How do I get him into a Committed Relationship? Full Guide

How do I get him into a Committed Relationship? Full Guide
How do I get him into a Committed Relationship? Full Guide

How do I get him into a Committed Relationship?

Do you have butterflies in your stomach and can you imagine more than just a brief flirtation with him?

But he loves his freedom and just doesn’t want to commit himself tightly? It does not have to stay like this!

I have also had this experience in the past and I know exactly how you feel. So now show you step by step how to wrap it around your finger and get it into a committed relationship.

So let’s start right away:

Can he imagine a relationship with me? 

There are both men and women who shy away from a steady relationship and do not want to commit. The reason for this is usually fears of having to give up one’s own freedom. With a few simple tips, you can find out how he feels about you, take his fears away, and get him into a committed relationship.

Have you almost given up hope of getting him into a steady relationship?

Then you should definitely read on now, because there are definitely ways to convince him of the opposite.

It is very important to understand why he does not (yet) want a steady relationship!

There are several reasons why he might not want to commit. Depending on the reason, it is worth fighting for it or not:

Why doesn’t he want to commit? Is it worth fighting for?
He just sees me as an affair. And how! Just an affair? Well, let’s see that first! On a physical level you are a dream team, create further similarities and give them no other option than to fall in love with you!
I’m just a good friend to him. Ok, in this case, sensitivity is required. Under no circumstances should you risk your friendship and proceed cautiously.
He’s still attached to his ex. Not an easy situation, but you definitely shouldn’t give it up so quickly! Be aware of the situation and be careful not to let it break your heart.
He has had bad experiences in the past. Definitely! Just because he may have had a girlfriend who was too clingy doesn’t make you the same! Let’s go, convince him otherwise!

You have had an affair so far and you get told by everyone that you can never get outside anyway? Not correct!

Because you already have a very big thing in common that connects you and gets along well in bed. Now it is time to create shared experiences outside of this situation and gradually bind him to you.

Touched 1,000 times, nothing happened 1,000 times.

Yes, we all know this song. And it can happen that a friendship turns into love! If you already have butterflies in your stomach and he still sees your good friend in you, you should proceed cautiously and not scare him off. Because in the worst case you will lose him as a friend, you have to be aware of this risk.

And what should you do if he is still thinking about his ex? Phew, this is not an easy situation … In no case should it happen that you are just a distraction for him in the long run, make that clear to him in any case! You are not the second choice, no, you are worth getting more from him than just the guarantee of a few nice hours. 

If they have had bad experiences in the past, they may need a little more time to build trust. Show understanding of his situation and make him realize that you are different!

He can let himself fall with you, enjoy the time with you, be happy and be completely himself! As soon as he really feels this, he will develop feelings that he cannot ignore.

When you are ready to fight for him, the next thing you need to find out is what he sees in you. Because if you know your role in his life, you can set the right course and bind him to you.

Affair, friendship, love? How does he feel about me?

What does he see in me? Am I just an acquaintance, an affair, or a good friend?

This question is perfectly legitimate and it is important that you ask yourself it right at the beginning. If you can classify the role you are currently playing in his life, then you can also take the appropriate steps to make more of it.

If you want to find out how he feels about you, it is very important that you look carefully to properly classify his signals.

Most of all, you will tell by his body language whether he has feelings for you. As a rule, he is not even aware of these signals himself, which is why he cannot hide them.

Pay close attention to his body language because it tells you how he feels about you.

You can tell by these signals that he feels more for you:

  • He looks at you longer and more intensely than you would with friends.
  • He is always looking for your closeness and touches you as if by chance.
  • Maybe he’s even a little silly around you.
  • What teases each other loves each other! Does that also apply to you?
  • He shows interest in you and your life.

Even if he may still defend himself against his feelings or he is even clear about what he is feeling, you will be able to get him into a stable relationship if you recognize one of the signals in him.

Give him time. But not too much!

Putting a person under pressure does not help at all, most of the time you actually achieve the opposite. So give him time to get involved with you and become aware of his feelings for you.

Emotions don’t arise overnight, they need time to grow.

Despite all patience, the current situation should of course not become permanent. You can imagine more and have a right to know if your hope has a chance. If he doesn’t want to commit himself at all, then you have no other choice: you have to shift down a gear.

Withdraw, don’t be available to him all the time, and wait and see how he reacts. In fact, if he doesn’t approach you, he may simply not return your feelings. Or maybe the opposite is the case and he is only now really aware of it!

It may be that this is the first time that the thought of being your boyfriend occurs to him! He will start to miss you and fight for you and nothing stands in the way of a committed relationship.

Take away his fears of a committed relationship!

Imagine if you had a relationship in the past that took your breath away. A relationship in which your partner has taken all space and your own life away from you. Not a nice feeling, is it?

Maybe he has felt the same way before and is therefore particularly careful. But there can be a thousand other reasons for his reluctance.

Perhaps it is a good idea to ask him carefully about his past relationships to find out what happened to him. Be sure to do this very carefully so that he doesn’t feel pressured!

Be sensitive and proceed cautiously!

If you know the reason for his reluctance, you have a chance to convince him otherwise! He has to feel that you are different and that he doesn’t have to worry about reliving the past.

Create common ground that connects you!

Do you have similarities or do you not have them? Not correct! Of course, it is perfectly right that you basically have the same interests or not.

BUT: It is quite possible to create a common ground that was not there before and that connects you.

Such similarities include, for example:

  • a hobby that you already have or are looking for
  • Journeys where you explore new places
  • the same taste in music

It doesn’t always have to be big fanfare, it’s better to start small. For example, plan a day trip for the next weekend and surprise him with it. He will remember such an experience!

No matter what it is, it creates a connection and thus trust.

A mutual group of friends also welds you together. If you’ve already met a couple of times, introduce him to your friends in a casual way.

The best thing to do is meet for a drink in a bar and just let him share in your friendship. This opens you up to him and shows him another side of yourself. He certainly appreciates the trust!

A woman’s weapons: cross your finger for good!

Finally, we come to the supreme discipline: You have to cross your finger! If you follow the steps below, he will have no chance of withdrawing from you.

This works best when you appeal to his subconscious. What? Yes, you’ve read that correctly. For you, it is best if he realizes for yourself that the two of you belong together. He must realize that you are a desirable woman that he should not miss!

You are a desired woman, so let yourself be conquered.

1. Have (for now) no expectations of him and your relationship.

Do not take old burdens with you into your new relationship, but be open and enjoy your time together. If you expect him to ensnare you according to all the rules of the art, it will only scare him off. He gets the feeling that he’s just a means to an end and you don’t really care about him as a person.

But if he feels that you are relaxed and without expectations, he can really get involved with you too. Because every man wants a self-confident woman who is absolutely at peace with herself.

2. Create depth through common interests.

If you have already found something in common, it is important to expand it now. Only then will your relationship become profound and go beyond the usual everyday conversations. It has to be something where neither of you compromises, but something that both fulfills and gives you joy.

3. You melt in his arms. 

Huh? You already have an affair and you want more than that right now! Right. I don’t mean your bed story either, but touches on everyday life.

Signal to him that even small touches, like a gentle hug, touch you, that you are enjoying yourself. And only he can trigger these feelings in you!

If you follow these steps, he will soon realize that your relationship is more than just an affair. He will find you so attractive that there is no way he will risk losing you to another man. And there is only one way to do this: Right: He will get involved in a relationship with him.

You know what you want and that’s exactly what you tell him!

If none of this has helped, we have to become really clear and no longer give him the opportunity to evade. He has the choice of getting a wonderful wife as a steady partner, what more does he want?

1. Be aware of your own worth!

He is very lucky that he has received your time, your attention, and maybe your body so far. Without any obligations.

Now you just want what you deserve because you deserve to be loved!

2. Openly tell him what you want.

Men find women who know what they want to be incredibly alluring and attractive. So don’t be a shy mouse and tell him what you want from him in the future. So far it has been perfectly fine how your relationship has turned out. But now emotions are involved!

If he takes time to think about it, that’s perfectly fine. But until the situation between you is resolved, you must withdraw to protect yourself.

3. Give him the reins!

After you have openly communicated your feelings, it is time to make it very clear to him that you would like to give him the time and space to let everything go through his head. Make it clear to him, however, that your bed story will have a break for that long!

In addition, of course, you cannot guarantee that you will not run into anyone else during this time … How quickly do you think he can suddenly decide for you!

Let’s sum it up again:

Tell him that you have really enjoyed your time together and show him that you appreciate it.

You like him very much, but now you need more for yourself and you can no longer give him what you have given him so far. Now he has the choice to make a decision.

This also gives him freedom and doesn’t put the gun on his chest straight away, dear men! Still, make it clear to him that you won’t wait forever for him.

Similar questions

How do I get him to contact you?

If you’ve always been the one who contacted him first after a date, then from now on just turn the tables. He must have the opportunity to miss you and that is only possible if you withdraw a little.

Plan activities with your friends and enjoy your life to the full without them. Believe me, he’ll get back to you faster than you think!

How do I make him love me? 

When you notice that it’s not just you who have butterflies in your stomach, but that he too has feelings for you, it’s time to get serious: a loving turtle should become love.

Make sure you have a good time seeing each other and create common ground. Show him how much he means to you, but don’t run after him. Be open-minded and self-confident and above all just be yourself! As with almost everything in life, finding the right balance is important.

How do I get him to miss me?

First, always think of yourself and focus again on the things and people around you that are important to you. Treat yourself to a wellness day or a short trip with your best friend.

You will automatically gain self-confidence and become more attractive and interesting for him! Do not always be available to him and under no circumstances run after him!

As soon as he notices that he is not your number 1 in every situation, he will automatically think of you and miss you.


If you’ve had an affair up to now and you are now at a point where you feel more for him, then don’t wait any longer, take your luck into your own hands.

Find out how he feels about you, be aware of your own worth, and wrap it around your finger.

If you do this carefully and cleverly, he will fight for you on his own and desire nothing more than a committed relationship with you.

Are you having an affair with a man who just doesn’t want to commit? By what means would you like to try to get him into a committed relationship?

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