Many of the most significant experiences of a person’s life are lived on the university stage. Friendship or work relationships are born that can last for many years; Among these relationships, dating at the university is one of the most impactful.
In this phase, many skills necessary for adult life are learned.
It requires a high degree of dedication and discipline like never before in life, managing the time between academia and social life is challenging.
Relationships that occur in college face a series of unique challenges, since they develop in a stage of great change: from managing time, distance, and personal care, to looking for different paths.
In the midst of all this pressure and transition, the couple can be a support and company that helps to deal with the process or, on the contrary, they can become another source of pressure.
For many, the college partner turns out to be their lifelong partner.
COLLEGE DATING: COPING WITH A SHORT-TERM RELATIONSHIP
As we have mentioned, organizing time at this stage is key.
Although the person who lives the other university experience is never missing: skipping classes and partying at all hours.
But if it is a very dedicated person, everything can seem very overwhelming.
Coming and going from your stay to campus, classes, copies, reaching project groups in the library or media room, cultural workshops, going after that teacher for the necessary advice, planning assignments, going to school. the practice of the company or institution, etc.
Thinking about dating in college may not cross your mind, but connections exist and they do.
Among all the movements it is inevitable that someone, among so many people, catches your attention and begins to seriously interest you.
The good news is that taking care of a relationship on short notice is possible; As we have discussed in the article How to take care of your relationship at university or work, managing quality time as a couple is completely viable.
By adopting the points covered in said article to the university experience, and taking into account the following recommendations, it will be easy to take care of the connection between the two:
- Take the time to say everything you have to say according to your day, always listening attentively and understandingly.
- If there is something that might make one of you feel frustrated or angry, talk about it to ease your spirits.
- Make a commitment to have time dedicated solely to yourselves after all classes and activities (when possible). A space that the two of them can enjoy: they can, for example, have “mini dates”.
AND TO KEEP THE SENSE OF CONNECTION:
- Notes with cute messages in your backpack, post-its on your laptop. Love letters are still valid even in the digital age.
- To be able to enjoy lunchtime together.
- Romantic text messages in those moments that you have a breather; express to him how much you love him, how happy you are with him, or how much you miss him. There are many ideas of good messages to send.
- Stop by to see him and leave him his favorite treat or a coffee, or just kiss him.
- Walking holding hands or hugging, or riding in the same vehicle.
I DATE AT THE UNIVERSITY WHEN THERE IS DISTANCE
You may start college while already in a relationship; But unfortunately your partner may be in another city, or even in another country, starting that new stage just like you.
Therefore, you would be in a long-distance relationship, and if so, know the pros and cons of long-distance relationships.
On the other hand, perhaps the only idea you have of what a relationship with these characteristics is like is everything that your acquaintances tell you, what you see in series, soap operas, or movies.
Just having the name in mind can cause you some anxiety, which is understandable.
Long-distance relationships have a bad reputation and you will often hear bad experiences related to the concept.
Relationships “in-person” have the same care as relationships at a distance, so the only real difference is that you keep in mind how to carry out that care.
Let’s start with one of the most important aspects.
1. DATING AT THE UNIVERSITY: TAKE CARE OF COMMUNICATION
It is not just “talking”, it is taking care of the way they express themselves to stay together and work as a team, which creates the basis for a healthy relationship.
And this is even more important in a long-distance relationship since communication is the main way to take care of other aspects as a couple.
You can always use Skype, Hangouts, or the many video calling options.
If hearing your voice is not enough, with these tools you can make video calls.
Although they can speak in written form (Facebook, WhatsApp, Telegram, Line, direct messages on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, etc.), something that, in short, you want to use is the voice: either by voice messages, calls, or video calls.
Speaking in written form can be very useful to avoid neglecting those small details such as spontaneous compliments or messages with an “I hope we can see each other soon”, but your voice will always transmit what cannot be formulated in writing.
2. COLLEGE DATING: KEEP SHOWING AFFECTION
There are many ways to show affection, be it digitally or in a little more classic ways.
Take a look at the following alternatives!
“I HAVE YOU IN MY THOUGHTS”:
You can send a text message or a voice message with that phrase to melt your special someone directly.
Another way by which you can express all your affection is by drawing their attention to things that remind you or interest you.
These types of actions that seem simple, really have an implicit message: “this person thought of you and decided to share something with you.”
Try Good morning messages for my boyfriend or dedicate good night phrases to him before bed, emotions always surface.
Do it whenever possible!
A DIGITAL DETAIL:
You don’t need to be an expert in graphic design, master’s degree in programming, or have the level of a film director to create a digital detail that captivates your partner.
It can be a photo of both of you with part of the lyrics of that song that means so much to you, a collage, a happy birthday presentation with everything you like, etc.
A video call to share dinner together is a good idea.
A PHYSICAL DETAIL:
Not in all situations or continuously you can send a physical detail. But when you can, it is something that makes a couple feel closer.
Either a letter written in your own handwriting or a craft; Another option is to buy something online to have it delivered to your address. Adding a personalized note is always a nice touch.
Great details are noticeable and pretty, but something as simple as a listening ear during difficult times can be one of the greatest displays of affection.
Although this advice is especially dedicated to people who have long-distance relationships, where there is a limited period of time in which they can see each other, the concept is very useful for those couples who cannot constantly interact and must value the time they share.
It’s simple advice but one that drastically changes the way distance is perceived.
Do not think about the time that you will not see each other; count down the time you are going to see each other.
COLLEGE DATING: SELF-WELL-BEING AND SELF-ESTEEM
This point is probably one of the most important.
According to recent studies, university students are under such a level of pressure that problems with anxiety, eating, depression, etc., are quite common.
Precisely for all the adaptations that we have mentioned, that pressure can be a lot if it is not handled properly.
SO, KEEP THESE POINTS IN MIND:
- Take care of your diet and sleeping habits: Eating only one slice of pizza and sleeping 3 hours a day is something that will take its toll on your health sooner or later.
- If you feel mentally fatigued: Many colleges offer the services of an on-campus psychologist. If not, you can always find one online.
- Learn to say no: Your time and energy are important. You have every right to decide what you want.
One point we’ve talked about a lot in these articles and in online consultations is the importance of self-care.
Taking care of yourself and your well-being should be the priority.
By achieving your own well-being, it will be easier to share it with another person, enjoying the relationship without unnecessary complications.
ENJOYING NOW: THE KEY TO TAKING CARE OF YOUR COURTSHIP IN COLLEGE
Something common in college is anxiety when thinking about the future.
There are many things that can cause you uncertainty: what will you do after university? Will you work or continue studying? Is today’s city the best for you or is it better to move?
As for your relationship, there are probably many doubts and you wonder in which direction it will go.
THE BEST RECOMMENDATION IS: DEDICATE YOURSELF TO NOW!
Enjoy the present: the learnings you are acquiring, the experiences you are living, and above all, your relationship in the present.
Enjoying the now will take a huge, unnecessary weight off your shoulders by not worrying about things that are not yet real or solid in the future.
Enjoy the present with your partner!