How to achieve mutual understanding in relationships between people? Once an Eighteen-year-old Girl Said that she didn’t care that her boyfriend was a bartender, the main thing is that there is mutual understanding in their relationship. A wise phrase that you can’t help but agree with. How to achieve mutual understanding in relations with your husband – advice from a psychologist.
Building Trust
It is impossible to achieve mutual understanding without trust. See how it works:
- Something inside you whispers that the person next to you will not budge when you need help.
Going on a trip with him, you control absolutely everything – from the hotel to order dinners. No, that’s on the word you’re in. Or you just don’t want to.
- So that’s a lot better than you think.
At the same time, you do not realize that in many ways you initiate and support the position in which you find yourself.
As a result, you begin to cheat that your husband does not love you, does not understand, and does not want to do anything for you. You are looking for the second bottom in his speech. You build a wall because of which you don’t even want to look at what your husband is like in reality.
- One day you wake up in full confidence that there is absolutely no mutual understanding between you and your spouse.
You start to be afraid of him, to believe that he has been deceiving you all his life.
Lack of trust forms fears, and unwillingness to communicate. You don’t even want to attempt to understand the other person.
Trust takes a long time to build. For you, takes care of you, forgives the quirk.
No, and will have to work hard. You need to want to believe your partner, not to look for non-existent nonsense, not to blame for what he never did, and not manipulate him.
In addition, it is worth learning to turn to him for help even when you can handle it yourself. Allow him to do something for you, especially if it gives him pleasure.
Signs of Healthy and Sick Relationships
Ability to listen to a partner
An important quality that leads to a mutual understanding is the ability to listen and hear the husband.
In terms of the country where there are fewer real names:
- The way you see the world.
- As your spouse sees it.
- A world where your vision intersects.
- Objective reality.
Mutual understanding grows when you can realize that your visions of the situation, and the world around you can be different.
primer. You want a Child, You dream to feel His Movements in Yourself, to touch his delicate skin when tender, to carry him in your arms, to take care of him. All other desires, and plans recede into the background.
All you need to do in the Rebecka is the other rascals and the pond, it’s so easy to see, you don’t have to.
Each of you is trying to convey his point of view to the partner, not trying to understand each other’s logic.
te. you understand that the husband is talking about money, but you do not realize his motives – for example, taking care of you. He wants you During pregnancy, the first year of the child’s life did not work, and did not worry about anything, just enjoy communication with the baby.
In the same way, the spouse sees how important the child is for you, but does not realize that the baby has become the meaning of your life, and all its other components have faded into the background.
If you want to achieve mutual understanding in relations with your husband, you need to learn to be aware of what drives him, to hear his motivation, and accept it.
without criticism
Criticizing other people is comfortable and pleasant. So you transfer all your attention to them, protecting your inner world and not letting anyone see it. But criticism is good in youth when analyzing a business plan or a theatrical production.
In relationships between people, it creates an impassable abyss, a barrier. Looking for flaws, you do not see the virtues. Concentrating on character traits, and intelligence, you do not notice inner kindness and the ability to love.
Therefore, the next piece of advice from a psychologist is this – to achieve mutual understanding in a relationship, you need to avoid caviar. Open up to your husband. Let him see you for who you are. Don’t scoff, don’t come up with an excuse to hide. At the same time, try to find out his true face.
To do without criticism means to learn to trust yourself and your partner, to respect your feelings, interests, and each other’s personality.
- Talk to your husband more often.
- Pay attention to his good STORons, achievements, and attempts to build your relationship, to help you.
- If in his actions you saw something unacceptable, do not rush at him like a panther on prey. Understand the situation.
- Let him be himself. Rejoice when he shows his interests, and feelings, even if he behaves like a child.
No fears
Often a woman and a man already meet with a huge baggage of fears. They are afraid that they will be humiliated, and insulted, that they will not be able to meet the requirements of a partner.
All of these fears come from the past and are based on real experience. When you meet your future spouse, you don’t even suspect what he could go through.
And over time, the glomerulus unravels. You understand that if you press one button, your husband will begin to obey you. If you click on the second one, it will become afraid of you. On the third – he will run away from you to his mother.
You acquire a set of tools that allow you to manipulate them, including doing what someone else did for you – to humiliate, insult, deprive you of faith in yourself.
The husband, in turn, replenishes his arsenal of fears. Previously, he was afraid to communicate with his mother, an ex-girlfriend. Now, seeing that you are capable of humiliation, he begins to fear you too.
For mutual understanding to reign in relationships, it is necessary to exclude the manipulation of a partner.
- Appreciate his inner world, desires, dreams, and fears.
- Respect the person you love in your partner.
- Share your thoughts with him.
- Motivate him to tell you about himself even what he used to hide from other people.
No cheating
Mutual understanding cannot be built on lies and deceit. As soon as you deceive or simply hide a piece of the truth, you will cross a certain line beyond which people will stop trusting you.
The reason is that deception is a diverse, voluminous phenomenon:
- For some people, this is a sign that the relationship is over. They don’t like lies.
- Drugs used in obmane newness in chuvstvach. You can say you love and truly believe it. No, the budget is visible to those who are new to the word, to the extent that it is necessary to understand the meaning of the word.
- For others, deceit means nothing at all. They don’t care if you’re lying or telling the truth. That’s just and complete understanding with such a person cannot be achieved.
No how to keep from deceiving or hiding the truth? Again, trust comes into play. If you trust a young man, then there is no point in deceiving him. And if you don’t know at what point he is lying, then there is no trust.
It’s not easy to cheat. Just make it a rule to tell the truth, whatever it may be. Try to be sincere. If something confuses you in the behavior of your husband, do not be afraid to ask, but in such a way that the question does not sound accusatory.
Unhappy families are unhappy in many ways. In happy ones, you can find one common component – partners strive for mutual understanding.
