How not to dissolve in a relationship with a man and not lose yourself? When a girl dreams of meeting her betrothed, in 100% of cases she imagines mutual respect between partners, comfortable coexistence in a common residential area, and an exciting pastime with a guy.
And for sure, no woman dreams of becoming a pale shadow of a tyrant spouse. And there are quite a few such examples. Despite the activity of the feminist movement in recent years, the number of girls who have completely dissolved in relationships and lost themselves is amazing.
Reasons why a woman loses herself in a relationship
Why is this even happening? And what needs to be done so as not to turn from a bright beauty with a personal opinion into a gray mouse, whose life goal is to cook borscht and iron office shirts for her dearest spouse?
Often, this behavior slowly but surely becomes a habit that sticks to you like a second skin. No way that you can see it. Possibility of living in other areas of the pathology and in a non-local way:
- Primer and the word.
When a Girl from an early age observes a similar model of behavior in Her Family, she will subconsciously begin to copy it already in adulthood. After all, it seems to her that only such relationships are correct.
- Ambient pressure.
Unfortunately, many women are affected by it. You may not see such a relationship in real life. But in theory, they are encouraged even now, when it is high time to recognize the equality of both partners in a pair.
But the constant reassurance from relatives, girlfriends and the whole society as a whole that losing yourself is the norm for a woman can greatly affect the worldview of even the most confident girl.
- Relationship with abuser and manipulator.
If you are fundamentally unlucky, and your spouse turned out to be just such a person, sooner or later such a model of behavior will begin to be seen as completely adequate and correct. Narcissists and abusers are very clever at suggesting that marriage is about giving your all.
However, this, in their opinion, does not concern a man. The abuser will argue that a good wife does not go out with her friends, does not visit beauty salons, does not want to be well-groomed and dressed up, and does not have her own opinion at all. It is absolutely impossible to succumb to this trick.
- Low self-esteem, hidden complexes.
If the idea of unattractiveness or uselessness has firmly settled in the female subconscious, then the girl will prefer to kill her personality in order not to lose her partner. It seems to her that with his departure, the world will cease to exist. To the extent that this is done, it is very special.
How not to lose yourself in love?
- Idealization of your family.
Another no less harmful factor for you. Don’t worry about it and protect it. Do not try to put on a good face for a bad game. Loss of personality and dissolution in a relationship with a man is far from the ideal of a loving and happy couple.
How to maintain an adequate partnership?
From the point of view of psychology, a couple where one person lives as he pleases, and the second only adapts to the circumstances imposed on him, is doomed to parting. Or debt work with a psychotherapist. If you don’t care about the situation:
- Don’t take the position of the victim.
We can say that this is a key point for any girl. As soon as you come to terms with the current situation, and the expression “this is a sea cross” will appear in the lexicon, count, count No one is obliged to hang such a burden on themselves and live under the yoke of another person.
Get it once and for all. When you accept the role of a victim, the partner stops seeing a normal living woman in his soulmate. The wife automatically becomes a housekeeper and an errand girl.
- Don’t give up on hobbies.
It doesn’t matter if a man shares them or not. This is your personal little world, an outlet and a stronghold of harmony with yourself. If a person begins to issue ultimatums, it is worth considering whether such a relationship is needed at all. After all, it will only get worse.
- Prolong it with the druzyami and rodents.
Not in the room where it isn’t there. Maintain your existing social contacts with all your might. Remember that a man who seeks to control every step of a girl and tries to seat her at home is a typical household tyrant.
- Support your partner’s hobby.
This is how you show him that having individual hobbies is completely normal. Even if you are doing something separately, this does not mean a discord in the relationship. People just need to relax on their own sometimes.
- Do not be afraid to express a personal opinion, even if a man does not share it.
This is completely NORMAL. You should not become a disenfranchised being, living on someone else’s orders. Negative emotions and contradictions accumulate inside and become the cause of psychosomatic manifestations in the form of various physical illnesses.
- Don’t give it up to the other half of the world.
Just remember how many people there are on our planet. No need to take it, it’s on one of the walls with my clinical clan. If you are destined to break up, it should be taken as an experience. So do not dissolve into another person for fear of losing him.
- Do not be afraid to do something without your man.
You don’t have to be attached to each other. It is from here that the legs of jealousy, constant nit-picking and fading intimate life grow. Partners need to miss each other at least sometimes.
Negative effects of dissolving a woman in a relationship
This is not as harmless as it might seem at first glance. After a girl has been in such a relationship for several years, where she has lost herself as a person, she has a lot of negative consequences that do not go away very soon:
- Fear of creating a new couple.
Even If the Man Really will be completely Adequate this time, It will always seem to You that something will go wrong again. And that is fraught with anxiety disorder of the psyche. In every potential partner, you will see an abuser.
- Constant dissatisfaction.
It is not uncommon for a woman, after breaking up with a guy who tried in every possible way to eradicate her personality from her, completely takes the blame for her loneliness on herself. This problem is especially acute when it comes to marriage and children.
Quite often, a girl has a sharp feeling blame before the baby that he lost his second parent. Although in fact, growing up in such an atmosphere is still a pleasure. As a result, the child grows up terribly spoiled and completely ill-mannered.
Eternal dissatisfaction with oneself always coexists with low self-esteem and a large number of hidden complexes. On the phone, you can wait until you see it and it’s normal.
- depressive disorder.
Quite a logical continuation of the previous paragraph. And it’s not just “something makes me sad.” Here we are talking about a real clinical diagnosis, which threatens with suicidal and destructive thoughts.
- Decreased social skills.
After a long dissolution in a relationship with a man, it can be very difficult to restore lost character traits and your own individuality. It is not uncommon for girls to completely lose the skill of communicating with other people.
- Chronic dissatisfaction with life.
It is not possible to call it, but it is not small, but the wind is only and it is not. There comes a feeling a la “not at ease”. It is in the area where it is uncomfortably and problematically.
No relationship with a man is worth it for you to completely dissolve in them. It is very important to be able to maintain individuality, defend boundaries and position yourself as an independent person. Otherwise, something else can turn into a real tragedy.