How to Deal with a Manipulative Man? People sometimes tend to manipulate others, especially in relationships. With the help of deceit, cunning, denial, and depreciation, they strive to achieve what they want, to remake the partner for themselves, to make him “comfortable”.
There is no sincerity in such relationships, and the victim of manipulation feels unhappy, experiences anxiety, and does not live with anxiety. How to resist such influence and maintain personal integrity?
How to Deal with a Manipulative Man?
Seeing what is being manipulated is a skill that comes with ° and the knowledge of the suit. You can only learn to resist them with practice. There are simple but important rules for communicating with such a man:
- Always be mindful
If you communicate with a man, behind whom you notice a tendency to manipulate you, it is important to maintain the soundness of mind, not to let the person lead you to emotions, because at such moments you lose your critical thinking.
A good way to remember that you are communicating with a manipulator is to “anchor” it, for example, to wear a bracelet, looking at which, you will immediately remember about it.
- Set clear and firm boundaries
Always say that you don’t like something, without blaming the man or shaming him. Just talk about your feelings and needs, don’t let them be devalued, say what you make of flies. and hearing.
He can say that you, for example, invented everything, that you started a quarrel from scratch, that you are jealous for no reason. Agree with him and then explain your feelings.
You can say: “Yes, maybe you think that nothing happened. No more feelings are real, I don’t like this situation and I wish it didn’t happen again. This is important to me because…”
Let’s say a man insulted you, while saying it in the form of a joke. You can answer that it is unpleasant for you and ask you not to do it again. If he accuses you of not having a good sense of humor, we can calmly explain that no one would care.
- No word on “trading love”
A common manipulation is based on the phrases: “If you love me, then you will do it” or “Are you not me at all?”.
It is important to calmly stop such accusations, explaining that this problem has nothing to do with your feelings for him, that precisely because you love him and want to continue communication, it is important for you to understand everything and achieve understanding.
Remember, love can never be traded.
- Bring the man back to the specifics
Often, in order to win an argument, people constantly generalize their claims using the words: always, constantly, every time, forever you are like that, again you did it, etc.
No one wants to, and that is what is happening in the concrete situation. Let him give a real example, offer to analyze it together. Taken in a sphere not possible to interfere old grievances and claims of actual problems.
- Don’t let me make you feel guilty
Often people manipulate by the fact that the opinion of others is important to those close to them, it is important how they perceive them. Because we don’t want to be “bad,” we sometimes agree to do things we don’t want to do at all.
In order not to allow yourself to impose guilt, you need to increase self-confidence. Relationships are built not on sacrifice, but on reciprocity and care.
- No priority resenie «Before and you are»
The manipulator, playing on emotions, often arranges a situation of time pressure, does not give you time to come to your senses and make an informed decision, hurries, demands an immediate response.
If you notice this, stop. Calmly say that now you are not ready to answer and you need to think everything over.
- Don’t be afraid of ultimatums
Often men say that if it doesn’t work out the way they want, they will leave. This forces a woman to adapt to them, stepping on the throat of her real desires and needs.
If a person is really ready to part with you, then perhaps your relationship is not so important to him. So, sooner or later, it will happen anyway.
Develop your independence, both psychological and financial, learn to rely on yourself, only then will you regain control of your life and be free in your decisions.
- Use the support of loved ones
Manipulators tend to isolate their victim, to become for her the only important person. At first they are unhappy with the fact that you communicate with friends, then with relatives. Ultimately, a woman may lose her entire social life.
But your surroundings are people who can support you, look at e.
- Ask yourself the question “Why?”
Every time a man takes offense from scratch, expresses his dissatisfaction, accuses you of something, look not at the reasons for his behavior, but at the goal. What is he striving for? Why is he doing this?
For example, you didn’t cook dinner because you were late at work. On the other hand, you will be informed and you will be able to ignore them. On this it is given for that day, it is possible for the wine to be delivered and it is planned for the property.
On no real problem, and stream to the room, you have to go to the next one. Therefore, trying to justify or prove that he is wrong is useless. However, it is not in the room, but there are compromises, and in the room, you are ready to talk about it.
- No design by the pattern
A person will continue to manipulate as long as it “works”, that is, as long as you play by his rules. If he achieves the desired result, he will never stop. Let go of habitual reactions. Not that it is, it is on one of the subjects.
Do not try to appease the “offended child”, do not adjust to the person who gives ultimatums, do not make excuses when you are not to blame for anything. Offer a constructive dialogue, if a man is capable of it at all.
The only thing that is wrong with the idea is that the manipulator is too late. It’s not real if the man himself wants to change and the other hr, more accepting ough confessionanini° you20
But if he does not have this desire, then he will not give up the usual ways of communication, and it is very difficult to outplay the manipulator, so you need to ask yourself if you really need this relationship, do they make you happy and is it worth spending time on them.