Relationships are hard work. You must have heard this expression. And, although it is already quite hackneyed, this does not make it wrong. All relationships have their ups and downs, and they all require commitment and a willingness to change with your partner.
But there are ways to make your relationship stronger, no matter how long you are together – a couple of weeks or several decades. Even if life has made you disappointed in people and relationships again and again, don’t be afraid to try again and make that particular relationship long and happy.
What is a healthy relationship?
Yes, all relationships are unique, as are the reasons for which they arise. But they become healthy if you and your partner share the goals you want to bring your relationship to and the ways you want to achieve this. How to understand it? Talk honestly and openly with your partner. In addition, any healthy relationship is based on several important things, keep them in your life and any difficulties will be nothing to you:
- You maintain a strong emotional connection. You do everything to make your partner feel loved by you. And this is not at all bouquets of flowers, walks in the moonlight and kisses on every occasion. You feel loved when you know that your partner accepts and appreciates you. This is not just a peaceful coexistence, but the ability to rely on each other emotionally. It is necessary to be constantly emotionally involved in each other, otherwise the distance between you will increase every day;
- You are not afraid to argue. Some couples are used to sort things out quietly and calmly, others prefer loud swearing with breaking dishes. In any case, the main thing is not to be afraid to go into conflict. You need to be able to talk about those things that bother you, but at the same time, be able to resolve conflicts without personal insults;
How to create and maintain strong and healthy relationships?
- You maintain relationships with other people. Do not believe in romantic films, one person is not able to become the whole world for you. Moreover, you should not expect too much from your partner, otherwise this will also lead to unhealthy pressure in the relationship. It is very important to maintain your identity and identity even while in a romantic relationship, so keep your connection with friends and relatives, do not give up interests and hobbies;
- You communicate openly and honestly with each other. This is, in principle, the cornerstone of relationships. If people know what they want from a relationship and are free to say it, it will only strengthen your bonds;
Love and Love
Falling in love, in fact, is a rather simple thing and, often, does not depend on us at all. You see a suitable person or communicate with one for a while, your brain thinks that for some reason he suits you, starts simple biochemical processes, and now you are already soaring on the wings of love.
But to keep this feeling and carry it through the years is a completely different matter. This is where a lot of effort and commitment is needed. After all, healthy relationships can become your fulcrum and source of happiness for life.
It’s just that usually people only focus on their relationship when they’re faced with a problem that just can’t be ignored. And, once the problem is solved, you can return to other interests, such as children or a career. But romantic relationships do not tolerate this. For love to last for many years, it needs constant attention. And the solution of small troubles in relationships helps to avoid large-scale problems in the future.
Tips for maintaining romantic relationships and love
Follow these tips and feelings will stay with you for a long time.
- Tip 1: Spend time together
After all, that’s how you fell in love with each other. You were close, looked at each other, listened to what your partner was saying. Keep doing the same and love will stay with you for a long time. Surely, you have some kind of fondly kept memory of your loved one, for example, your first date.
Everything seemed so new and exciting, you could talk for hours and never stop talking. But over time, you realized that you should make time for other obligations, work, family, and yourself too. Personal communication is replaced by quick messages in messengers. Although this also has its advantages, because it allows you to stay in touch all the time, it will never replace communication with a living person.
You can send a message every day with words of love, even perhaps with a picture or an animated emoji. But very quickly, your partner will begin to perceive this as just a kind of ritual, and not a sign that you appreciate and understand him. No matter how busy you are, make time for your loved one. Find a common hobby, sign up for a dance together, or take a daily walk together. Even just have a cup of coffee together and talk about unimportant little things. Don’t forget about fun. Break the routine sometimes with a sudden trip to your favorite restaurant or spontaneously bought flowers.
- Tip 2: Communicate with each other
This is the foundation of any healthy relationship. With a positive emotional connection, you will feel happy.
How to create and maintain strong and healthy relationships?
It may sound a little simplistic, but communication helps to cope with any problems. And that brings us to another important aspect of communication: don’t be afraid to talk about what you need. Not all of us think about it at all or don’t want to say it out loud for fear of appearing too vulnerable. We are ashamed to talk about this.
Forget such thoughts. Would you like to understand what your loved one needs to make his life easier? That’s exactly what he thinks too. This is not a heavy burden, but a joy for a loving person. And do not assume that your partner has telepathic abilities and is able to guess what exactly you need.
Do not allow misunderstandings and quarrels about this, just talk. If you stop paying attention to your emotions or the emotions of your partner, you will harm your relationship and destroy the connection with each other.
And don’t forget that a huge part of our communication is non-verbal. Gestures, looks, intonations, posture can tell about your attitude to the interlocutor even more than words. If you want your relationship not to collapse, learn to understand the non-verbal messages of your partner.
In addition to, in fact, communication, it is also important to learn to listen to your partner. So he will feel that you understand and appreciate him. And you should not just listen, but hear the words of the interlocutor. What is the difference? Hearing a person is not just about getting information, but also about understanding all the emotions that your partner is trying to put into their words.
- Tip 3: Don’t Forget Physical Intimacy
And it’s not about sex at all. Okay, not just about sex. It is extremely important not to forget about such forms of intimacy as kissing, hugging and just touching. Even scientific research confirms that touch speeds up brain development in infancy and increases levels of occytocin, the hormone of love and affection, in adulthood.
But, of course, do not forget to consider exactly what your partner likes. If he doesn’t like being touched, then don’t insist, as you will only make things worse. And this again brings us back to the fact that you need to communicate with your partner and tell him what you like and what you don’t.
- Tip 4: Learn to give and take in relationships
You may be disappointed, but you can’t always get exactly what you want in a relationship. All normal, strong and healthy relationships are built on compromises. The main thing is to learn to understand what it can be achieved and how to do it.
You need to understand what is really important to your partner. On the other hand, your partner must also understand that you have your own desires. If you constantly only give in, not paying attention to your own needs, then this will only lead to resentment and anger.
In no case do not approach the solution of problems from the point of view of your obligatory correctness. Everything should not be just for you, otherwise you will definitely never achieve a compromise. Even if you are one hundred percent sure of something, even if you know that it is your decision that will be optimal in this situation, listen to your partner anyway, he has the right to do so. Respect the other person’s opinion.
It is also a great way to resolve conflicts that will ever arise anyway.
- Don’t swear about what can’t be changed;
- Don’t use direct accusations. Never say, “You make me feel bad.” Instead, say, “I feel bad when you do this”;
- Don’t use the old arguments. You have a problem that needs to be solved here and now, you don’t need to remember all the old grievances;
- Learn to forgive. Otherwise, you will never solve the problem;
- Take a break if you can’t calm down. It’s best to take a break before you say something you’ll regret. Remember to argue with the person you love;
- If you can’t reach a compromise or decide which of you is right, then it’s best to leave the situation and move on;
- Tip 5: Every relationship has its ups and downs.
You can’t always be good, remember that. Sometimes your partner may have some serious problems, for example, one of your friends or close relatives will not become.
Or one of you may develop serious health problems and the two of you will need to learn to live with it. You may have different views on how to raise children, what house to live in, and how to spend money. All these stressful situations and misunderstandings easily lead to anger at each other.
No need to be angry with your partner because of your own problems. Yes, stressful situations often make us irritable and it is extremely easy to recoup on those who are nearby. But that will only poison your relationship. Find another way to manage your anger.
And do not forget that everyone solves problems in their own way and at their own pace. Do not rush the person, it is better to remember that you are one team and move towards a solution together.
Remember the beginning of your relationship, think about why you decided to be together at all and why difficulties are now separating you.
Do not be afraid to change and change something in your life. You definitely won’t go anywhere from changes and it’s better to meet them with open arms.
And do not hesitate to seek help from specialists if you cannot solve the problem yourself. It’s better than giving up and giving up everything.