Understand a person of the opposite sex sometimes their faith is difficult. It is possible to eat it, it is on the subject of the drug thinks, experiences, on the experiences other emotions. And it’s not always easy to put yourself in the place of a man to figure it out.
What does a man feel after cheating on his wife? Does he always repent and why sometimes this does not happen? Do you think that it is not possible to do that, that it is on the floor, that it is not in the building?
How men behave after infidelity and how they feel?
Cheating always causes a violent reaction in the person who commits it.
Strictly speaking, the reason for many betrayals is not sexual desire, but the desire to experience emotions that they do not receive in marriage: adrenaline, novelty, passion, a sense of their sexuality, demand, attraction.
But, in addition to all this, a person who has cheated on his soulmate is faced with a number of negative experiences that come in 3 stages.
A man who has committed adultery first experiences a surge of adrenaline, which aggravates all feelings and sensations, leads to a state of emotional excitement, but this is followed very quickly by the fear of being caught.
Even if the decision to change appeared due to disappointment in marriage, a person is still not going to leave his wife, because she is part of his usual lifestyle, his comfort zone. And he’s not ready to lose her.
Therefore, after betrayal, for a long time he is accompanied by the fear that she will find out everything and then destroy their relationship:
- the man begins to think if someone could see him with the other;
- whether he “got caught” on the messages on the phone, whether he gave himself away in any other way;
- thinks out an “alibi” for himself in case of claims;
- thinks about how he will maintain a relationship if the truth is revealed.
Stage of remorse
As much as it is in the skin, on the emotional side, it is necessary to depress the muscles. He watches his wife, who does not suspect anything, and he has a feeling of guilt.
The man remembers how their relationship began, nostalgia appears, he thinks about this good thing that exists between him and his wife. For the wine, it is necessary to say that it is in the post, on the picture and in the community.
Living with guilt is hard enough, so a man begins to strive to ease his conscience, sometimes he even has thoughts in order to confess everything, get “punished”, but stop being tormented by moral doubts.
Physiological prices of people and women and women
Not all husbands are really ready to risk their marriage and confess everything, so they cope with guilt in other ways:
- justify and rationalize their act – and he convinces not his wife, who does not suspect anything, but himself;
- devalue the fact of betrayal – pretend that it does not mean anything, that it was just a casual connection;
- on the contrary, they attach more significance to the fact of treason – they will try to convince themselves that it was necessary that way, that this is liu;
- they blame someone else for their act – the woman who seduced him or the wife who does not pay attention to him;
- Gifts and care for his wife – A man becomes more attentive, tries to please his wife in order to ease his conscience and make amends.
After that, a feeling of calm usually sets in and psychological comfort returns. But it is important to understand that even if a man experienced pangs of conscience after infidelity, this does not mean that he will never do this again.
The rise and fall of self-esteem
Upon learning of the betrayal, the wife’s self-confidence and self-esteem may decrease, because there is an unpleasant feeling that the beloved man preferred another woman to her.
However, the wife usually does not think that the man also begins to experience problems with self-esteem, which is associated with
Increasing the level of self-esteem
Usually at the very beginning, when betrayal is just happening, self-esteem rises. Since he is asserting himself in his masculinity, being in demand, he proves to himself that he can still win love.
This feeling is reinforced by the behavior of the mistress, because with her it’s like on a first date – she laughs at his jokes, looks at him with admiring, loving eyes.
No such thing is done in that moment, so that you can see the effects of the sun and the sun. Rational character, which is called by the ponyati “хорошо” and “плохо”, наоборот, активизируется.
The inner critic turns on, which begins to shame the man, and throws him thoughts about the “terrible” consequences. This causes a feeling of anxiety, uncertainty in the future, makes you doubt yourself.
Such experiences negatively affect the level of self-esteem of a man, especially if the wife still finds out about his betrayals. On immediately becomes a person on whom his future does not depend, because psychologically all power passes to wives.
She decides to forgive him or not, save the marriage or expel him to his mistress. More than that, that is in the room, on the automatic word of the privileges and the wind in the house.
It is even difficult for many Men in such a role to justify themselves, because now A priori does not deserve Trust, Ago opinion does not mean anything. This can go on for quite some time.
The desire of a woman during this period is understandable – she needs satisfaction. No it is on a plane that says, it is necessary to say that “scapegoat” and the marriage is finally broken.
Or he, continuing to endure humiliation, again goes on treason, just to try to somehow increase. Life turns into a vicious circle where he cheats, she forgives him, he makes amends, and then betrays again.
And in order not to fall into this circle, it is important that both spouses stop, try to realize first their own feelings, and then put themselves in the place of a partner. We figured out what was wrong in their relationship, what needs they could not fulfill in marriage and how to fix it.
Is there always remorse?
The passage of 3 stages of emotional experiences of betrayal does not happen in all situations. Usually they are most pronounced when a man cheats on his wife for the first time, while cherishing the relationship and afraid of losing her.
Repentance does not occur if:
- a man is used to constantly having mistresses and does not consider this to be something bad;
- he does not appreciate and does not respect his wife and is indifferent to her experiences;
- He specifically wants her to find out about the betrayal in order to hurt Her, take revenge, or so that she herself ends the relationship with him.
Usually in such situations, a man, even if his wife caught him cheating, does not try to save the marriage, regain her trust or receive forgiveness, since psychologically he has already completed this relationship.
Any reaction that a man experiences is very individual, it depends on his character, temperament, life principles and views, as well as the feelings that he has for his wife. Each person has their own range of emotions and copes with it in their own way.