How do I get my ex back even though I broke up?

How do I get my ex back even though I broke up?
How do I get my ex back even though I broke up?

To draw a line is not easy. Usually, a long path of suffering precedes it.

You realize that you don’t fit together that well after all, or you just drifted apart.

Ending a relationship is usually a break in the air. You can go new ways and reorient yourself.

But what if you find yourself missing your ex? Can you make up for the mistake And how do you get your ex back even though you broke up?

Step-by-step instructions – how to get your ex back?

Everyone has made a decision in their life that they regret in retrospect. It can also happen that you break up and then realize that it was a mistake.

Nothing is final and you have a chance that you should take. If you don’t, you may regret your life not trying.

Our greatest weakness is giving up. The surest path to success is always to try again.

Thomas Alva Ediso

1. Root cause research

If you’re honest with yourself, there was at least one good reason you broke up. It is therefore important that you reflect on the reasons that led to it.

  • Why did I want the breakup?
  • What problems could we not solve?
  • Did I mention things that bothered me?
  • Was it just him or did I do my part? Men are also vulnerable.


Answer the above questions in writing. Write down exactly what made you break up.

A separation usually includes TWO. Be honest with yourself and also state your mistakes.

Evaluation of the root cause research

What behaviors made you break up? What were the reasons?

Now you can think about how you – or you – should deal with problem situations in the future. You should also make a note of this so that you can always remind yourself of it.

Examples with solutions:

Insults in quarreling situations

Verbal attacks are very hurtful and leave a mark. With every new argument, the old injuries come up again.

A mutual agreement to which both of them adhere helps here. One of the two leaves the room or even the apartment. You give yourself the time to go back down and discuss in the evening what the problem was.

Make sure that there are no more extreme situations. The faster either of you gets out of the situation, the smaller the risk that the abuse will get out of hand.

No room for privacy

As a couple, you naturally spend a lot of time together. Even if you enjoy doing this, you shouldn’t forget yourself.

Consciously plan activities without the partner. Everyone should have time for themselves, for example, to read a good book or to pursue their hobby. Girls ‘or boys’ evenings are also a nice change

Not listening – communication

Only those who listen properly can be of good support to their partner. Unfortunately, this is often lost in everyday life and in the evening you bum around on the couch next to each other.

What is said is confirmed with a nod or “hmmhmm”, but in the end, you didn’t even notice what the partner said at all.

Listen carefully to one another! How was the day, what are the future plans? Start a conversation. So both feel taken seriously and important again.

2. Strategy

To get your ex back even after you broke up, you should stay calm first. Don’t break anything above the knee and go step by step!

Get in touch

You broke up and you want him back. So it is your responsibility and you have to take the first step towards him.

Tips for making initial contact

  • Write him a message
  • Ask if it’s okay if you text him
  • Offer to make a phone call

If he still has feelings for you, he will answer you. If he has any questions, answer them, but avoid blaming.

Don’t be sad if it is initially locked. He’s still hurt and can’t tell if you’re actually serious.

Don’t press him, but write or call him every now and then. As soon as you have regained some trust in each other, take your chance and arrange a meeting for an open conversation

Pronunciation – your chance!

You managed. Your ex has agreed to a discussion meeting! This is your chance to convince him that you regret breaking up and that you can give him explanations.

meeting point

It is best to meet in a neutral place. It can actually be a quiet café or a bench in the park.

It has been proven that with the home advantage you tend to be confronted more quickly. Therefore, avoid meeting at your home.

There is always a risk that blame will lead to an argument. In the worst case, the “visitor” leaves the other person’s apartment before you can say what you want


The day has come and your debate is due. Yes – that’s just as exciting as the first date. If not much worse.

Because on the first date you have nothing to lose, you can only win.

When trying to win your ex back, you have unfortunately already lost once. Therefore, in addition to excitement, there is also fear.

True to the motto…

Who dares Wins!

… you should be in good spirits and approach the matter positively.

  • relax and take a bath before the meeting
  • dress nicely and appropriately (he can see that you are still a beautiful woman)
  • take another look at your analysis of your cause research and think about how you would like to formulate it in the conversation.


Don’t let that unsettle you if the greeting is a little cool. It’s a difficult situation for both of you. Probably a bit worse for him, after all, you’ve ended the relationship.

Remember – you are here today to convince him that you want him back! In order to regain your ex’s trust, it’s up to you to provide credible and conclusive explanations.

Important: stay self-confident and stand by your decision! Likewise to the decision that you want a second chance for yourself.

You should consider the following things during your conversation:

  • tell him why you wanted this meeting. You would like to have another chance for yourself!
  • explain what triggers were responsible for breaking up with him
  • also reflect on the mistakes you made
  • use I-formulations: I felt left alone / avoid sentences as You left me alone
  • listen to his arguments and let him finish
  • State why you think you can do better in the future
  • apply strategies from your root cause research
  • tell him what you still appreciate about him

Scenarios and solutions

He’s giving you a second chance

Your ex was already hoping there would be a second chance for your relationship. Your conversation went well and he wants to try again.

That’s just wonderful – use the new beginning!

He needs time to think about it

Good things take time

You had a pleasant conversation. He would like to let everything go through his head and asks for time to think it over.

That is completely legitimate and understandable. So give him the time he wants.

You shouldn’t press him any time soon. But show him that you are serious. Just call or text him at regular intervals. Inquire about his health and show interest in him as a person.

He will certainly still have questions that you should answer quickly so that no further uncertainties arise.

You will see – as soon as he is sure that you really mean business, there will be a fresh start for you.

He wants to hold on to the separation for the time being

Yes – in the worst case, his feelings are so badly hurt that he can currently no longer imagine a relationship.

But don’t worry – the last word has not yet been spoken here!

He just needs time to let everything sink in. He is insecure and confused. He can’t put aside the hurt feelings yet.

Just leave it that way for the moment and get back to him in three to four. Your chances are still good. You ended the relationship he didn’t want to end! His feelings for you can’t just be gone.

3. The second chance

Yes! – Your efforts have paid off. You are a couple again, the butterflies are back and you look confidently into the future.

Good luck and congratulations!

Work continuously on your relationship and keep reminding yourself of which mistakes you don’t want to make anymore.

Respect each other, give yourself space and enjoy your time together. So nothing stands in the way of a happy future.

Similar questions – How do I get my ex back?

He broke up – how do I get him back?

To be abandoned is a very painful business. If you want a second chance from him, you have to give him time. Show him that you can change and awaken new feelings in him.

I want to break up and don’t dare to tell him.

When you’ve grown apart and are no longer in love, the separation is very close. Of course, you don’t want to hurt him, after all, you had a great time together. Unfortunately, there is no right moment for this. But it’s only fair that you tell him as soon as possible. He doesn’t deserve to be played – even if it’s difficult for you.


As quickly as a relationship develops, it can also be over again. Oftentimes, wrong habits and behaviors contribute to this. Unfortunately, we quickly forget which characteristics we find great in our partners and focus on the supposed mistakes.

The memories of the good times come back at the latest when the relationship is over. And yes – everyone can make mistakes and make wrong decisions!

Do you want a second chance? Then take the initiative and fight for it. It’s never too late to straighten something

How did you get your ex back? And what mistakes would you not make again today?

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