How long does the pain go after a breakup and why it needs to be lived? As the beautiful Selena Gomez sang: “I know a million reasons to break up with you, but you can’t command your heart.” At all times, poets and musicians compared parting with a small death: you can no longer touch the once beloved person, or talk to him. You physically feel how fragments of the heart pierce the Lungs, and you literally suffocate alone, but you can’t stop thinking about it.
Sooner or later, the acute pain and shock pass, and you begin to wonder if it is possible to survive the breakup. New York-based mental health, family, and marriage experts Todd Baratz and Rachel Wright believe grief doesn’t last forever, and there are ways to help yourself.
7 ways to get over a breakup
- Don’t try to forget your loved one as soon as possible.
You are afraid that you will forever be left with a broken heart, but this is not so. So you’re tired of it.
Dive into a new relationship when feelings for the former have not gone away, it’s like going to the gym with a broken arm: you can do exercises for other muscle groups, you can wear loose clothes and hide this fact from the coach, but you will not deceive yourself. You will get even worse. So let everything take its course.
- Don’t blame yourself for hurting you.
Each person has their own recovery period. Let your girlfriend, a week after breaking up, leave for the Maldives with a new boyfriend, it’s okay that t. lock yourself in and watch movies with Reese Witherspoon while fighting depression with pistachio ice cream.
- Take up new hobbies.
Rachel Wright believes that there is nothing worse than doing the same thing day after day. Are you talking about it? Work, gym, household chores.
It’s time to expand your horizons. Sign up for master classes in cooking, knitting, embroidery. The moment you engage fine motor skills, your subconscious mind analyzes the situation from a different angle, and the breakup stops feeling like the end of the world.
- Consciously plan your time.
The relationship is over, but your life doesn’t stand still. You can spend years suffering, and this rascal won’t even know about it. Set a deadline when you can afford to pour tears into your pillow without remorse.
How to survive a difficult breakup?
On the other hand, it is possible to do this in the winter, to fight on some new products, and to have it in the house. “Doing Nothing” Won’t make you Better or stronger, you just waste your time on insignificant things and get no results.
- Don’t suffer alone.
In order to resist the temptation to call him after drinking a bottle of wine alone, surround yourself with loyal girlfriends who would rather shoot you than let you do it. It’s good to be alone with your feelings for a while, but you can’t isolate yourself from loved ones for a long time. Accepting help and support correctly is also a useful skill to master.
- Get to know your new self.
Many people, entering into a relationship, forget about their interests and needs. Doing everything together is a natural desire, but then it turns out that time for yourself is a luxury that you cannot afford.
Do what you have long wanted, but could not afford or what the ex-boyfriend did not allow. Include obligatory dates with you in your busy schedule: soak in the bath with an interesting sadsi nabo.
- Stop following the canons, how to and how not to behave after parting.
If you are ready to meet men and go on dates, allow yourself this. Putting on mourning and locking up at home is not an option. There will still be people who will judge you. For them, you always suffer wrong: sometimes too little, then it’s time to stop.
Todd Baratz Reminds that it is useful for a woman to feel desired and remember that failures on the love front are not endless. You will definitely meet a person who will appreciate you.