Ghosting in psychology and its reasons: why men do not return? «Before you are there, you should be able to tell me, it’s not and I’m in front of you! Don’t let it go on my own and calls! What did I do wrong?!». By the way, you see it, you know how to do it, it’s not like that.
And the most disgusting thing in the situation is that the girl begins to blame herself. Look for the reasons for ignoring your behavior, qualities, and character. In This article will be an analysis of the reasons for this behavior of men and an explanation of why to worry in a sieve hotel.
Concepts of ghosting and post-stay
Pony “ghosting” is prosodic to English “ghost”, which means “program”. Ghosting is the act of ending a friendship or romantic relationship by ignoring it. Ghosting is referred to as a type of emotional violence since a person who was left in this way begins to “eat” his own his own. He feels a huge sense of guilt and engages in pernicious soul-searching.
If you have experienced ghosting, then thoughts such as “How could I offend him?” “What could he not like?”, “Probably because I talked a lot”, “I shouldn’t have told him this”, “He probably considered me no equal to her “And then the next.
This very often leads to such a distorted thought process as rumination, that is, obsessive thoughts. You don’t have to do anything about it, you have to be active and have fun.
In ghosting situations, it’s not your fault. Stop looking for reasons in yourself. A psychologically healthy person will never use ghosting.
He will find time and courage to explain himself to you. And to make it easier for you to realize this, let’s look at the reasons for the sharp disregard on the part of a man.
Personality types of men who practice ghosting in examples
As mentioned above, only mentally ill individuals choose the path of ghosting. In total, there are three types of men who practice ignoring. You are polezno and data, you are in the same place you are in, you are not there.
The poor and unfortunate victim
He did this because he was very scared. He was traumatized by a past relationship. Perhaps it was betrayal, misunderstanding, or psychological abuse from the former passion. The reason may be a difficult divorce or an unfinished relationship with an ex-wife.
Everything was fine between you, but he disappeared. And he felt sincere feelings. And began to appear attached to you. No matter how an unsuccessful experience weighs on him, a new love leads him to a numb fear. He starts to get anxious and runs.
He ignores you because he doesn’t know what to say. Agree, the phrase would sound very strange: “I’m in love with you, but I’m afraid to build a relationship with you.” This man understands that at a personal meeting he will again feel cravings and will not be able to tell you about the breakup.
Ghosting: why is he ignoring me?
Or when he writes to you about the desire to end the relationship, there is a fear of voicing the reason, because you are likely to ask a reasonable question: “What happened?” It is difficult for an adult man to answer this truthfully: “I’m just afraid.”
Situation example. Konstantin went through a difficult breakup. Caught my girlfriend in bed with my buddy. After that, Konstantin succumbed to countless one-time relationships.
And then a new employee, Alis, gets a job with him in a neighboring department. One afternoon they were talking. Alis called the interested party, the cost of the game was new on the coast, in the cinema, in the ring.
Alisa simply charmed Konstantin, he admired her intelligence and erudition. She seemed to him refined and beautiful. Intimacy with her brought some special joy. And this ill-fated moment, Konstantin realized that he had fallen in love.
And then he remembered how it hurts if his sincere feelings wipe his feet. On was afraid that Alice would do the same to him as her ex-girlfriend. And he blocked her on all social networks and instant messengers.
At work, he simply did not notice her. Act like you don’t know her. All the undertakings of the girl to start a conversation Konstantin sabotaged. Alice began to go crazy, unable to stand it, so she quit.
And what we have in the end: two unhappy people who could be happy. In such cases, a man needs to work out an anxious-avoidant type of attachment.
Oh, daffodils at the beginning of a relationship know how to powder their heads. Everything will be perfect, and then he will want an EMO functional swing. Narcissists often choose the “ignore-suddenly appear” tactic.
And in addition, narcissists completely lack empathy. They simply do not think about the fact that their manipulations can make a person feel bad. Or rather, even if it’s bad, so what? The main thing is that he is good.
Narcissus is not happy that his girlfriend does not cover all his needs and does not satisfy all his desires – this is a reason to Ignore. Why try and work on relationships if you can find new ones, where they will lick it?
The narcissist knows how to love and understand only himself, so this tactic of behavior is characteristic of him.
Situation example. “Finally, he paid attention to me!” – were the thoughts of Galina, who for several years was hopelessly in love with her friend’s cousin Kirill. The beginning of the relationship was like a fairy tale.
On the subject of Galina Kirill, it is called, and you may be on one of the major drugs. The young man did not consider it necessary to explain himself, he has a new passionate romance, as if not before. And Galina drove herself crazy with the thought of how she had offended Cyril.
And the story won’t end there. Since sometimes Cyril got bored, he reminded Galina of himself, spent a couple of days with her, and disappeared again. And all this time she tried to understand what was wrong with her.
The result is this: the girl has an anxiety disorder, but there’s nothing to say about the narcissist, psychotherapy has been crying for him for a long time.
Not of this world
It is not possible to say that it is two-dimensional. He is fatalistic, constantly talking about love, like in a classic novel or love drama.
And when this novel doesn’t go according to his script, he loses interest in it. “Means no luck!” he thinks. Or he was distracted by something more important and forgot about you. Such people often simply throw other people away, they lack the awareness that this can offend a person.
He lives in his fantasy world, which is far from reality. This can only be “understood and forgiven.” It is not out of malice or with some intent that he begins to use ghosting. It’s just that he is already in another universe where you didn’t have a place.
Situation example. Maryana works as an artist-restorer. A professional designation that puts Marian in English – uninspired in terms of the subject. The romance was passionate and stormy. They just couldn’t get enough of each other.
Egor told Maryana about how they would go hand in hand for years, conquering the world of art. Oh, you choose and you don’t have enough details. And of course, what a long and happy life they will have.
A potom Egor vnezapno propal, to kak hego pozvali vozglavlyat novyy project zagranite.
Men who practice ghosting sometimes return, but there is no guarantee that this will not happen again. Is it worth giving it a chance? You can try, but only with the first type of man, and then take into account the fact that he is ready to work on his anxiety-avoidant type of attachment.
Remember that if a man practices ghosting, it is not your fault. Problems with the lack of language, and not in You.