How to get rid of emotional addiction in a relationship? Find out below the best ways to work effectively with emotional addiction! When your happiness comes down to a person, achievement, or outcome (or a fragile combination of both), you find yourself emotionally dependent.
This is by no means your fault, but it is a vital challenge for your future. It takes tremendous courage to overcome emotional dependence on people, events, or things. This takes practice and won’t always come easy. But it is possible. Below are 9 ways to get rid of emotional addiction.
1. Take absolute responsibility for your happiness
No matter how good a person makes you feel, it is a great idea to develop emotional independence. And do not shift responsibility for yourself to others.
It takes self-observation, learning, and practice. But ultimately you will be able to take care of yourself even in situations in which you are now dependent on others.
For example, if you are feeling sad, lonely, desperate, or stressed, you can work on those feelings instead of spilling them out on loved ones.
By acting in this way, you will stop blaming the world around you for your troubles, take responsibility for everything that happens to you, and begin to change your life for the better.
“My job is to take care of me”
2. Stay alone
We have an innate need for communication. This is totally normal.
The essence of loneliness is not to shut yourself off from the world, to imagine that you can be completely independent, and officially declare your independence to the rest of humanity.
“Loving yourself is incredibly difficult. But it’s worth it”.
It is important to learn to take care of yourself, to understand that your needs are very important, and they will not disappear if you neglect them or ignore them.
The dependence of an emotional state on anything is always the result of suppressing your needs.
Here are some ways to take care of yourself emotionally:
- Recognize your needs and prioritize;
- Make plans to cover your needs;
- Enjoying loneliness;
- Find or create a support group where you can express your feelings;
- Consciously return to the present moment several times a day;
- Exercise regularly to keep your body feeling better;
- Immerse yourself in something positive.
- Finally, never forget that wherever there is life, there is hope.
Loneliness is your best opportunity to explore your condition. Imagine that you decide to spend several months all alone. Ask yourself the question, “How can I make this time peaceful, relaxing, healing, constructive, and rewarding?”
You are sure to find many amazing ways to have fun and take care of yourself. Perhaps through soothing meditation, movies, music, books, courses, or walks with your imagination.
3. Write down or speak your thoughts and feelings
Repulsion of feelings and thoughts creates emptiness. A great way to make up for it is to write down everything we think and feel on paper or a tape recorder.
You want people to listen, understand and support you. Largely because you yourself refuse to do it for yourself.
Agree, you feel helpless when you can’t express yourself. Describing needs, desires, disappointments, resentment, fear, sadness, shame, despair, stress is a great way to empower yourself.
It is important to allow yourself to be honest, to express your fears and doubts.
You will then experience a sense of emotional release. This method takes practice, but it is worthwhile to apply it regularly, and the results will not belong in coming.
“Never judge yourself harshly for what you think or feel.”
How to get rid of emotional dependence on a person? Even if your emotions seem overwhelmingly harsh, describe them.
When you learn to fully accept your emotions, you will realize that nothing is more beautiful, innocent, or delightful than your own heart.
In addition to expressing feelings, it is good to write down your thoughts and bring them to a conscious level. When you ignore them, they are more likely to subconsciously control you.
4. Recognize your emotions
Recognizing your vulnerability is a way to connect with your inner child. The best way to express this part of yourself is to speak like a child, for example: “I am now very sad/hurt/scared/lonely”.
Once you feel that you have sincerely expressed your feelings, you need to take the position of an inner parent. First, it should be noted how adorable innocent, vulnerable, and flawless your inner child is.
You can then gently reassure your inner child that it is okay to be sad, afraid, and angry.
At this stage, you are acting in the person of a wise adult who is determined to take care of his adorable child.
Even if you don’t know what to do, you can say gently, ” We will figure this out .” Or make a promise like this:
“I know it’s difficult for you now. I know you feel lost and helpless. I don’t know how long it will take, but I’m here to do everything to help you. ”
So we have a process for accepting thoughts and emotions. First, allow yourself to express them with genuine vulnerability. Second, respond to yourself with compassionate acceptance and understanding. Finally, express a loving desire to help.
Just remember, don’t censor your thoughts and feelings. Every thought in your mind requires a sincere and humane acknowledgment. Allow yourself to express them fully from the bottom of your heart.
5. Let go of attachment by focusing on gentle, deep breathing.
Whenever you are dependent on someone or something, your mind becomes deeply attached to it. In this case, you need to practice detachment while staying in the present moment.
The best way to let go of anything is to let go of all your thoughts at once, freeing your mind from the need to control or cling to anything. You can do this by focusing on the breath.
“Accept yourself with every breath. Let go of the whole world with every exhalation. “
Find a quiet place. Start focusing on your breathing, slowly slowing it down. Of course, you will still be distracted by thoughts, feelings, looks, smells, and sounds. In this case, gently admit it and again focus only on the breath and body.
Whenever you feel that you are in the chaos of life, take the time to return to slow your breathing. This creates a calm space that can empty your mind.
It also allows you to relax a little, no matter how crazy the rest of the world can be.
6. Determine where you are cruel to yourself
A good way to bring your abuse to a conscious level is to keep a list of your thoughts, feelings, and deeds that oppress you.
Analyze whether each of these reactions is fair? Will you do the same with the one you love? Can you replace this reaction with another?
“I’m not a pessimist. I am a frozen, tired, hungry optimist. “
To make friends with yourself, you need to listen to your inner world. Including its negative manifestations.
7. Don’t Shift Responsibility to Others
How many times have you walked past a homeless person and tossed him a little change?
When you become “emotionally poor,” you are in the same difficult situation as this homeless person. You can ask for help, but there is no point in asking for it. The harsh truth is that no one owes you anything.
“The only way to free yourself from the situation is to free the situation from you.”
If it seems to you that someone “should” or “must” help you, this is manipulation on your part. In this case, you confuse your needs with their responsibility.
The key to overcoming emotional addiction is to tackle your problems yourself. The most important thing is to start.
8. Work with childhood beliefs
Emotional addiction often stems from childhood.
By identifying the destructive experiences of childhood, you will understand where you are stuck in your emotional development.
Of course, you don’t want to get lost in the past. But studying it will help you let go of many of the negative beliefs that formed when you had no idea how to deal with what was happening.
Removing emotional addiction is not an easy process. In the long term, the goal is to let go of the past and not let it control the present.
You can identify certain “triggers” from the past that made you feel helpless. Then, seeing things like this in the present, you will realize that this is an invitation to a trap that you should not fall into.
Examples of triggers:
- A sense of responsibility for other people’s problems or well-being;
- The feeling that your survival depends on getting approval;
- Thinking that you should do what someone else wants just because that person is upset or acting unreasonably.
Symptoms like these often lead to unhealthy anger suppression and a lack of self-confidence. In such a state, it is impossible to get rid of emotional dependence.
9. Let your emotions cool down
Emotional addiction creates an unstable state of consciousness in which it is very easy to react impulsively to stimuli.
What seems like a great idea when you’re in a “reactive” mood is more likely to be a failure.
They initially react to emotional shock something like this: “I can’t stand it for a second more!” , or “Oh God, I’ll feel this way forever.”
The good news is that none of these automatic beliefs are true. Once you have calmed down a bit, you can think carefully about the situation.
But feelings of need, sadness, anger, tiredness, boredom, or hunger are not a good basis for drawing important conclusions or making key decisions.
Let your emotions cool down instead of doing something reckless.