How is falling in love different from friendship with a man? When a man and a woman form a kind of tandem, a union, a small warm coalition, some still incomprehensible “mix” of 2 partners, go figure out what it is between them: friendship or love.
To dissect the dilemma: is friendship between the female and male sex possible at all without tricks of the type: one loves, the other is friends, is not our task today. Articles on this topic, if the issue is acute, look on the pages of our publication, we have written about this more than once.
Involuntary bans on love
The purpose of this investigation is to learn to identify what it is that has come into your life: a long-awaited romantic relationship or the beginnings of a “brother” plus “sister” company that has decided in earnest to become a support and shoulder for each other in a strong, sincere friendship.
In this niche there are quite a few interesting scientific works, among which the works of Teresa Didonata stand out.
It is she who is promoting the axiom with might and main: become a good friend for the chosen one, and then love is just around the corner, and there will be less disappointment that everything has come to a sad ending so quickly. Best friends, in her opinion, are more likely to become happy allies in a successful, promising business.
We will have to reduce your ardor in this matter, in the sense that you should not urgently rush to sculpt a spouse and father of future children from a good old friend, even if you have long been hopelessly alone in this regard. Not so simple and trivial, so that it is possible to say that it is in the first place.
Subsequent to the chambers that may occur in the intimate space. The girl is great, you yourself understand, there is in our box the second never suvt sexy pt. Something imperceptibly insistent repels from a step to rapprochement.
It seems that everything is normal with them: appearance, character, desire to be gentle and affectionate, but even the thought of greater intimacy turns up in the soul, the body imposes a physiological taboo, you can’t do anything about it – and that’s the point, it’s not even discussed.
In fairness, we cannot fail to recall another amazing observation: former lovers, if, breaking off relations, did not run away like sworn enemies, but parted intelligently, without mutual claims, often become excellent friends for the rest of their lives.
The friendship between a man and a woman: is it possible?
How is “love” different from “friendship” with a man?
- the grain of kind and warm communication between people in both cases is sincere respect, admiration for the successes of one’s counterpart, career and personal achievements, a general “portrait” of a person as a holistic, decent, faithful, reliable nature;
- quite understandable craving for each other, the desire to do something together, to see each other, communicate, discuss, listen and hear, share sadness or joy at certain moments;
- trust is almost beyond the bounds of possible, generally accepted tolerances and, as a result, incomparable spiritual closeness, when you are ready to open your heart and soul wide open to this person, share the most hidden secrets, speak frankly about what you think and how you react to life situations;
- support in “grief and joy” without unnecessary criticism, unnecessary assessments, moralizing and advice, the desire to learn to accept a companion as he already is, which as a result increases his self-esteem and contributes to further development in the future;
- the pleasure of being together no matter where, no matter under what circumstances offered at the moment, to understand each other almost perfectly, to look at the world with similar eyes in the sense that they perceive it in close evaluation criteria;
- sacrifice with a light heart, when they cover an embrasure in the name of a partner, gives way to the right, opportunity, chance, prospect for the benefit of a loved one without any doubt.
With all these simple “measures” of the degree of feelings, you can always verify the level of affection of people for each other, but it is absolutely impossible to make an unambiguous verdict: these two are in love, and these are only friends. So, my inquisitive researcher, you and I will have to dig even deeper.
Differences between friendship and love with a man
The crowning achievement of the type of relationship between “Love” and “Friendship” is, of course, the making of a man and a woman in love, dating in bed with intimate joys, but even here there is a hole in the “old woman”. In modern times, “friendship sex” has become fashionable: you come, fall in love for an hour or a night, and tomorrow nothing personal, only.
As for the other division between romance and camaraderie, which is very clear here, it is:
- psychologist Caryl Rasbalt argues that love is a conscious step towards even greater rapprochement, burdened with a number of new obligations, a kind of stability that may not be present in friendship for a short time, but should always be in love;
- bilateral responsibility for the couple as a whole with all the ensuing consequences: living together, having offspring, working on oneself and relationships;
- power and influence on a companion in a love union is much higher than in any even the oldest and strongest friendship;
- in the era of falling in love, and even then, during the transition to the stage of “confident” love, people do not get tired of idealizing each other, they are fascinated, bewitched, they know well what a sweet haze is, which does not give a chance to criticize the object of attention, friendship quickly frees from “pink” illusions ;
- 2 “halves” in love voluntarily or involuntarily have common tasks and goals, to fulfill and solve which they rush with obvious enthusiasm, friends can be largely similar in their passions, but be absolute antipodes in achieving the goal, and even aspirations to have in various objects and in the name of “galaxies”;
- captives of romance steadily strive to give each other as much time and attention as possible, get bored at the slightest separation, try to “hurt” the chosen one with a phone call, SMS, letter, any possible means of communication, having learned that everything is tip-top, his “comrade-in-arms” can safely disappear for a long time without moral losses;
- people in love for each other, like a “dope”, like a mood tranquilizer, like a neighboring link in a common chain, like a sweet ingredient in a cocktail of passion, friends do not have such an emotional, almost “drug” interdependence with a friend, albeit for the most intimate interests.
- You will be surprised, my attentive friend, but hearts in love often use the pronoun “we” in conversation, and friends always “walk on their own”, like a cat from the famous work of Rudyard Kipling and prefer to say “I”.
Our list of observations will seem complete to you, and we will be glad if you can. Perfection has no limit, and the couple’s personal experience ϕ may be able to arrange their own.