How to Find a Relationship Partner? Are there any rules for finding a partner for a relationship? There are no hard and fast boundaries or guidelines in this matter, but a few recommendations will speed up the whole process. In addition, these tips will help you find a really suitable person for yourself, with whom you can build something serious, strong. What steps will need to be taken? What are the rules of “love search”, what is a relationship in general and what are the mandatory features they have?
What is a relationship?
A relationship is a romantic connection between two (rarely three or more) people, which includes certain rules of behavior in this couple / group. The principles of interaction are chosen by the partners individually, so the requirements in some unions can be radically different from the views in others.
Relationships are tender, complex, passionate, calm, stormy, unequal, secret, etc. In terms of diversity, the following relationships are of the greatest interest and at the same time controversial:
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- platonic – without sexual relations, altruistic;
- abusive – morally and / or physically violent;
- by calculation – without love, based solely on profit;
- free – without obligations, claims, clarifications;
- for one night – a one-time meeting for sex.
Healthy long-term relationships between a guy and a girl are necessarily built on mutual support, care, understanding, loyalty, respect, and serious feelings. Without them, they become either fleeting or very problematic. How to understand that the connection between people is called a romantic relationship? They suggest:
- frequent and varied communication (from personal to domestic issues);
- development, transition from one stage to another;
- the couple’s awareness of each other’s feelings, the desire to be together;
- life planning, taking into account the values, views of the partner;
- usually an unwillingness to make a secret out of their union (except when publicity puts someone in danger).
The transitional stage from just dating to a relationship is usually a confession of feelings or a direct offer to be together, less often sex. An official union is a connection that is either registered and confirmed by government agencies, or does not have misunderstandings among the partners themselves in terms of mutual status, while not hidden from society.
How to find a relationship partner?
1. Leave the house.
It is unlikely that you will be able to find someone for yourself if you are within four walls around the clock. Of course, there is still the “omnipotent” Internet, but dates will still have to be carried out in reality if there is no desire to stay forever in the web of the worldwide network. Even just walking around the city will already increase the chances of finding a person with whom it would be possible to build something.
There are places where it is easier to meet a girl or a guy, where the very atmosphere inclines towards communication, ease. For example:
- cafes, bistros, pizzerias, bars;
- open areas of festivals, fairs, concerts;
- parks – natural, for walking pets or amusement parks;
- transport for long trips (especially trains);
- exhibitions, open-type galleries (museums are not suitable);
- educational (including courses, circles) institutions (workers – only selectively, depending on the attitude of the management to office romances);
- beaches, picnic areas, even fan sections in stadiums.
There are also locations where you can and even get to know each other, but there you will have to take into account specific features. For example, communication in a nightclub is unlikely to end in something serious. An attempt to speak in the gym while a person is playing sports will end with his irritation. And the desire to meet in a supermarket in the baby food department is likely to be out of place.
2. Develop communication skills.
This advice includes two recommendations at once – do not close yourself from communication in general and train your level of sociability. Although the second already requires the first, since practice is an indispensable part of the ability to be a good conversationalist. How can you develop a skill other than to communicate more often? A few additional ways:
- take communication courses (you can do it online, although real group courses with homework will be more effective by checking it);
- read literature / watch videos of people who have this ability at a higher level of development;
- writing essays – they expand the vocabulary well, the ability to correctly compose sentences, while not requiring a quick reaction, as in a real conversation;
- get rid of bad habits like trying to interrupt, talking too much or, conversely, being silent for a long time;
- make retellings, both detailed and general;
- look on sites for a selection of questions for a date or acquaintance, try to answer them both briefly and in detail.
Good knowledge in communication will be useful at any stage of the relationship, it will make acquaintance and rapprochement easier and more interesting.
How to Find a Relationship Partner?
3. Use additional features.
Nobody likes loneliness, so there are many ways to deal with it. Besides social networking and casual dating, how else can you look for a partner? Deal with this:
- speed dating and other meetings for initiative singles;
- mobile applications for dating;
- revision of the environment (perhaps a friend will turn out to be a great guy, and a quiet, sweet colleague on a date will open up from an unexpected side);
- creation of paper/glossy ads for a romantic acquaintance (you can stick them on information boards or distribute them on the street, like a promoter);
- hashtags. Yes, this is part of social networks, but very underestimated in terms of dating. Instagram and Twitter are the best.
Using at least one method is already good, but the process will go faster if you combine several options. At the same time, it will be possible to try something new for yourself, to understand which methods are most comfortable and effective.
4. Become aware of your desires and priorities.
It is difficult to look for a partner if you have no idea what attracts and repels people in people. Some prefer communication with bright, self-confident, persistent, ambitious personalities, while others are annoyed or frightened. What questions can you ask yourself?
- Do I have requirements for age, appearance?
- With what character, temperament can I get along?
- How important are the political, religious, personal, everyday views of my partner to me?
- What type of relationship am I looking for?
- What can I definitely not accept?
It is also important to separate just “I want” from “I need”. Because, for example, if an emotionally effective choleric wants the same active, restless couple, the struggle for leadership in the relationship will most likely begin. But he is more likely to have everything with an active rational sanguine person or a balanced phlegmatic person.
How to Find a Relationship Partner?
5. Look at everything realistically.
There are no perfect people or relationships. Everything requires a thoughtful approach, experiments, work on mistakes, development. If expectations from a partner are too high or too strict, the search for your man will last a lifetime.
It is important to think not only about what advantages the object of sympathy will ideally have, but also what disadvantages you can accept. Someone easily puts up with the fact that a partner smokes, another will not have serious problems with excessive silence or hyperactivity of a roommate.
The same applies to the idea that rapprochement will happen quickly, the wedding will be organized in a year, and the children will definitely be called Vasya and Vika. In acquaintance there is always a grinding stage – attempts to get to know a new person, appreciate the difference, soften the sharp edges of the differences. Some points of view will change if it helps to become closer and at the same time does not affect someone’s main principles of life.
6. Be flexible.
The views of each person change along with the growth of experience, the experience of new situations, the reassessment of priorities. What seems important now may be completely erased from memory in five years. It makes no sense to hold on to old beliefs, even if new ones contradict them.
After an unsuccessful relationship, it is important to draw conclusions, find your mistakes and live on, trying not to repeat them. This already requires flexibility of mind and character. The search for a couple and the period of rapprochement will be much easier if you develop this quality in yourself.
7. Do not forget about self-development.
It is difficult to fall in love with someone who absolutely does not want to represent anything from himself, to strive for the best. If a person is so neglectful of himself, how passive will he be in a relationship? In addition, self-development is:
- a good way to know and understand yourself;
- a reasonable reason to increase the requirements for a potential partner;
- direct deliverance from boredom and feelings of gnawing loneliness;
- improving the quality of your life, opportunities in it;
- greater interest, admiration from others.
When a promising partner appears on the horizon, you will have to comply, since he also has his own requests. At the same time, you don’t have to study topics that are not interesting for you, deal with super-complex tasks. It is enough to choose a couple of main areas for your interests and move towards their deepening.
8. Overcome complexes.
Self-esteem issues are the most common reason people choose parasitic, abusive, or passive partners. Deep down, the victims are sure that they deserve the punishments associated with such a relationship, and therefore are in no hurry to break off the painful connection.
Sometimes, to overcome the main complexes, desire and determination in actions are enough. However, more often you have to resort to professional help. However, finding a psychotherapist is not the most difficult task. The main thing is to force yourself to suppress fear, embarrassment before the session, in order to come to it, to allow yourself to open up. But isn’t a good life and happy relationships worth it?
9. Be patient.
How much effort not to invest, and sometimes circumstances become an obstacle to obtaining the expected outcome. For example, if a person lives in a small village where he has not found a mate, but cannot yet move to a big city. The situation can make him give up on the search, give up trying. This is where the error lies. Alas, but the instant result is a very rare occurrence. More often you have to spend such a valuable resource as time. There are several solutions:
- temporarily switch to something else so as not to allow bad thoughts to visit your head;
- focus on overcoming obstacles, if possible;
- use partial alternatives (it is enough for the person from the example above to get to know someone on the Internet and communicate in this way before moving).
It seems that the reason for bad luck is solely in fate, damage, other superstitions? That long-term bad luck can’t just be a coincidence? Then it’s time to get acquainted with the theory of probability in more detail.
Before you start looking for a partner, it is better to first understand what a relationship is in general, what it can be. Vague vague expectations from a future union will only lead to a waste of time and nerves. A person is unconsciously drawn to abusive, painful, or self-defeating relationships until the inner traumas are carefully worked through. However, the tips in this article will tell you how to avoid such problems, making the search for love successful, worth all the effort.
How to Find a Relationship Partner?