Jealousy is usually one of the most common manifestations in relationships.
However, as “common” as they are, it does not mean that they will dominate you all the time, becoming an obsessive and sick attitude. Therefore, you must learn how to control jealousy.
To be a little jealous, and just a little, to your partner is not bad; What is really negative and detrimental to the love they have for each other and the union they have decided to build together is not knowing how to control jealousy.
Understand, first of all, one important thing:
He is not your property any more than you are his.
Although they seem one only because of the things they do and unite them, they are still two different, individual, separate people.
Keep in mind the following 2 keys and take careful note.
Key #1: Mutual Respect
They need to have their space, their preferences, their hobbies, and they must learn to respect those of the other person.
If you don’t have respect for who he is and what he stands for, you’re on the wrong track!
You must learn to accept him as he is, with his quirks and defects included, with his virtues and positive qualities that make you love him.
By imprisoning and burdening him, you will end up drowning him in the relationship you have and will make it a torment for him.
If you want a quick solution to discover, once and for all, if he is cheating on you and get out of doubt, see How to discover a cheating man
On the contrary, if you have not reached such extremes and it is only unjustified jealousy, then read on and discover 3 steps to know how to control jealousy.
Key #2: Learn to control yourself
Learning to dominate yourself, to remain calm, to see things objectively and how they really happen outside of your imagination, will help you manage the jealousy that corrodes you and does not let you enjoy happiness with your boy.
Do not get depressed, you have already taken the fundamental step of all: you have recognized that you are jealous, that this is representing a problem in your relationship and, most importantly, you have decided to seek help!
Self-acceptance and self-criticism are among the most difficult things to achieve, but you have already taken the big step on a long road to improvement as a person and as a romantic partner.
And here is that help!
Keep going and you will find the 3 steps that can help you learn how to control jealousy and live more relaxed and confident of your partner’s love.
How to control jealousy in 3 steps
Step #1: Determine the cause so you know how to control jealousy
The causes of the appearance of jealousy in the couple can be multiple and, sometimes, they are not so easy to determine.
If you want to know a little more, read this article published by cetresmalaga.com
But, in most cases, they have their origin in matters of our own personal life or our recent or ancient past.
Here are some likely causes why you sometimes feel jealous.
Identify the one that is closest to yours so that you can start working on how to control jealousy towards your partner and opt for the benefit of self-control to improve both your life and your relationships:
When you were little, did your parents argue a lot? Was one of the two constantly jealous of the other?
If you are one of those people who have lived in a family environment full of jealousy and insecurities, it is highly likely that you will reproduce the same pattern of behavior.
First of all, you must identify it.
Think about your childhood and adolescence, but also about the people around you: parents, siblings, grandparents, uncles, were any of them jealous enough for you to notice?
Was it frequent that jealous behavior of one or another member of the couples that surrounded you happened?
If so, then do some research.
Acquired habits and behaviors
The genetic inheritance of your relatives is undeniable in you, you can know that by how much you physically resemble one or the other.
Behaviors and habits may also not be inherited, but acquired over time.
That is precisely what you have to work on!
If the habits were not the best, such as being jealous, then they must be eliminated from the family inheritance!
Examine a bit and decide not to repeat previous behaviors learned from your loved ones, after all, not everything you learned in life is good or positive.
The key is to realize, in time, what is wrong and not fall back on mistakes that you have seen others have made.
Learning from the experience of others can always be very useful.
It may be that, sadly, you are one of those girls who has suffered a lot for love or who has had a recent or distant experience with a partner who has been unfaithful to you, and for this reason the relationship ended.
Do not feel sad: your case is not isolated.
There are many couples who are victims of infidelity and break up because of it, but there are also many who decide to forgive and move on.
First of all, you must think that the important thing is not how terrible and bitter the experience was, but that it does not have to be repeated.
Check the article on scielo.org.co and discover a little more about the complex world of jealousy in a couple.
Live the present without fear!
All people are different and every second that we live next to each one of them is also different, so why would the same thing be repeated with one and the other?
You cannot live in fear of what may happen just because it has happened to you before, that will only torment you and make you suffer for no reason.
Trust your partner and tell him what is happening to you, show him your wounds, and let him give you signs of trust in him and in the relationship.
You will see that it is worth it!
You will surely be interested in knowing how to be happy with your partner
Lack of confidence in yourself will prevent you from knowing how to control jealousy
This is key to starting any relationship and not just couples.
The first thing you have to work on is your self-confidence and your own worth.
It’s no use loving your boy to death if you don’t love yourself first.
Work on your insecurities and your fears, there may be the key to understanding how to control jealousy!
If you feel defeated, that you are not worth enough or that you are insignificant to him, you are on the wrong track!
Do not compare yourself with the others, he has decided to be with you and not with the other girls!
If you are his girlfriend or wife for something it will be, right?
He has chosen you and that choice will be based on something, otherwise, he would have chosen another.
Work on appreciating your positive values, your qualities, what makes you special.
If you want good extra help with this topic, be sure to consult How to be more attractive and you will see that it helps you to increase your self-esteem and learn to love yourself.
If you want another tip, try the Love Interest Calculator before you fall into a crisis of jealousy or low self-esteem.
Find out first how interested he is in you and if it’s worth keeping trying!
Step #2: Separate fact from fiction: be objective and learn how to control jealousy
One of the most difficult things to do, for some, is to approach life objectively.
It is hard but not impossible.
Sometimes we allow ourselves to be permeated by things that are not real and we end up ruining what truly exists.
Not everything is rosy in a relationship, if you think so it’s time to wake up!
Fairy tales are just that, stories!
Of course, you can live your romance like in a movie, but be careful, you also have to be aware of reality.
Live a real love story, not a fairy tale!
If you are one of those who lives believing in the love of novels, it is not bad, but you have to know how to see life as it really is and not only the one built by screenwriters and filmmakers.
Yes, it’s sad, but betrayals and infidelities happen in the world all the time.
That doesn’t even remotely mean that it has to happen in your world, in your relationship.
Do not fall into the 25 mistakes that women make and ruin relationships, escape from them with intelligence and cunning.
If you and your guy fight or disagree on something, it doesn’t mean he’s cheating on you!
You cannot live suggested and predisposed to something bad going to happen, because without a doubt it will happen to you if you call it all the time with your thoughts.
NO! That is not the way. You must be, above all, objective.
Clear your mind of gossip and intrigue, let the stories of prince charming in movies rest, and ask yourself the following:
- Is he really cheating on me?
- Do I have reason to doubt him?
- Hasn’t he shown me enough that he loves me and that I should trust that love?
When you answer these questions honestly, from the depths of your thinking, and reflect with total impartiality, you will be ready to overcome jealousy.
Step #3: Stay calm
In the race to learn how to control jealousy, it is not about arriving first, but about resisting and knowing how to arrive on time.
Above all, you must practice calm and patience when a certain situation unleashes a crisis of mistrust within you.
The solution lies in not blowing up, not letting that jealousy subdue you, and staying calm.
In this way, you will be able to think with total objectivity, as I told you before, and see things differently.
If you are angry, anger will dominate, and right there you will have lost the battle.
But don’t give up, the war is not over yet and the battlefield is yourself and what you feel.
You must stop and breathe one, two, three… ten times, if necessary, before falling into those thoughts that unleash that jealous and possessive person inside you.
If you feel that a jealousy attack is about to start, or that a certain conversation will lead you down the path of losing control in that aspect, stop!
Breathe again, listen to him, let him finish talking and explain reasons, don’t interrupt him when he communicates an idea, don’t judge so quickly.
Sometimes, a misinterpretation of something that has been said can lead to mistakes that then have no turning back on the road.
The best thing is not to repair the damage that is done, but to try, by all means, to avoid said damage.
How to control jealousy is not impossible, it just requires a touch of maturity and emotional intelligence.
One important thing:
Before launching all your anger and losing control out of jealousy, before responding to your boy in that state or questioning what he has done, stop again!
Breathe once more and again if necessary, calm down, and close your mouth so you don’t say something you may regret later.
When we get angry, sometimes we say things that we don’t really mean and in the heat of the discussion they come to the fore.
Therefore, you should always try to remain calm and analyze the situation with a cool and clear mind.
There are scars that only words can create and then remain there for a lifetime, and you don’t want that, do you?
If you are already working on that tranquility, then the best thing you can do is also work on occupying your mind with other things that are productive for your relationship.
If you have doubts with your boy, learn seduction techniques to attract him and keep him by your side without having to resort to or look for another girl:
- Work on your confidence.
- Remember that we all need our personal space.
- Develop activities and hobbies without your partner.
- Avoid destructive and negative thoughts; Learn to separate fact from fiction.
- Reflect and stay calm in the face of an attack of jealousy, breathe!
- Seek professional help if you feel like your jealousy is over the top.
Do you want to make him fall in love with you even more and surrender at your feet? Read and apply the spell to make a man fall in love and discover the result.
Work on improving the relationship from the tranquility and not with a volcano of emotions, especially negative ones, sprouting to the surface in any situation and for any reason, even small.
Identify romantic plans to celebrate as a couple that lead them to relax and enjoy that love they have for each other together.
It is about doing positive things as a couple, that give you confidence and security to know how to control the jealousy that once dominated the love you feel for him.