How to find common ground in a relationship with your husband? You have probably heard about the recommendations of psychologists in a relationship to have common interests with your husband. No, what if your conversations are reduced to everyday issues? Let’s try to figure out whether a happy relationship is possible if there are no common interests between you, and how to find them.
How to find common ground in a relationship with your husband? What is the use in joint interests?
Of course, each couple is unique, has its own way of developing relationships. However, if the spouses, in addition to everyday issues, passions, also have common interests, then they have an increased likelihood that they will not get bored together.
You should be careful about the actual situation of the future. If you don’t have shared hobbies, then you will spend a lot of time separately friendhren Often this leads to a cooling of feelings.
Thanks to joint activities, a base is created that allows spouses to better understand and feel each other. When doing a common thing, memories and emotions accumulate. This strengthens the union of people.
Is there always a common interest?
You probably met such an example that in the union there are completely opposite people who are happy for half a day.
Let’s say your husband likes action movies, he likes to drive with friends on motorcycles and in a car on weekends. And the wife is quiet, calm, prefers to go to the theater. It is unlikely that the relationship will take root if she also gets on a motorcycle, and he goes to “suffer” for the next one.
Problems in dissolving the interests of the position of the tongue in the slaves:
- If one of the spouses is worried about the distance or distrust has crept in between them.
- If someone’s need is not being met. The couple has no agreement. But there are high expectations, stereotypes prevail.
If you go home after work, deal with domestic issues, children, while a man goes to volleyball, then in the end you will have dissatisfaction in your implementation. Also, nothing good will come of it if you start living in the interests of your husband.
Common interests should bind a couple, both of you should like them. These hobbies are the start for relationships, friendship. You must be willing to deal with them, not tolerate them. As far as the interests are concerned, it is more than that of the three groups. You begin to understand each other better.
But joint hobbies are not a guarantee of love. Their coincidence does not mean that happiness will await you in marriage. More important than common interests are common goals, mutual respect, and the ability to negotiate.
After all, not a club of interests is organized between you, but a family. And it’s normal if the husband spends time fishing, and you are in the theater. The main thing is that you want to meet and discuss your day.
How to find a common hobby?
A happy marriage doesn’t just happen. This is a job for two people. To have more interests, look for combinations with each other. First of all, rethink your husband’s existing hobbies. It is possible to say that there is no contact between the two.
For example, the husband is a hockey fan, does not miss a single match. Go with him. If he watches it on TV, and you are fond of drawing or knitting, then sit next to him. You can combine two classes. You can spend time with benefit for yourself and keep abreast of hockey events.
Try something new. At first glance, your husband’s passion may seem unacceptable to you. Try to make it yours. Your husband will definitely appreciate your efforts. Let’s say your spouse is going fishing on the weekend. If you think stereotypically, then you should not like it.
And you try to go fishing with your husband. And the catch doesn’t matter. EMOtions, passion for the process are important. You will see that your spouse will try to help you. Just don’t grab his full attention.
Share your interests. Men love to watch their wives create something, while demonstrating their results. Share your impressions. Try to attract a spouse. If you draw, ask for color advice, embroider, look for help in choosing a pattern.
Involve your husband more often in your hobby. He will see your interested face. He will be curious about the result of your work. Look for new hobbies. Do not stand in one place, develop, change. Bring variety into your life.
Steps to find new hobbies
If you suddenly realized that you need to find common ground. This is good. When spouses understand the need to solve a problem, it means that they are already halfway there.
After that, the natural question arises, how to find a joint hobby. For this reason, in the case of the following:
- Start getting to know each other again. Often people live under the same roof for years, but do not know who is next to him, what kind of person. Start talking, be interested in how the day went, what thoughts, plans, desires your spouse has.
- Have each of you make a list of the things they used to enjoy doing. Provide analis. Is that interest relevant for today’s period of time?
- Keep your clothes on and on when you are there. Maybe it’s swimming in the pool, shooting at the shooting range, skating, rollerblading, dancing, yoga. Write whatever comes to mind. Anything that interests you in any way.
- Review each other’s notes. Try to find something in common between them.
- Name the name of the real name. If you are interested in something, you can always cut it out. Perhaps you decide to take up tennis, then by all means attend training.
If you can’t find common hobbies in any way, then this is a consequence of serious problems in a couple. To solve them, it is better to go to a psychoanalyst who will draw up an individual program for getting out of the situation.
What to do if you can’t find a common ground?
By the way, that’s what it is about. He ignores your attempts to correct the situation. The reasons may lie in resentment, dissatisfaction. Reply to this by asking for details:
- Start with intimacy. When a spark disappears between a couple, then it is required to look for it in sex. If you manage to add variety, improve this side of marriage, then the man will do everything to please you.
- Analyze, perhaps there was criticism of the spouse’s hobbies. Respond about his interests only positively.
- Don’t be overconfident. In the family, statements like: “You just lie on the couch, hang out on the computer. And I strive for knowledge, constantly developing.
Finding common hobbies requires the ability to negotiate, show interest in each other. If you find common ground that both will really like, then you can turn it back.