranger, being in a relationship with her for about six months.
“Our relationship means so much more than a casual kiss in a club. I had to weigh the pros and cons to decide if it was worth breaking up, ”says Olivia. The guys figured out everything and kept the relationship. However, Olivia admits that if it wasn’t for the kiss, she wouldn’t be able to forgive it.
What should we do?
At the initial stage of the relationship, discuss with your partner everything that you consider unacceptable. If it turns out that you have different views on this issue, get ready for the fact that one day a serious scandal will break out. No need to comfort yourself with the thought that your boyfriend or girlfriend will change their mind. Relationships in which partners look at fundamental things differently run the risk of getting on your nerves.
What is considered cheating.