Does he miss me if I don’t get in touch? Insights into male psychology
No sooner have you parted with a man you still love than you wonder how you can win him back.
It’s the same when you deal with an unpredictable man who plays this way and that – you want to find a way to stay with him forever.
Is permanent availability the right way to secure a permanent place in a man’s heart and mind? Or should there be total radio silence, so that he misses you and longs for you?
No matter how much you long to call your boyfriend and invite him over for an explanation or a second chance, believe me when I tell you it doesn’t help.
You’re just showing him that he can have you whenever he feels like it. He may also think you’re too needy and then distance himself even more from you.
In the end, you won’t get your ex back, nor will you persuade a man into a committed relationship.
So the answer to your question is: yes, he’ll miss you if you don’t get in touch. If you do everything right, he’ll soon be begging you for a second chance.
What does a contact block do for men?
With a contact block, you can make any man miss you. If you leave him alone, he’ll come back to you – as paradoxical as it may sound – that’s the basic principle of male psychology.
First, he’ll do everything in his power to find out how you’re feeling and who you’re hanging out with. Are you over him already? Are you with someone new? Have you completely forgotten it by now?
These and similar questions will torment him non-stop, whether he likes it or not. Because the whole time you were within your grasp, and now you’ve suddenly disappeared without a trace.
That sure means something, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to find out. Before you know it, he won’t be able to stop thinking about you – and that’s exactly what you want to achieve.
Why is contact blocking so effective for men?
The magic of the contact lock lies in the tension it brings with it. For the first time ever, the guy has no idea what you’re up to next.
He has no idea what you’re up to. He doesn’t know if this is all just a trick or if you really don’t love him anymore.
He worries about it all the time, and after a while, he just can’t take it anymore – he has to get in touch to get the long-awaited answers.
Plus, blocking contacts is also a sign of strength and self-confidence. This shows that you are not afraid of losing this man forever.
On the contrary, you can do just fine without him. That clearly proves you survived the time without him, doesn’t it?
What can happen after the contact is blocked
You are probably wondering what goes on in a man’s mind while being blocked. Well, to answer that, one mustn’t forget that every relationship and every man is different.
So there are several possible reactions to expect after a contact lockout. Here are the most common ones:
He’ll get in touch
The good news is, in most cases, it will get the result you want: the man you yearn for will likely get in touch with you.
“Will he miss me if I don’t get in touch?” – Whenever you ask yourself this question, you expect a positive answer. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be doing all this fuss, would you?
The blockade made him realize that he either can’t live without you or doesn’t want to live – in the end, it comes down to the same thing.
The point is, this guy called, texted, or otherwise contacted you. Most men won’t tell you right away how much they miss you, however.
There’s a reason they don’t want to be so direct: they are probing the terrain. This guy has no idea if this is all just a play or if you really don’t want to hear from him anymore.
Obviously, he’s scared of losing you. That means that he bought your trick from you: he has no idea that all of this was only played to win him back; he thinks you’re over him long ago.
In this case, the man has no idea that this is really about him. That’s a good thing too, because it means that you have him exactly where you wanted him to be all along.
Exactly, for this reason, you can expect a message in which he asks you for help with something completely silly, wants his favorite shirt back, or just spontaneously reminds you of something nice that you used to do together.
Remember, these are all just excuses. He doesn’t want to risk you flashing him off, so he makes up a reason to get in touch.
That way, he’ll keep his dignity even if you don’t answer or if you give him the cold shoulder. After all, he just asked you something – he didn’t pour out his heart to you or confess that he couldn’t live without you.
However, if you do answer you can be one hundred percent sure that he will do everything in his power to keep the conversation going.
As soon as he has received an answer, the ice is broken and he can now approach you bit by bit.
What to do?
The most important thing now is not to end the contact block just because he has texted you. You should definitely not dance to his tune.
You’d probably want to jump into his arms right away. After all, after such a long time you finally got what you wanted – so why wait any longer?
Well, you should really think twice about it. Is this guy really ready to change? Does he really want you back or does he just want to test whether he can have you whenever he feels like it?
We must not forget that he has not yet made an official declaration of love for you. So it cannot be ruled out that this is just a trick.
It all depends, of course, on who initiated the breakup or started playing these games. If it was you and you regret it now, it would be only logical to take him back with open arms.
If it was him, it could also be that you hurt his ego with the contact block. Maybe he’d ditch you in an instant if he knew you’d be back to him in no time?
Sorry to disappoint you – I know this is the last thing you want to hear right now – but this is the crucial moment in your entire plan. You can ruin anything with just one mistake.
And when you do that – when you show him that he can have you anytime, there is no going back. Contact lockout will never work again.
So please be careful and think twice about it. I can only advise you not to rush anything.
You don’t have to ignore him forever. At a certain point, you can have a quiet chat with him and see what comes out of it.
In any case, you shouldn’t rush into anything and not declare yourself the winner before the duel is actually over.
He’s bombarding you with messages and calls
There’s a huge difference between a man who calls you once and one who bombardes you with messages and calls the moment he realizes he might lose you.
While the former is more about his pride and ego, the latter doesn’t care about any of that – he just wants to get you back asap.
While this doesn’t happen as often as we’d like, chances are the guy might suddenly show up at your door while on the block and beg you to come back to him.
This guy is calling you all the time, texting you non-stop, trying to reach you on all sorts of social media, and even talking to your best friends about how much he’d like to be reconciled with you.
I know: that would be the absolute fulfillment of your dreams. That is exactly what you wanted, and that is what you were hoping for when you decided on this strategy.
If this happens, it means you did everything right regarding contact blocking. But there is much more to it than mere radio silence.
Women who get this result don’t sit around home all the time waiting for their ex to contact them somehow and at some point.
They don’t put their lives on hold or worry every day whether the guy has at least the decency to admit his mistakes and ask for forgiveness.
On the contrary – they go on living their lives as if nothing had happened. I know that sounds practically impossible. Your heart is broken and you can’t just block out your pain.
Although no relationship expert can tell you exactly what to do to fix your broken heart as quickly as possible, everyone would certainly recommend that under these circumstances it would make the most sense to take your life into your own hands and to improve.
Most women let themselves go a little while they are grieving, and this is completely normal. You find it incredibly difficult to get out of bed in the morning, and, understandably, you don’t have the strength to use the rest of your day productively.
But that’s exactly what you have to do. Because all women who have achieved this result have done just that: They have managed to become desirable again.
When it comes to this guy, mere radio silence isn’t enough. You have to work on yourself and put the relationship aside.
Remember, this isn’t the only important relationship in your life. If your boyfriend leaves you, it won’t be the end of the world.
You still have your friends, your family, your job, your hobbies and most of all: yourself. So please shift your focus for a while and concentrate on everything that you have neglected during your relationship.
You were so fixated on your love life that you completely forgot about your private life outside of the relationship. Well, that has to change now.
Once you’ve broken off contact with your ex, your job is done. From then on, you basically have no choice but to wait and see.
What I’m saying is that you have a choice between using this waiting period as an opportunity for personal development or putting your life on hold and just letting the days go by until this man comes back.
If you choose the first option, he’ll likely crawl back towards you on his knees. As the saying goes – people usually come back when you’ve forgotten them.
Of course, you won’t erase it from your memory forever (wouldn’t that be exaggeratedly cool?), But you will no longer worry about it all the time.
If you can do that, all you have to do is make yourself happy. And if you succeed, your ex will notice your positive charisma and immediately feel attracted to you again.
Trust me, if that works out, it’s not just your ex-boyfriend who will want his place back in your life. Every man around you will mess with you.
Chances are, some of your long-forgotten ex-boyfriends will make a comeback as well.
What to do?
If you see your ex-boyfriend (or near-boyfriend) sincerely regretting everything he did to you, feel free to give him another chance.
After all, he wouldn’t beg of you if he didn’t really want you back and if he didn’t plan on appreciating you more than ever this time around.
When a man bombard you with messages and calls and does everything in his power to get a response from you, it is a clear sign that he has learned his lesson. At least for now.
But be careful: Despite all of his best efforts, you shouldn’t be too early about his behavioral change. Because all of this is by no means a guarantee that he will not leave you again as soon as he gets what he wants.
He lets you taste your own medicine
What if he punishes you in the same way with silence? What if you two are playing the same game and he lets you taste your own medicine?
You know, there are times when a man is dying to hear from you but just doesn’t want to take the first step. This can happen if you’re in a long-distance relationship, if you’ve already broken up, or if you’re both playing the same game.
An extremely stubborn guy would rather eat his heartache than act against his pride.
This man doesn’t want to contact you because he’s waiting for you to take the first step. He keeps asking himself: “Why doesn’t she answer first?”
This is especially true for ex-partners who are unaware of their mistakes. This man loves you – otherwise, he wouldn’t be plagued by all these dilemmas.
However, from his point of view, he is not to blame for your separation. Either he blames you alone or he thinks you both are equally to blame.
When you deal with someone like this, you get the impression that the contact lockout didn’t work. You assume that despite the radio silence, he still does not miss you, since the desired result obviously does not occur.
What does it mean when a man doesn’t answer?
If a man doesn’t answer at all, does that prove he’s completely forgotten about you? Does it mean that if he doesn’t do anything, he doesn’t miss you at all?
No, absolutely not. Let’s look at it from a different perspective.
I know you can’t read minds and magically find out what’s going on in this man’s head, but believe me when I tell you that someone’s behavior doesn’t always reflect their feelings.
Just take yourself as an example. You miss him – there is no question about that. You want to win this man back at any cost and you are far from ready to get over him.
However, your behavior says something completely different. When it comes to your feelings, you are doing practically nothing.
So it is entirely possible that he will do exactly the same thing. You both wait for the other to end the radio silence and place the relationship above his or her pride.
What to do?
Will you break the ice Will you be the first to break contact?
Definitely not. And why? Because you have no idea if your ex is really just testing you because he loves you but is too proud to admit it.
Or maybe he’s just testing you and waiting for you to take the first step so he can do whatever he wants with you again once you’ve made up. On the other hand, it can also be that he is simply no longer interested in you.
Anyway, you’ve come this far and now you’re not going to ruin everything just because there’s a chance he’ll feel the same as you do.
You don’t have any evidence of that either, do you? As much as you wish your guesses were correct, you just can’t be sure right now.
Basically, you have two options here. You can just go ahead and continue to ignore him.
Whenever you grab your cell phone and are tempted to contact him, you can simply ask yourself the following questions: “Why doesn’t he call me? What’s stopping him from texting me? “
Remember, if he can take all this fuss, so can you. If he can live without you, you can do it without him. He’s no better than you, and you shouldn’t give him what he wants so easily.
Trust me: if you give in first, he’ll see himself as the winner. For him, this will be a sign that he can be as mean to you as he wants – after all, you’ll always be the first to give in anyway.
Now you are probably wondering what other option you have left. Well, if you really can’t take it anymore, you can subtly signal to him that you are thinking of him.
However, this does not mean direct contact. Just give him the green light to get in touch with you.
For example, you can tell one of your mutual friends that you had a dream about them. If you are sure that he is still regularly browsing your social media profiles, you can also just post a song that will remind you of him.
For a real man, that should be more than enough. If he was afraid of a possible rejection, he has nothing to fear from now on.
However, if he is purposefully fooling you, you will only motivate him to continue with his games. In this case, you should put an end to the monkey theater and leave it to the radio silence.
You forget him
Last but not least, there is also a chance you might forget about this guy. You are afraid that he will stop loving you, and this ban on contact could also end with you giving him the cold shoulder.
You are very well aware that blocking contacts cannot do anything overnight. Sure, total radio silence sometimes works wonders, but it still takes a while to get what you want.
If you use this time properly, you will benefit from it. You will work on yourself and whip up all other relationships in your life.
Come on, this guy has been your number one for so long. It is high time to change that and finally put yourself and your own life first.
You will not believe me for sure, but trust me when I tell you that it is entirely possible that you will get over this man in the course of the ban on contact.
I know you originally had other plans. You are not consciously trying to forget about it, but before you know it, it will happen by itself.
Without even realizing it, you could get over your ex. Who knows, the contact blocking may also bring unexpected advantages.
What to do?
You were lucky enough to get over this guy while waiting for him to get back to you. Isn’t that great?
And what exactly should you do now? Nothing at all, of course.
I don’t know if it helped spending more time with your best friend, whether it was the gym or some other new hobby, or even the fact that you got rid of everything that reminded you of your ex.
Maybe you met a new man who gave you other thoughts.
Anyway, don’t doubt your feelings or be afraid that your indifference may only be temporary.
Otherwise, you could fall back into old patterns and start worrying about him again – and surely you don’t want that.
But what if he does answer? What if your silence leads to the desired result, even though you no longer feel the same way?
In this case, I have only one request of you: don’t let your ego tempt you. If he harmed you, you will likely want to get rid of him – just to get revenge.
Please believe me when I tell you this is not a good idea. With this, you will only harm yourself.
It is best if you just let go. You don’t love him anymore, and there is no better vengeance than indifference.
He forgets you
Last but not least, the question that everyone is most afraid of when they are blocked: will my ex forget me? You know what to say: out of sight, out of mind.
That probably won’t happen. But the fact is that it cannot be completely ruled out.
I don’t mean to fool you – this will probably break your heart into a million pieces.
You did everything in your power to win this man back, but it appears that you did the opposite – pushed him further away from you.
Please don’t let this option discourage you. Don’t give up on being blocked just because it might happen.
After all, you can’t always play it safe. Sometimes you have to take risks and do things that scare you.
What else can you do? You can bombard him with messages and calls and beg him to come back to you, but believe me – that would be the worst of all.
You would then not only lose him, but also your dignity. That is why every relationship expert advises you to keep the contact block despite all fears and worries.
What to do?
But what if he really forgets you? What if you really don’t get any feedback? When that happens, you have no choice but to just let go of him.
I’m sorry to disappoint you, but that means this man never really loved you, and he was never right for you either.
Let’s look at it this way: You’re better off without him.
It is time to take off your rose-tinted glasses and view this experience as a valuable lesson. You could have wasted even more time with someone who obviously doesn’t care about you.
It just had to happen that way. And trust me when I tell you that you were lucky in adversity.
So instead of sinking into self-pity, you should do something about your broken heart. Leave the past behind because it is obviously impossible to take this man back.
That being said, you should consider whether or not you want him back at all, given he hasn’t lifted a finger for you. He let you go with no resistance, and now it’s time you did the same to him.
How long does the contact block have to last for him to miss me?
Most men realize what they have lost after a few weeks at the latest – then they start to miss all sorts of things about you. But that doesn’t mean your ex will be in touch with you the first time they feel the loss.
It usually takes about a month (or even three months in some cases) for them to answer.
At first, he will probably fight it with all his might. He’ll wait for that feeling to go away.
Or maybe he’ll wait to see if you get in touch. Either way, in most cases you can expect the first reaction after a month at the earliest.
Believe me: the longer you are out of contact, the more he will yearn for you.
Pretty much every woman in the world wants to know how long it takes for a man to miss you. However, this question is not that easy to answer.
Please remember that this is not an exact science. This is just a description of how most men behave, but that is by no means a guarantee that your boyfriend will do the same.
If he still hasn’t contacted you after three months, you don’t need to get your hopes up, because he probably won’t contact you again.
How do you make a man miss you?
Aside from blocking contacts, there are of course other ways you can get your ex to miss you.
If you want to make a man miss you, here are some things you can do while blocking contacts:
• Show yourself at your best when you meet him (without showing how excited you are to see him again)
• Don’t post anything on the Internet (such as sad songs or quotes about missing someone)
• Enjoy your life to the fullest (throw yourself into new adventures and make sure that he notices)
Don’t forget that under no circumstances should you end the blocking of contacts prematurely. It doesn’t matter if it’s the guy’s birthday or if you just want to tell him something – no contact means no contact.
If you wonder if he will miss you if you don’t get in touch, keep this in mind: Most men are really little boys, no matter how old they are.
If their favorite toys are taken away from them, they are ready to do whatever it takes to get them back.
You have to let him fight for you, whether you like it or not. He really has to work to win you back – this is the only way you can keep his interest.