How to get rid of jealousy for the husband’s past – advice from a psychologist? Proshloe should be in Proshlom. Many women are familiar with this disgusting feeling when, having scanned the social networks of the juth, they found wear, th s vers Is it possible to do it by yourself? They are called a rival and note all her “flaws”: pretty, slim, sexy. Disgusting.
The next y y u y her page and y Since all f f x good ° s n earth Is it possible to prosecute in terms of the other conditions and pathology? How to stop going crazy and fight ghosts?
What is “Rebecca’s syndrome” why does it occur
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Rebecca syndrome or retrospective jealousy is jealousy of a partner’s past. It’s named after D. M. Morier’s novel about the second scorched widower who sometimes tormented her with jealousy. I was looking for confirmation that my mother had forgotten her only youth, she was deprived of everything.
Not important to do in other places. Many men and women don’t feel needed if they don’t get a scene from time to time. No is necessary to move to the next room.
Jealousy for the past, in most cases, has no real basis. No later than the real world and it is possible to use it.
For the experts, let the syndromic Rebekki not be able to wait for the part in the house. The thought that the young person had once kissed another, spoken words and had sex with her. In fact, yes, nothing happens in real life. No mozg you created koshmar and uspel in nego poverit. The infernal machine is running and unstoppable: you convinced yourself that you have already been cheated on.
The causes of jealousy of the past are the same as those of ordinary jealousy, but hypertrophied:
Jealousy for the past. Why do past relationships get in the way of building new ones?
- inferiority (from physical to intellectual);
- possessive instinct.
Those affected by Rebecca’s Syndrome always feel second best and cannot live in peace. And they will always find a reason to confirm their suspicions.
Signs of jealousy of the past
No need to say that it’s worth it. Jealous women often do not even admit it to themselves, so as not to let anyone think that they are not so already. They prefer to torment their other half and accuse others of all mortal sins, just not to admit to themselves that they themselves created their own virtual reality and now they cannot leave the game.
Having rewarded their beloved with “horns and hooves”, they feel that they don’t owe him anything else, and no matter how attentive and caring he may seem, they know the terrible truth.
Usually those who are jealous of the past:
- suffer from low self-esteem and complexes;
- are constantly in fear of being abandoned;
- consider the partner to be their property;
- react aggressively to everything that in their opinion can threaten their happiness;
- for a second they accelerate to a global scandal;
- do not control their imagination;
- have distorted ideas about what relationships should be like (always and everywhere they are together, rashag right -).
It all starts with a thought that penetrates deeper and deeper into the mind of a jealous woman, and as soon as it is fixed in it, you can start the countdown to the bomb explosion. And hardly anyone will have time to move to a safe distance. In order to break the circle of eoroch, you need to learn to take yourself and not to navyae m unch t t t t t t t f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f et zhre ° IKE.
How to overcome jealousy of the past
The consequences of Rebecca’s syndrome are deplorable. What starts as a mild anxiety can turn into an obsession and lead to depression or nervousness. Do you need it? The first step in quatity, k in all such cases, is the recognition that it is failing.
A person who is jealous of the past has a strong need to control everything, and at the same time, choose section Therefore, it is important to stop yourself while you still can.
- Come up with a stop word.
This method may seem naive, but it really works. If you train yourself to suppress a tantrum in the bud, over time it will no longer seem like something unrealistic. If your brain continues to wind itself up, try to distract yourself with those things that require concentration and even. And when there is nothing at hand, focus on your breathing.
- Look at what was, as a resource.
You haven’t spent half your life in a monastery waiting for each other. It’s okay that both of you have had past experiences. One solution flows smoothly into the other, who knows what would be tyuyheim musli not yuyuTe, which are sharp about section. Instead of being angry and obsessed about the fact that he mohuses to yell, thank the past that.
- Don’t take it out on a man for his past.
It’s hard to resist and not sarcastically: “Ah, don’t like my dress? Of course, I’m not your ideal ex, you probably only complimented her!” No obsession with something that has long sunk into oblivion will not improve your perception of yourself, nor your relationship. Anger, sarcasm and aggression are risk factors that can push you to rash actions. By pouring out your feelings on your partner, you hurt the closest person and punish the “mistakes” of the one who is not to blame for them.
- Find a trigger.
Jealousy of the past is a consequence, not a cause. Vernis in to vremya, cogda in it was not by the acquaintance, and in any case, how ty sebya chuvstvovala. If this situation is repeated in all your relationships, it is obvious that the problem is not in men, but in you. There is no shame in seeing a specialist. You will spend less finances and energy, you will save your head before you come, go to this psycholo
- Remember that you have your own personal life.
And it is not about spying on a partner. You have your own interests, needs and dreams. And they float by while you play Sherlock. Make a list of your strengths. You will have visual confirmation that you are no worse than his ex, despite the fact that this is not at all the case. Moreover, you have something that she does not and will never have – this is the future of your relationship.
Jealousy of the past manifests itself in many ways, but always takes the form of “ghost hunting”. Imagine the absurdity of the situation: you put the shadow of a person on a par with yourself. It is not possible for the part to be processed by this, and it is not possible to do so. At two years, three months