WHY DOES MY EX-HUSBAND NOT WANT TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME AFTER THE DIVORCE? WHY DOESN’T HE WANT TO COMMUNICATE WITH HIS CHILDREN? MANY EX-WIVES ASK THIS QUESTION. LET’S TRY TO ANSWER IT.
Why does the ex-husband not wish to communicate with the ex-wife and children?
Is it possible to improve relations with an ex-husband, and is it worth doing it whatsoever?
Let us try to answer the questions which are relevant for lots of people in more detail.
My first husband and I remain good friends and there is no reason why I shouldn’t see him. -VIVIEN LEIGH
The end of the Relationship!
Quite rarely, divorce happens in a civilized environment, without reproaches, tears, or scandals. In addition, not every man or woman can peacefully accept sudden changes in their personal life.
Resentment, pain, fear of the future – this is a small part of the emotions that a woman experiences during a divorce. But, paradoxically, some ladies attempt to maintain friendly relations with their ex-spouse. Why doesn’t he want to see me? This question keeps even the staunchest women awake at night.
Sometimes, calm communication between people is not only possible but also necessary. For instance, if they intersect at work or have children in common. In other scenarios, the “ex” prefer not to meet again, because they see no point in this.
The examples we’ve described have a positive outcome since the ex-spouses could agree and feel calm. However, there are cases when a woman wishes to continue communicating, and a man in every possible manner interferes with her intention.
If you are interested in the question of why the ex-husband does not want to communicate, then you should immediately understand yourself.
Why does the ex-husband not want to communicate and leaves the family?
You can talk for hours about the problems and mental disorders that affected the breakup. But the problem is always the same: both sides are always to blame for parting. Often times, you marry one person and separate from another.
Everybody is eaten by routine, nobody wants to work on relationships, talk about problems, trusting that they will be solved by themselves. The woman thinks her husband will not part with me, since I gave birth to his child. But children have never kept and won’t keep a man in marriage.
The consequences of breaking such a relationship between a man and a woman:
- After leaving the family, the man doesn’t communicate with his ex-wife, but maintains contact with the child, for example, through his parents. Therefore, the man escapes responsibility to his ex-wife. He’s afraid to look her in the eye, admit his mistakes, talk about new relationships, and so on.
- When leaving, a man ceases to stay in contact with his children and ex-wife. Such problems are very often addressed in court, since leaving the household doesn’t remove the person’s responsibility for those children. He’s obliged to support and educate them.
Burnt bridges
Divorce happens for many reasons. In some families, it is caused by treason, in other money problems, in other alcohol, and so on. So why do you want to keep on communicating with a person who didn’t appreciate you and your feelings?
Perhaps you are telling others the following reasons:
- High relationships – you feel that civilized people should keep face even after a breakup. Then bear in mind that this outcome is only possible if both partners have the same intentions. If a man does not have ideas about further cooperation, then his opinion should be respected.
- Desire to take care of your ex-husband – you believe he wants your help since he’s completely helpless in the face of normal difficulties. In such cases, the behavior of the ex-husband is clear – he tries to protect himself from the control of a woman who’s already completely alien to him.
- Profitable friendship – you’re positive that a great relationship can bring you some bonuses over time. If your intentions are obvious to your ex-husband, then he might feel he is being used. Don’t be surprised if he immediately disappears from sight and stops answering calls.
- Domestic issues – does your home constantly experience accidents or do you need minor repairs? Therefore, she habitually turns to her ex-husband to get support. If the ex-spouse has a new fire, then he is unlikely to be concerned about your problems. To avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary offenses, it is better to call a paid specialist from the appropriate organization to your home.
Do not forget that a man can avoid communication with his ex-wife if she seeks to return him and comes up with new methods of manipulation. In this case, he tries to minimize communication and break all ties in one fell swoop.
“Former” Dad
It is sad to look at families where kids become hostages of the parents that sort things out. They hide behind their name, solving personal problems, extort money, or attention from one another. The question of why my ex-husband stopped communicating with me fades to the background. But still, think about how this behavior affects the youngest members of the family and whether it is worth continuing the war, requiring the husband to regularly communicate with his daughter or son.
So, what reasons can a dad have for stopping meeting with children:
- Feelings of guilt – insecure men are often ashamed of their impartial actions and want to meet a child as little as possible after a divorce. This issue can be solved if you call your partner for a frank conversation and convince him that parting cannot become a hindrance to the love of a father with a son or daughter.
- The transfer of a bad relationship from an ex-spouse to a child is a rather tough problem to solve, and for that reason, plenty of efforts will need to be made to restore friendly relations.
- A new family – when a new girlfriend asks a person to stop communicating with a child, then you can’t do anything. The only one who can influence the situation is your “ex”.
- The desire to start life from a new leaf – a professional psychologist who specializes in working with families can help in this situation. However, if the child’s father does not agree to make contact, then you are unlikely to be able to change the situation.
Communication with a son or daughter is very essential for an adequate individual, even if he doesn’t yet realize it. Subsequently, he’ll highly appreciate your tact, restraint, and valuable assistance in this delicate matter.
If the man does not respond to all attempts to establish his connection with the children, then give up. Try to cope with the situation and don’t involve the child in solving it.
Children perfectly feel the mood of the mother, and it depends only on her how they will perceive the current state of affairs. Therefore, you shouldn’t discuss the negative qualities of the father with the child, complain about his indifference, and feel sorry for yourself.
Much of marital friction arises from the wife talking too much and the husband listening too little. -KURT GOETZ
Responsibility for actions
Men who avoid responsibility either have issues with alcohol and drugs or have a new relationship in which a woman forbids a man to fulfill his fatherly responsibility and see his son and daughter. In such situations, it would be the right choice for your spouse to sue and generally prohibit the man from seeing his son. Very often, this technique works, and men return to the family, realizing what they had and almost lost.
All situations that have arisen in the family shouldn’t be kept silent. Make certain to talk about problems and look for solutions together. It is worth remembering that relationships are hard work on both sides. Be friends and fans. Have an interest in each other’s hobbies and passions. Do not hesitate to contact family psychologists. Psychological practice indicates that 80% of couples who seek professional help have prevented divorce.
Conclusion
Every time you ask yourself why your spouse stopped talking to me, try to distract yourself from the resentment and switch. It’s much more important to see what you’re doing in order for him to prevent close communication. The fact is that each person achieves a certain relationship with a partner in various ways.
To track down all unconscious motives and stop following them, you should contact a professional psychologist or psychotherapist. Only a couple of consultations with a fantastic specialist will relieve the pain of resentment, and will also help solve real and far-fetched problems.
