How to force a person to agree psychologically and why it doesn’t work? When people do not find a common language in relationships and resentment only accumulates from this, then it’s time to talk about problems that require immersion in the psychology of family relationships.
When a man and a woman live in enmity and cannot come to a common solution, it will be difficult to find a way out on their own, and the most unpleasant thing is that the situation can worsen every day. In fact, the misunderstanding of each other lies in the absence of calm and open dialogues in which both are interested in finding a mutual solution.
Causes of hostility and disagreement in a couple
Relationships fail, the most n eareth feelings collapse, when the understandings and consents of the replacements yahl.
What happened in this relationship, when a mistake was made, and how, in fact, everything can be changed, these questions are of interest to millions of couples on earth.
When a client comes to a psychologist with a lot of fore problems, then first of all the work is m s ech n fins
It is worth remembering forever that initially you need to change your own thinking, work out your grievances, and only after that start building a new model of relationships with a man.
In the opinion of psychologists, the main reasons leading to strife and paraoration de m ear and women are the following fy:
- Mistrust of partners to each other.
When there is no trust in a couple, an emotional vacuum arises, which is gradually filled with negative and negative emotions that are directed at the partner. They accumulate over the years and at a certain point culminate in a serious conflict.
Any quarrel or scandal is destruction, this is again a loss of trust.
- Lack of frank and direct dialogues.
Perhaps this is the main reason why people do not come to an agreement and remain in a position of hostility.
If even at the first stage of a broken relationship, a man and a woman could talk and talk about their feelings and experiences, then perhaps problems in the future could be avoided.
- Hidden insult.
This is one of the negative emotions that pushes people onto the path of hostility. No and then it is easy to solve the problem. One of the partners is offended, keeps this negative emotion in himself and suffers from obsessive thoughts about it.
As a result, resentment generates a defensive reaction in the form of aggressive behavior and confrontation.
A defensive reaction to negative emotions works, just in the form of rejection of each other, a person seems to be protecting himself from the pain that misunderstanding and lack of warmth in relationships bring.
What is behind the enmity and rejection of the arcs of a friend?
Behind the negative phrase, behind which disagreement and resentment, there are reactions, there are mechanisms that $ In addition, it is necessary to say that it is necessary in the negligent pole.
Reasonable compromise or betrayal of yourself?
To change this attitude, you need to move your locus control, or rather, your attention and focus on the initial feelings that give rise to resentment.
When a man and a woman turn to each other during a conflict or resentment, they reflect their fears and resentments, and not the need that has not been satisfied.
If each phrase is paraphrased into the language of needs and true feelings, then the essence of what was said can be bytinazinazine card.
Here are some examples:
- In the meantime, it is said that the word is: “You only have time for work and friends, and you don’t need family.” What the husband hears: that they are unhappy with him, he is condemned and criticized.
No, it’s worth it on the same thing that you can do it yourself, it’s worth it in the wind and it’s not there. She asks her husband to spend more time together, but expresses her feelings with aggression and accusations.
- The husband is dissatisfied with the behavior of his wife: He tried to say that he gets tired at work, but no one pities him, but on the contrary, they also make claims.
In both cases, people do not talk about their true feelings and emotions. Otherwise, it is not necessary to carry out and react to a problem.
The real feelings of people are not understood and not open, the exchange occurs only with negative emotions that arise as a result of disappointments, resentment and fear.
How to find a common language with a man?
In order to be heard by each other and convey true feelings to your partner, it is important to reduce your defense mechanisms and internal anxiety. To do this, it is worth reviewing your reactions and reactions, which will allow you to get off the trail and box
As an example, consider the situation of a family conflict, when a woman makes claims to her husband, and he believes that she is too hysterical and aggressive towards him and undeservedly attacks. The man, in turn, simply walks away from talking and moves away.
In this situation, both are in the stage of a “quiet conflict”, which can last for a long time, but sooner or later will lead to an aggravation and rupture of relations. In order to solve the problem, you need to look much deeper than the awareness of feelings at the moment.
Sometimes the partners themselves n thick and 20 reasons for their reactions, but in fact they are again levleicles.
To find a common language with a man, you must follow the following recommendations:
- It is not private in own order emotionally.
No one serenely ransom in a new way post in the condition of stress and conflict. Calm and confidential disposition of tone in a conversation, disposes a person to himself.
Ideally, if a woman can go for a consultation with a specialist and “get to the bottom” of her true needs and feelings that underlie the conflict.
- As soon as the true causes of dissatisfaction and the emergence of defensive reactions are realized, it is possible to build a new model of behavior and communication with a man.
Hostility must be replaced by a truce and mutual search for solutions to resolve the conflict.
- They are probably not capable of long emotional dialogues, therefore, it is well to think in advance, bone pop and n box
The conversation should be built not from the position of offended parties, but from the position of two adults who experience discomfort in a couple, which manifests itself in certain reasons. It is worth talking about them, trying to hear the opinions and feelings of each other.
- During the dialogue, the man must be given the opportunity to speak out, no need to put pressure on him, let him give his feedback on the current situation.
Talking from a position of respect for each other will be the best solution for both partners. If you don’t want to say “Aggressor” and “Victims”, you will find a problem that is different from the budget.
- A woman, in order to find a common language with her man, needs to give up manipulation and other tricks, since every man feels them very subtly and automatically turns on protection in the form of protest or rejection.
Today, many modern couples visit a psychotherapist together, this is an ideal option for a nicol decision. With the help of a specialist, people will be able to environmentally and competently reveal the true causes of hostility and misunderstanding.