Yes your partner is cold and has trouble showing affection openly or connecting with you the way you’d like, even saying words of endearment, you may feel like you’re on an ice cube in a relationship.
Do you want to improve that? Read on to find out how to recognize the coldness of your partner and learn how to bring that warmth you seek into your love life.
The reasons why your partner may seem cold are many. Let’s see the most common: each one needs different actions in order to improve things.
From the personality of your partner, past experiences, failures in the relationship to more personal problems.
However, there are strategies that can help you with these situations.
For example, there is the article «Improve your relationship in 5 simple steps«, whose content would be very useful to you.
IS YOUR PARTNER COLD NOW?
This case is completely different and the most common.
Your partner had a different way of behaving: lovingly, warmly, closely. From one moment to another, coldness has appeared and is when your partner walks away.
In these cases, it is very likely that something important has happened. Be it in the relationship or in your personal life.
After a fight, after one of the two has failed at something, when the relationship is in difficult moments, it is very likely that in the time when things improve there is a bit of coldness.
It may be the way your partner takes his time to organize his ideas. Or it may be the way in which your partner gathers strength to keep trying despite exhaustion.
If this is your case, stay calm and think about the following:
- Even if there are problems or negative emotions, don’t let them affect communication. Good communication is the basis for everything to go well.
- Identify what has caused that change. Let your partner see that interest.
- Time plays a very important role. Do not despair and let him do his job.
- You can control how you overcome difficulties, but you cannot control how your partner overcomes them. Do not worry about something that is not in your hands.
- If you want things to get better and work together for it, think of ways you can show it and take action. Just keep in mind that you won’t be able to do it alone; it has to be between the two.
If after a great discussion coldness appears, it may seem like the end.
But luckily, there are the steps to reconcile after a fight.
IS YOUR PARTNER COLD BY NATURE?
If your partner has an introverted and very determined personality, these characteristics may be confused with coldness.
He gets lost in thoughts of how to solve problems, coming up with new things, analyzing the best way to reach a goal.
A person who usually spends a lot of time looking inward may seem disconnected.
It is clear that this can feel like coldness. Your partner may be someone with an intellect who likes to always be stimulated.
So much so that emotions can be left out of his view. Still, consider the ways your partner does show affection.
You may notice that he has proudly introduced you to a few people, but those people are the most important in his life.
Or that he has allowed you to catch a glimpse of parts of him that he has taken care that no one else sees. Things that he keeps to himself, very personal, but he has only shared with you.
The phrases he says are not the typical romantic phrases, but they are phrases that show how much you mean to him.
The best ways to act in these situations are:
- Acknowledge and appreciate their ways of showing affection.
- Seeks to understand his personality; state firmly what you want but be flexible to get it together. Always in a way that is comfortable for both of you.
- If there is something about his personality that you think affects the relationship, explain how you think a change would be good for both of you. Avoid complaining, scolding or blaming!
- To receive, you also have to give; he will be more encouraged to adapt to your way of giving affection if you try to adapt to his.
COLDNESS AS A DEFENSE
Sometimes coldness serves as a defense, creating emotional barriers that prevent someone from fully connecting.
This is not good. Why would someone do something like that? Simply to avoid being damaged again.
If your partner is cold about this situation, do not take it personally, remember that it is not about you.
Do not take it personally, that someone has this attitude as a couple does not always mean that this is part of the signs of the end of a relationship.
Bad experiences in past relationships and a person’s ability to learn from them are sometimes not enough.
This makes us have ways to avoid creating a bond with another person out of fear:
What if that person does the same?
Of course, the point is that just as the bad of the past is avoided, the opportunity to live the good in the present is also lost.
Even if it is not intentional, the simple idea of feeling pain again can put someone in that situation.
To know if your partner is cold because of past experiences, knowing a little about the way in which their previous relationships took place and ended can be useful.
In the same way, you should know that the relationship between a couple is always growing and has ups and downs, as the article on dialnet.unirioja.es says, so you cannot be discouraged.
It is necessary to continue inquiring and insist on communication.
So keep the following in mind:
- Listen carefully as he talks about his experiences. Whatever he lets you know about his story, listen carefully to get to know him as best you can.
- The best way to break down those walls is by showing that you offer something different. We’re human and we make mistakes, but if he sees that you try hard not to fail him like other people failed him, little by little those walls will come crashing down.
- Take care to objectively observe what you demonstrate. Even if you do something with an intention, think, “What am I showing?”
Correct what you notice may demonstrate the very experiences he wants to avoid.
We are human, so we are not without mistakes.
Many mistakes are common, so be careful not to make them if your partner has already had bad experiences with them.
In relation to this you can read the article «25 Mistakes Women Make That Ruin Relationships«. In it you will be able to identify if something is happening to you and perhaps it is affecting the relationship.
PERSONAL PROBLEMS: WHEN YOUR PARTNER TRIES BUT CAN’T
There are certain cases in which your partner is cold even when he does not want to be.
Even when he recognizes that his way of being can create a difficult relationship, he cannot help being that way.
For this it is good that you know what to do when he walks away.
Our mental and emotional health can become a bit complicated.
In fact, in the article on quadernsdepsicologia.cat, you can learn more about communication and mental health of the couple.
Depressive, mood, anxiety, substance abuse disorders, very personal problems that make emotions difficult, etc.
All of this can make it hard for your partner to show affection the way they want, even though they really want and try.
If he really is someone important to you and you recognize that you have the capacity to deal with it, give him all your support, he really needs it.
Guide your partner to seek support from a health professional, both for his improvement, as well as so that you have the necessary information to help him.
You will have the tools to tackle those problems together.
UNDERSTANDING AND COMMUNICATION: THE BEST REMEDY IF YOUR PARTNER IS COLD
You may have noticed that throughout this article, understanding what your partner is going through and communicating well is important.
Finally, the healthy couple communication It makes a big difference.
Taking care of this will not only prevent you from quickly wearing yourself out and making decisions that you may regret.
It will help you stay grounded to do what’s best for your relationship.
what a good couple relationship needs will always be understanding and communication.
They won’t fix everything, but they will lay the groundwork for making the best decisions for both of you.
Understanding your partner’s point of view and speaking clearly will allow you to be on the same page.
With both of you knowing where you are, where you want to go, and what you each want and expect, it’s much easier to work as a team to make things better.
Remember, too, that whenever your partner feels attracted to you, that coolness can fade.
Knowing the methods to make it so is as easy as taking a look at the following video or taking advantage of the Magnetic Desire Method: