How to get away from an abuser and break off a relationship – why is it difficult? Breaking out of a relationship with an abuser is not easy. This is because a man does everything to cut off your relationship with others, establishes control, deprives you of money, arranges emotional and sometimes physical pressure. Let’s figure out how to end a relationship with an abusive man.
Why is it difficult for a woman to end a relationship with an abuser?
Difficulties in getting out of an abusive relationship arise from the fact that the victim is gradually drawn into them. First, a man literally surrounds a woman with care. He is attentive to the smallest detail, wraps with love. At this moment it is distributed and is available in partner dependency.
After the abuser has felt the affection of the chosen one, on changes the tactics of behavior. Starts to criticize. Emotionally withdrawn. A woman does not understand what the matter is, she tries to please the man in everything, becomes obedient, does everything to be praised.
The self-esteem of the victim of an abusive relationship suffers. She is literally cut off from the world. The woman becomes dependent on him. She experiences fear, which prevents her from starting actions.
How to get rid of an abuser?
Physiologically preceded by four other languages:
- First of all, get rid of the phrase “It’s my own fault.” It is not the victim who is responsible for psychological abuse, but the dictator. Stop making excuses for the abuser. Nobody has the right to ruin your life.
- Do whatever is necessary to restore personal boundaries. Find activities, interests that will not come into contact with the abuser. Make new acquaintances, return to old friends. Restore relationships with relatives. At this stage, you may need the help of a psychologist. Don’t be manipulated by the abuser.
- Make a plan to get out of an abusive relationship. Find a job, change housing. Leave without regret and without looking back, in fact, such men are morally weaker than their victims.
- Don’t return the relationship. Aggressors do not change. Not that it’s possible, not that it’s not like that. Otherwise, you will find yourself in a vicious circle, breaking out of which will be much more difficult.
- Get ready for a long moral recovery. It is necessary to work on the subject of the same ocean, gaining peace of mind.
How to end a toxic relationship?
If you feel bad in a relationship, think about why you need such a relationship. Nobody has the right to control you.
How to end a relationship?
It is rare that a woman has the strength to get out of an abusive relationship. Communication with a tyrant takes a lot of energy. Moreover, the victim has no where to get it. It’s up to you where you want to be, it’s okay to see the flowers and rods.
Now there are specialized volunteer organizations that help women who find themselves in such a problem. They will also be able to help with temporary housing, divorce from the dictator. Don’t try to cope on your own.
How to prepare for a breakup?
Try to have a heart to heart talk with the abuser. Let him know about your intention to break up. Often yes, such people do not reach the words. No you are not aware of it. Choose the right words so as not to get another scandal and threats.
Talk to yourself calmly, do not break into a cry. Look the man in the eye. This has a calming effect. Demonstrate that you are no longer his victim. You are an independent person who can get away from him.
Learn to show “I am a position”. Stop going after him. Some abusers, noticing changes in behavior, take steps to correct themselves, recognizing the opportunity. Even if this does not happen, you will prepare the ground for parting.
How to communicate your decision?
Psychologically it is necessary to process the distribution of the resco in the plane of the earth. There is no need to make a scandal before leaving, to humiliate the abuser. It might throw him off track. A man may react with unusual behavior for him.
The most simple way that box is like this
Psychologist’s advice on how to end a relationship with an abuser
If the position is different, the physical responses will be made according to the situation:
- Gradually get out of control. A woman must understand that she is under strict control by a man. If there is a demand to show your correspondence, what did you talk about with bt the
- Stop adapting to the abuser. Remember that you are an individual and you have your own opinion. Analyze the situation. See where your personal boundaries are being crossed.
- Set your priorities. Understand that not only relationships with physical, but also psychological pressure are considered abusive.
- Stop trusting the man. Usually abusers are distinguished by eloquence, with which they reduce the vigilance of their victim. Stop listening to promises. Pay attention only to actions. His promises are not caused by love, but by the fear of losing control over a person.
- Reduce contact gradually. It is dangerous to do such actions with an abuser abruptly. Try to cut communication to nothing. After work, you can not rush to a meeting with aby tight, but sign up for dances and or and.
- Try to keep serious conversations to a minimum. The dictator is firmly convinced that he knows absolutely everything about his partner. Deprive him of this opportunity. Limit yourself to talking about the weather, discussing a football match. No possibility of that in the plan. In this way, you will gradually get out of control, facilitate the process of parting on both sides.
- Tell your loved ones about being involved in an abusive relationship.
- Have a healthy selfishness. Understand that your actions should correspond to your desires, not his.
- Show coldness. No succumb to provocations, do not follow the abuser’s lead.
- No wine there in other countries.
- Be firm after a breakup. The abuser will use anything: from flowers and sweets, to threats and promises to improve.
After getting out of a relationship, get a consultation with a psychologist to analyze the situation, why ok? You also need to work on your self-esteem.
You need to get out of contact with the abuser as soon as possible. As soon as you notice the signs of a pathological relationship, make a firm decision to get out of the situation. Don’t re-engage.