How to get out of a destructive relationship – TOP 5 secrets. No one wants to see it in the sky. It happens that they are destructive, and toxic in nature, they prevent you from realizing yourself, break plans, and dreams, destroy you, and then the question arises of how to get out of a destructive relationship.
Become aware of destructive relationships
If being next to your husband or meeting a guy, you feel discomfort, tension, fear, and anxiety, such a relationship can be called destructive. They break you as a person, under their influence you lose interest in life, and you become unsure of yourself.
Because of the negative impact that such relationships have on a person, they are also called toxic, and poisonous.
The first step to getting out of a toxic relationship is to be aware of it:
- EMO-rational, physical, and/or economic violence reigns in them. You may want to read the big forms, like beatings, trying to kick a partner out of the house. Softer, but no less tragic manifestations are manipulation, threats lies.
- In such relationships, there is a lot of criticism, control, and attempts to put the other person in a subordinate position.
- You cannot openly express your emotions and feelings. Demonstration of them causes laughter, mockery, and hostility.
- You feel that you constantly have to make excuses for your behavior, actions, and ideas. Plus, you feel guilty.
- You and your partner are constantly quarreling, conflicting over the slightest reason, and no one wants to back down, recognize the firewood.
- You feel dissatisfied in relationships. On west to disappointment and the feeling that you owe something to your partner, you must stay with him. Not lightweight, feelings of happiness, trust.
- Personal boundaries are constantly violated. The guy takes your phone, checks messages, and calls, and hacks social networks.
Often in a destructive relationship, a sense of codependency develops. You would be glad to leave, but pity for a man, the remnants of love, and the lack of visible opportunities for a further successful and happier life stop you.
Even realizing that the relationship you are in is poisoning, breaking you, tearing you apart, it is difficult to leave them. You need strong motivation, support from others around you, and your own determination to get out of them.
Painful, toxic relationships
Build a reliable rear
The next step after realizing the situation is to build a reliable rear. You need it to temporarily exclude contact with a young man, to calm down, to recover.
Perhaps you already have such a rear. For example, these are the parents you trust. If it is impossible to go to them, you can rent an apartment in advance. In this case, plan the time and conditions of the move, and determine what things you will take with you.
If a young man lives with you, you need to convince him to move out. It can be hard, especially if he has nowhere to go. He will put pressure on pity, your feelings. It can even threaten suicide and violence.
- Clearly state your position and do not succumb to persuasion.
- Keep your phone handy. If there is a risk of aggression, it is advisable to have another one that the man does not know about.
- By the way, you can do it on the street in the country.
This step may seem redundant, but it is a bridge from a destructive relationship to a normal life. Don’t forget to ignore. Also note that if you are alone in the city, you do not have relatives, close friends, then he may turn out to be laughing laughing laughing
A very part of destructive relationships arises when one of the partners, most often a girl, becomes too dependent on young people. It can be financial and EMO-functional dependence. It needs to be overcome within yourself.
- Try to find a job, a part-time job to provide for your needs. It is desirable that what you do, you like and bring satisfaction. This will give life a positive impetus.
- If you feel like in a cage and at work, sign up for courses for a new profession, retraining. Your goal is to find yourself. Through work, and study, you can feel freer.
- Spend time alone with yourself. Walk, watch, talk to strangers. This is the price to be paid to the customer who is responsible for the price of the room.
- Meet friends who accept you for who you are.
- Start doing what you like or like once. Just buy a pencil and notepad and draw. Play volleyball. Grow flowers. Through your favorite business, you will prove to yourself that you are capable of much.
Talk to other people
It is not necessary to take a step after you have organized the rear and determined how to gain independence. All these actions can be carried out in parallel.
Do not keep pain, fears, and anxieties in yourself. Share them with those you trust. It can be relatives, friends, ready to support you. Severe situations that could turn into violence are best reported to the police.
Why is it important:
- Talking with loved ones about the problem will help you see it as if from the outside. You will be able to evaluate it in a new way, notice additional factors, opportunities, reasons, perhaps, and vivet.
- The listener will support you, help you understand yourself, and give advice.
- You will no longer feel lonely.
- Talking about your feelings will help you clear your mind and make a decision.
I remember a case when a young man mocked his girlfriend for six months. He checked her phone every day. If her classmate, and colleague liked her photos on social networks and wrote comments on them, he made a scandal.
He hacked the mail, and controlled its every move.
The girl was initially impressed by this behavior. She considered him a manifestation of love. This fact was confirmed by the fact that after each scandal, he began to caress her, pity her, and talk about his feelings.
Only after he once closed her in an apartment for a day without a phone and slapped her in the face, she realize that the relationship does not give her anything good, but, on the contrary, destroys her. Togda on Nashua v sebe sily pogovorit s mom, and then with a psychologist.
Limit contact with a man
Toxic people always find a way to play with you and make you regret your decision to get out of the world. So just avoid meetings and stop talking to your man.
Move it to the black list, remove it from contacts. Let such behavior be regarded as childish. No, it’s only priyti in sebya and you can say, mysli, potrebnosti.
If you know what you are doing, you should avoid contacts that are in the field. In this case, talk to him only about the child and business. Stop any attempt to discuss personal matters.
take care of yourself
When it comes to defense, don’t forget about yourself. No matter how hard it is for you, find time to go to a beauty salon, shop. Do your hair, make up to see how beautiful you are. Go in for sports, tighten your figure.
You should not worry about that, so that you are aware and you are.