How to get away from a drinking husband with a child? advice from a psychologist. Alcoholism is, on the one hand, a disease, but on the other hand, it can be cured only at the request of the “patient”. Therefore, if you are in such a relationship, but your man does not want to change anything, then you will not be able to change his attitude towards alcohol either.
An addiction can take away not only money from a family, but also fidelity, mutual respect, and trust. At the moment it is dry and you don’t want to be. As long as you look at the situation, it is not necessary to mention the potency of the people.
What to do if you decide to leave a drinking man?
You can do this in this situation by the sea and in the psychologistic context, and in the unknown situation and in the sky.
Let’s move on to the main points, when you have already decided to leave, what needs to be done:
- Where will you go?
Before you announce your decision to leave, you must understand where you will go, if you need to leave. No, most likely it will be so, since a drinking person is not able to make serious decisions.
As long as you are there, you have to do it by yourself. You don’t have to go anywhere.
- What will you live on?
This only applies to you when you had a joint budget, and now it will be sharply reduced, or maybe you have joint loans or debts, and it is important to think about this.
- Leave when sober
This is necessary so that a man can hear you and make your decision. And also in order to minimize aggression.
- Explain why you are leaving
Even if you have discussed everything so many times already, it is important to discuss everything again. Talk about how his addiction ruined your family life. And if he doesn’t stop drinking, nothing will change.
- Giving hope, think
If you’re planning to give your relationship a chance, think about it well. Are you ready to take risks again, since alcohol can always return to your life.
- Don’t talk if you’re gone
This must be done in order to make it clear that your decision is serious. Also, it will help keep your peace of mind. After all, he can call you when he drinks, and then his behavior and words will be unpredictable.
- Contact a psychologist
In any case, parting is a loss. Even if it happened on your initiative, you lost a loved one. And at the same time you see how he “kills” himself daily. In order to live it all eco-friendly for yourself.
Husband is an alcoholic
- Get the kids ready
If you have children, then they need to be prepared for the fact that you are leaving. You don’t have to tell them what a terrible father they have. If they saw his drunken states, then they themselves understand everything. You can focus on the fact that dad is sick and is not yet ready to be treated.
- Ask for help
If Your Man is Aggressive and you cannot be responsible for His reaction, When you say you want to leave, ask someone to be with you at that moment. This will help protect you. And it is better that at this moment there were no children. So that they do not see a dramatic picture. No need to worry about one of the problems. So you can protect yourself.
What else to pay attention to?
If you left or are just about to leave, you should not give your man money for alcohol. This can become a habit for him that will be difficult to stop. This money will only make matters worse.
You can ask your friends for help. This is exactly the case when you can involve a third party. Maybe they will find the right words to help your man think about his life. After all, if he does not hear you, he may remain authorities in the eyes of relatives and friends.
If you feel sorry for him, then that’s fine. No in this way you will want to do it by yourself. After all, if you spend your whole life feeling sorry for another person, then you will “lose” yourself. You can try to help your man from a distance. If it’s that important to you. No, only in this case you will not clean up after him, but you will go to bed in a calm atmosphere.
- take care of yourself
If at the moment when you lived together, you couldn’t devote time to yourself, and all your free time you either quarreled, or you “treated” him during the period of binge, then after parting, it’s time to pay attention to yourself.
- Go in for sports or other activities
This will give you confidence. And also any activity interacts very well with the psyche and heals it.
Do not sit within four walls. Don’t get stuck in a small circle of friends. You can meet new people, meet old friends, but at the same time ask them not to talk about it.
- Stairs beautician, stylist, hairdresser
Anywhere, but only to fall in love with yourself even more. Now I’m in the middle and now we’re talking about it. This will help you look at yourself with new eyes, and the people around you too.
- Enjoy the little things
Do not forbid yourself small daily pleasures. It can be anything. Maybe you are happy with a beautiful breakfast or you have been wanting a new mug for so long. Or maybe you don’t want to clean up the apartment after him so much that you should hire cleaning. Start making yourself happy every day.
- Spend vremy’s children
It will also give you strength. You will realize that you are not alone. That wonderful children appeared from your union, which means that not everything was so bad. And that you did not spend the best years of your life, but the circumstances just happened.
Many women feel guilty in this situation. If you think that you brought a man to such a state or did not cure him, then remember the very beginning of the article. Only the alcoholic can help himself. At the very least, he must realize that he has an addiction and needs to fight it. He must want to live a full life.
A man can be motivated by children. You can talk about it to him, but the last word will still be his. You must realize that your life is passing, and it is not you who is dependent. And that means you have to think about yourself.
When he is left alone, he can think about his life. About the fact that he was left alone with only alcohol. This may be the starting point for him to recovery. And he can really change his life.
Cases when men stopped drinking and the family was restored are not uncommon. And your relationship can really change. But for you, you need to take care of your own life, and he needs to think about his own. Only then is change possible. Your task is to save yourself.
And if a man does not give up his habit, then he has the right to start a new happy life. After all, there is only one life, and it is given to you in order to live it with dignity and happiness, without guilt.