How is Betrayal Manifested? Why Do People Cheat? How is betrayal manifested? Where is the starting point after which it can be said with certainty that a person “went to the left”? It is much easier to prevent infidelity if you know its psychology. And having learned the typical signs of a windy personality, you can avoid an unpleasant acquaintance, knowingly relieving yourself of stress on the love front.
What is the reason?
Cheating is a loss of fidelity, a betrayal of the feelings of a loved one or the interests of a group (and more) of people. However, the scope of its definition is rather blurred.
Can a guy who is in a relationship and occasionally views pornography be accused of cheating? Can a situation in which a wife flirts with other men to increase self-esteem be considered cheating? Or is infidelity just physical contact? And again: is a kiss with another partner a betrayal or not?
More often, adultery means sǝx on the side. However, the boundaries of treason are determined by every person individually. That is why it is better to immediately discuss this topic in any relationship. And now some numbers:
- 75% of men and 45% of women cheat on regular partners. This statistic often fluctuates, which proves that not everyone confesses (even incognito);
- every 10th child does not grow up with a biological father (and does not always know about it);
- if a person suspects his partner of cheating, the chance that this is true is 85%;
- 55% of guys deny real cheating, even if they are “backed to the wall” and the evidence is obvious;
- girls cheat more often when they are aged 25-34. The main reason is dissatisfaction with sǝxual life;
- 84% of husbands and 68% of wives would cheat on their spouses, provided that they never knew about it.
Isn’t that an impressive statistic? Open relationships seem to be the norm for many, especially given the modern way of life. Some do not consider oral sǝx a betrayal. Some do not consider sǝxual intercourse with a person of the same sǝx as a “leftist trip”.
All these points of view have the right to exist. However, when entering into a new relationship, it is better to immediately make sure that your views on this issue coincide with the opinion of your beloved. Yes, just in case.
How is Betrayal Manifested? Why Do People Cheat?
Types of changes.
1. Physical and moral.
Determining the scope of the first is much easier. And yet even it is not always unambiguous. Physical contact happens at different levels. It could be:
- too long touches (protracted hugs, holding hands);
- touching intimate points (from knees, buttocks, chest to genitals);
- kisses (on the lips, neck, stomach, sometimes even on the hand or cheek);
- petting, frankly exciting movements;
- oral caresses;
- standard intimate.
With moral infidelity, none of this may happen. The partner will always come home on time, and he will never smell someone else’s perfume. However, a key change will take place in his head and thoughts – he will put the other person higher than the one with whom he is paired. Will admire him more.
In the case of moral betrayal, the matter does not necessarily concern the love and sǝxual sphere. The guy will say that the boss’s wife cooks better, and his girlfriend will leave, slamming the door. Or, for example, a spouse, in a fit of a quarrel, will reproach the missus for the fact that their neighbor’s earnings are much higher. And that’s it. She did not appreciate her husband and his skills, reproached, compared. For some, this is already a serious betrayal.
2. Random and purposeful.
The latter is easier to explain. The main thing in its implementation is the desire and readiness for action. That is, the traitor deliberately runs the risk of being caught, insulting the one who trusts him, ruining his reputation – his own and that of others as well.
Such adultery is considered for days, weeks, months, and even years. And they can decide on it spontaneously simply because the situation turned out to be suitable or a suitable pretext appeared.
Accidental betrayal occurs more often in the heat of passion. The experiences of the traitor after it acquires one of the following characters:
- “I shouldn’t have done this. I feel guilty and want to forget about it as soon as possible. It was an accident that will never happen again.”
- “I made a mistake, but I can be justified. It is unlikely that I will ever repeat this, although everything happens in life.
- “I don’t regret what happened. If you return everything back, you still would have done the same, because it was worth it.
- “I liked it and I want to repeat it over and over again. If the opportunity presents itself, I will immediately decide on such a step.
Paradox. On the one hand, any betrayal is bad, on the other hand, it also helps to recognize oneself and manifest what was unconsciously suppressed. That is why stories are repeated in which an exemplary spouse suddenly goes on a protracted spree. Although after such an act, a person may well behave honestly, tell his partner about everything and terminate the relationship/marriage, or sincerely ask for forgiveness.
How is Betrayal Manifested? Why Do People Cheat?
How is it possible to change “accidentally”? Isn’t the choice always left to the traitor himself? Examples of non-special treason:
- rape, sǝxual intercourse due to serious blackmail, coercion;
- sǝxual intercourse under the influence of narcotics or psychotropic substances (alcohol – in the same category);
- a state of passion, when emotions and instincts completely suppress reason and adequacy;
- hypnosis. Perhaps mysticism (who believes) like a love spell or corruption;
- understatement in the relationship (one thinks that they are still together, and the other that they broke up).
Another category of situations causes bitter laughter, because the partner has changed, because … mixed up. Believe it or not, such cases are also true. “It was dark there, and he/she looks so much like you.”. If everything happens unintentionally, then the truth is revealed in the middle of the road: “And then I realized (a) that this is not your voice/demeanor/height/parameters/moles “. As a rule, under such circumstances, no one comes to sǝx itself. However, there are exceptions everywhere.
3. Single and systematic.
“If you change it once, you will change it again” – a myth. Adultery can happen once and never be repeated. Because the man realized his mistake. Or he didn’t like hiding, hiding the truth. Or simply was not with anyone, the opportunity did not turn up.
The fact is that traitors do not always commit betrayal a second time. Depends on the type of person and his environment.
And here it is definitely impossible to change a systematic traitor. No other partner, even the most ideal, or true love, or even a personal desire to remain faithful, will save him from fornication. This type of people is not created for strong trusting relationships. He is content either with a free union, or does not burden himself with it at all. In marriage, he cheats, cheats, and then cheats again. Which, however, does not prevent him from regretting it, loving his spouse, and looking at him through the eyes of a beaten dog.
How is Betrayal Manifested? Why do People Cheat?
4. By the level and status of relationships.
- matrimonial – adultery in marriage (sometimes in a civil marriage or at the engagement stage).
- love – infidelity in any type of romantic relationship.
- friendly betrayal of a friend or group of friends. Causing them moral (sometimes physical) harm or going over to the side of enemies.
- Ideological – betrayal of oneself and like-minded people, which consists in a retreat from a specific way of thinking. It often occurs with insecure people with a weak, too pliable character.
- State – a large-scale legal crime in which a person causes damage to his country, often in favor of another state.
Why do people change?
According to the scientific works of diversified psychologists, the reasons for instability in the face of temptation are:
- dissatisfaction in relationships, lack or, conversely, an overabundance of the qualities of a partner or some events in the life of a couple (including boredom, quarrels, remorse “he/she is ideal, I am not up to it”);
- the desire to “do it out of spite”, the thirst for revenge. Hence the problem of the inability to speak, to solve problems in an adult way, infantilism;
- “cage effect” or fear of attachment. Works in two directions. “Serious relationships, marriage is a prison. I don’t want to feel like a prisoner”. Or “What if they leave me? I’m afraid to be alone, I’ll find a backup option – it’s calmer this way. ”.
Oddly enough, but an affair on the side can save relationships for a long time. For example, a person has sincere feelings about his family, does not want to lose her. However, he clearly lacks new sensations or outlets. He finds all this on the side and lives contentedly for himself. Nervous, apprehensive, but satisfied.
Even one-time connections, for all their inhumanity, are sometimes beneficial. A person feels attention on himself, an increase in tone, strength, begins to look better, like himself outwardly. The routine is interrupted by one bright burst of emotions that persists for a long time. The mood of the traitor is reflected in the household even after the end of the extramarital affair – dinners become tastier, and the nights become hotter.
However, this is by no means a call for betrayal, because they always leave the risk of disclosure, which means pain, disappointment, and tears.
How is Betrayal Manifested? Why do People Cheat?
Signs of a traitor.
1. Psychological.
Pathologically incorrect people often have characteristic features. It is enough to take a closer look at the character of a friend – and it will be easy to find out whether he belongs to the category of windy persons.
Typical traitors are most often:
- insecure individuals, dependent on the approval of others. Have low self-esteem, need attention;
- selfish, dismissive of other people’s feelings. They believe that there is nothing super terrible in infidelity and can easily justify it. True, only if it is about their treason. If they are cheated on, they fly into a rage, completely ignoring their own blunders;
- unstable persons with a poorly formed “I”. Their willpower is either weak and suppressed, or completely absent. Easily influenced.
Addicts to alcohol are also often in the “risk group”.
2. Behavioral.
If a partner cheats, changes are noted in his behavior. How they appear:
- coldness, alienation, isolation, thoughtfulness, a state of “trance”;
- the desire to look better, use perfumes and cosmetics, clothes that emphasize the pluses of the figure;
- in women – the cessation of home cooking or a clear unwillingness to such an occupation;
- strengthening hygienic personal care (frequent showering, use of cream-gels for intimate areas);
- increased irritation at the sight of the mistakes of a spouse or permanent partner. Carping, ridicule, often in public;
- loss of sǝxual interest. Although at first, it may even intensify, it’s too early to rejoice – most likely the partner represents someone else.
It is worth noting that signs, as a rule, do not come one by one. If there are only one or two signs, this may indicate another problem. Also, if a partner initially behaved like this (for example, he is just an introvert and always “on his mind”), this does not mean that he is cheating.
Change does not always manifest itself as a point of no return. Sometimes it acts as a symptom, paying attention to which you can save the relationship from breaking up. And yet, regardless of its kind, infidelity hurts. That is why it is much easier to arrange in advance the “prevention” of adultery or bypass the windy person than to disentangle the consequences.
How is Betrayal Manifested? Why Do People Cheat?
