How to fall in love with the person you fell out of love again, and is it possible to do this? Love is a complex concept, a feeling, an idea, a state that can be called differently. Relationships are even more difficult. Relationships are always a process. Any process has its own dynamics, its peaks, the highest points, which are invariably followed by a decline. It is impossible to live at the highest point of a relationship, at the height of feelings and love. No matter how much we strive for this, we simply do not have enough energy. She, like feelings, fades away. And there, on not, at the lowest point, with a malty head, everyone has to make an important decision – to stay in this relationship or not.
Three dangerous situations that put relationships in question
- endless search for compromises;
- accumulated conflicts.
We often call the state after falling in love a routine. When we have already got used to each other, and, perhaps, have already begun to get tired of each other. When we try to “get used to it”. We already see each other’s shortcomings. We accept some, we just tolerate others. Love and feelings are superseded by everyday problems, everyday affairs. We begin to pay attention to the shortcomings.
While our hormones were raging, while our whole being wanted to satisfy the need for love, closeness, acceptance and security, we did not notice anything else. Or they noticed, but this “other” seemed insignificant to us, something that you can close your eyes to and not pay attention to. No needs are met and now the partner’s shortcomings seem much more significant.
Joint life in many ways facilitates our existence, a common roof over our heads, common housekeeping, common finances, constant moral and emotional support. All this makes our life easier. No is and the other side of the coin.
Do you think that my love is on the same thing? How to love someone?
different habits. different preferences. Different way of life. Even a different need for personal space. Each person is unique, his life and habits are also unique. In some ways, we are similar to a partner, but in some ways we are not. And you need to somehow combine two different lives so that both are happy. And this is work.
This is a real job that requires patience, acceptance and compromise. When a relationship is in a phase of emotional decline, it may seem that only this is left between two people: compromises, patience, conflicts. And people can not “agree” in any way. Communication is dominated by a feeling of irritation.
The second dangerous situation for relationships is a parallel existence. If it is possible, if it is necessary for one of the covers, then this is:
- stopped talking about the important and significant;
- do not share your feelings with each other;
- do not have common interests and hobbies.
During such a period, it seems that you already know everything about each other, and you have nothing more to talk about. He goes to his fishing, she goes to yoga, both go to work, have dinner together or don’t have dinner anymore. In this situation, the dominant emotion is indifference.
And the third situation, the most difficult one, is that stage of the relationship when too many unfinished conflicts and claims against each other have accumulated between the partners. Scandals and those that are reassigned to the number of people who are not there. In this case, if the couple decides to break up, this is usually accompanied by violent negative emotions that completely block the possibility of maintaining a friendly relationship. The prevailing emotion in this case is often resentment.
7 steps how to fall in love with your partner again
- To begin with, you need to analyze the situation, your life, your feelings and make a conscious, balanced decision – Is it worth keeping this relationship.
If the answer is yes, then this is already a big step towards success. Here you are, you and two partners will be happy with you.
- The second step is goal setting.
“I want everything to be good” is not a goal, it is a motive, a desire. The goal is always specific and in each pair is individual. I want us to start understanding each other again. Or I want us to learn how to share emotions.
If the problem is in that area, it is not possible to drive the drug and the compromises are made. That is, partners that do not suit them. At the same time, it is important not to blame, but to talk about your feelings and your experiences. A where there are pristine in unfamiliar contacts with other objects, to the extent that they are too small. This is a big job.
- Remember why you fell in love with each other, what was valuable in your relationship, what character traits and actions made you want to be with this person, see him every day, miss him.
Opt for this. Remember your first date, tell each other about the feelings that you experienced at the same time.
- No need to wait for two days in one place and in the back.
Yes, memories are important and valuable, they define us as a person. They are the foundation of our relationship. You can go to the same restaurant where you had your first date. No way you buy drugs. Do not try to forcefully repeat, lose that situation, artificially evoke those feelings. Rediscover those places, get nostalgic, live this moment here and now.
- Personal space.
Sometimes it is very important to be away from each other for a few days. This is not a breakup, this is not a sign that you no longer want to be together. This is a great excuse to start missing each other. This is a very important feeling.
When you are sad without him, when you feel like something is missing, some kind of emptiness inside, when you are anxiously waiting for a meeting, thinking about him, maybe even a little jealous, wondering what he does without you, is he bored…
And then a meeting comes and you see how he is waiting for you, smiling at you. Thus, you not only return yourself to the situation of falling in love, when you lived from meeting to meeting with him. You also understand how valuable this person is to you, how much you love him. You didn’t even notice, you took it for granted.
- Team work.
A partner needs to find something that both of them will like and what will be interesting and pleasant for both of them to do. Travel, hobbies, sports, even watching TV shows together. Any activity in which you will exchange emotions. This is how you get closer and start rediscovering each other. Be interested in each other, try to get to know each other better, open from a new perspective.
There should be moments in a relationship when you are alone with each other. Connect to the telephone, see the drug on the drug, and not in the telephone. Talk to each other. About the important or the little things. About how you feel, about what you want. What are your needs. Talk about how much you love each other.
The moments are there in the routine and in the box, no one else is there. Frankness, acceptance of each other, the desire to be near – remind each other of this. Don’t worry about it, conflict and problems that exist where you need it.