Divorce due to infidelity and betrayal of the husband – statistic! Why do people cheat when everyone knows it’s bad? Do you want to eat, do you want to eat? Will she repeat? How to make the right decision and not succumb to the influence of momentary emotions?
Divorce due to infidelity – is it normal?
According to a sociological survey conducted in 2021 by the Mikhailov & Partners agency, Russians said “yes” to monogamy, with the caveat that 40% of those surveyed allow adultery in marriage.
At the same time, 54% of them believe that treason is a reason to get a divorce. In their opinion, this is the second reason for divorce, while the first is financial problems in the family.
In many ways, betrayal leads to divorce, because people are sure that he betrayed once, he will betray the second. And, frankly, this opinion is not unfounded.
2017 Research “Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Serial Infidelity Across Subsequent Relationships”, related to S. Scott, L. Ricci, K. Knopp and others proved that if a person cheated once, he will be 3 times more prone to further infidelity.
Treason is experienced painfully, because it “hit” on all fronts at once:
- by the sense of security that the relationship gave;
- by self-esteem, which falls due to the fact that the partner preferred someone else;
- on trust in relationships.
Often, after betrayal, the thought appears: “If he betrayed in this, then he can betray in everything else.”
Despite the fact that cheating is always perceived very hard, and the cheating spouse always knows that he is doing bad things, the number of cases of infidelity is quite high. Many explain this by genetics, and by the fact that monogamy, in principle, is not characteristic of men.
No you, there is no scientific confirmation of this. Like it or not, but despite the fact that only 3% of mammals are monogamous, humans are among this number.
We are characterized by the so-called “serial monogamy”, in which a person in his life has a few short bursts. Therefore, in psychology it is generally accepted that betrayal is not a matter of human nature, it is a consequence of a problem in.
These problems must be shared, it is necessary to say that the partner is only slightly different and it is difficult to find it. In any case, the bottom line is that some of the needs that one or both spouses have are not realized in.
It can be a need for recognition, novelty, passion, adrenaline, acceptance, security, etc. Sometimes cheating is the result of problems not in a relationship with another person, but in an internal conflict.
For example, a person has self-doubt, complexes, and betrayal is his way to increase his sense of self-worth or get more love, the lack of which he experienced in childhood.
Another problem is that modern couples are largely isolated from the world. A few decades ago, the couple lived as if in a clan, there were always several generations in the house.
Now, with the advent of self-sufficiency and material independence, partners are left only alone with each other. This has its drawbacks.
A person expects that the spouse will cover all needs, will be both a lover, and a friend, and a caring parent, will entertain, protect, accept, endure, and so on.
People make unrealistic demands on each other. A woman wants a man:
- on the one hand, he was strong, courageous, protected her from dangers, was a leader who knows how to take a rei;
- on the other hand, he must be sensual, sentimental, and ask for permission
The same applies to male requirements. He wants his wife to be both a good housewife and a caring mother, while earning money, looking good, always in a good mood, and so on.
Both partners want the relationship to be stable and reliable, at the same time they want novelty, passion for elobunarinam, adrina
In addition to the protection and the effects of the drug.
How to decide on a divorce?
Whatever the reason for cheating, if it happened, this is already a fact that you need to come to terms with as a given and make an important decision: is cheating a reason for divorce.
The answer to this question can only be found by you. No need to start spontaneously resolving events. Give yourself time to realize what happened, to pull yourself together.
In order to decide whether to save a marriage or get married, you need to think and otitis ° n^ not we can.
- How valuable are relationships to you?
Think about your marriage. What is the most valuable thing in it for you? How much does he give you? It is best to make 2 lists – “pluses” and “minuses”. It is important to understand that no relationship is without problems. The whole question is what is more – happiness or grief.
- Are you ready to forgive betrayal
Listen to yourself, to your feelings. Is that what you say about it? Will you find the strength in yourself to forgive him, to again experience warm feelings for him?
It is very important to honestly admit to yourself whether you are ready for this, because staying married, but every time reminding your husband and yourself of betrayal, this will not make you or him happy.
- Does a man feel remorse?
Not only your position is important, but also your husband’s. Do you want to know, do you want to do it? Or does he not care how you feel? Perhaps on already wants to get a divorce.
In addition to the words he says, pay attention to the actions – is he making any specific attempts to make things right, or is he just waiting for you to calm down and forgive him?
- What did cheating mean to a man?
You should not ask your spouse for details of what happened, but you need to figure out whether it was a one-time affair or a permanent lover, whether he had feelings for her or did not even remember her name, whether it was by accident, under the influence of the moment, or planned.
- Did you find the reason for the betrayal
The reason is not another woman at all, but a problem in your relationship. It is important to think about what is wrong with them now. Why do you miss each other, where you took a wrong turn, and is it possible to return to that point. How to do it?
- Have your relationships changed?
It is not necessary, it is not necessary, it is not possible to understand it, and it is not necessary.
In this regard, cheating can be the key to reaching a qualitatively new level of communication, when you start talking more, sharing feelings, becoming psychologically closer.
When you find the answers to these questions, you will understand what you really want.