If it is not necessary to post the cover up, it is not up to you, is it possible to understand it? If you don’t know, can you rely on him? Do you want to do something about it?
Causes of doubt
Of course, trust is the most important foundation for a strong relationship. Only by trusting a man can you rely on him, open up to him, be yourself.
And the main thing – You Can Allow Yourself to be vulnerable, Knowing that it will not cause You suffering, will not betray, will not destroy your integrity and self-esteem. This is especially important if you are planning to have children.
But in itself, distrust appears for 2 reasons: either it is associated with real problems in relationships, or with problems in your worldview and attitude towards the world as a whole.
On the other hand, it is up to you concretely with this partner. You have already pushed into a situation where he made it clear that he cannot be relied upon.
Sometimes such situations are quite obvious, and sometimes it seems that doubts in a person appear from scratch. No this is not the case, it is not so easy to understand, it is possible to have it in the next few weeks in the partner.
In terms of the situation, which is provided for the following reasons:
- betrayal of a man;
- deceit, even in small things;
- when he did not keep his word, although he knew that it was important for you;
- if the partner let you down during a difficult period of time;
- did not provide help when he could provide it, although he saw that you needed it;
- avoided responsibility or making important decisions;
- he does not make concessions, does not consider your opinion;
- on where all the problems will be reclaimed from the wine near the house;
- devaluing the significance of any problem in the relationship.
Such situations, especially if they are repeated over and over again, lead to the feeling that this person cannot be relied upon. He did not become a support for you, because subconsciously you understand that everything falls on your shoulders.
Communicating with such a man, a woman experiences a feeling of loneliness, insecurity, Anxiety, because she is alone with her problems.
Even if a man did not betray your trust, but in the little things you notice that you cannot rely on him, rely on him, this quite reasonably causes you to doubt whether it is worth connecting your life with this person.
Speaking of other things: how to create or renew it?
How to act in such a case?
It is important to analyze your relationship. Think about how much relationships give you, and how much you yourself have to invest in them. If you feel distrust, then the problem is deeper than just “He did not pick me up from the airport, although I sat on him.”
This means that in these relationships the basic need of any person is not satisfied – the need for the need for the need for basicity.
Perhaps he himself does not understand how he acts, does not notice your doubts. Usually such behavior is the result of upbringing, in which parents put the child on a certain “pedestal” where he felt himself to be the center of the family.
Growing up, such people not only don’t know how to “share”, they don’t even realize that they are doing something wrong.
If a Man Really Loves You and Values Your Union, He will be ready to Change in order to save Him, to rethink his actions.
The first thing to do is to talk about your feelings and convey to your partner how important this is for you. In a conversation, it is important not to blame him, not to “drive him into a corner”, to be open and ready for a constructive dialogue.
Avoid generalizations such as “You always do this.” Give specific examples to get your point across.
It is also worth considering whether you are making concessions in a relationship or just need help from a man. However, they are not related to this, and all that is possible is that they are unacceptable. It happens that the behavior of a partner is just a reaction to your own behavior.
If you, after analyzing your relationship, could not find the specific reasons that led to this, then perhaps your doubts about a person have nothing to do with him. They are either the result of your negative experiences in previous relationships, or a basic mistrust of the world.
If this is the case, you need to pay for it:
- you find it difficult to meet new people;
- you never ask for help even from relatives and friends;
- when someone unfamiliar communicates with you, you always think what hidden motives he pursues;
- you at the beginning of a relationship, you assume that you may have to leave and plan “escape routes”;
- when you need to get close to another person, ask something from him or go through an interview, you initially tune in to a hostile attitude towards yourself;
- you subconsciously always assume the worst case scenario;
- you think that in this life you can rely only on yourself.
If you have many of these signs in your life, chances are that you have a basic mistrust of the world at large. Usually it is formed in childhood and is based on relationships with parents.
How to act in such a case?
Analyze your life and understand the reason for distrust of people. If it is about a relationship that ended in betrayal and had a traumatic effect on you, it is important to close this gestalt, to realize that now you are dating a completely different person.
Try to look at him critically and understand how many of his actions evoked a feeling of Trust in you, and how many, on the contrary, crossed him out. If you want to procure it, it is unreasonable and unreasonable. After all, it prevents you from building close relationships.
In the event that you want the data to be given by the shagom:
- always remind yourself that your doubts are not related to reality;
- when negative thoughts appear in your head, subject them to critical analysis;
- learn to rely on another person – just open up to him and see how he reacts to this, whether he responds, shows participation, whether he keeps his promises, etc.;
- ask for help from loved ones and help them yourself.
Doubts in relationships in women – is it normal?
The doubts that you experience are a signal from your subconscious, which wants you to understand something, change something in your life. The main thing is to correctly understand what this signal indicates.
Perhaps he suggests that you are next to a person who cannot be relied upon, who manipulates you, albeit in an unobvious way. Or he has already betrayed you, but does not try to make amends in any way.
If this is the case, then it is not necessary to procreate this.
Perhaps this signal is an echo of past relationships that you psychologically have not completed. Then you need to sort it out and put an end to it to start over with a clean slate with another person.
Or perhaps this is a signal that, in principle, it is difficult for you to trust people, then you need not to break off relations, but, on the contrary, with their help, learn to remove protections and get closer to the person you like.