When you marry a man, you love each other. You feel with all your heart that you want to take care of this person and sincerely believe that these feelings will last a lifetime. Unfortunately, over the years, under the influence of various life events, there are crises, difficult moments in relationships, falls, and breakdowns.
How to know when it’s time to divorce your husband?
If thoughts of divorce have begun to visit you, it is worth analyzing your current relationship with a man, your feelings for him, looking for the source of the problem, and listening to your inner voice, which may already know if this love can still be saved.
- Divorce is a difficult decision that should not be made impulsively.
- Not every marriage can be saved, but before making a final decision about divorce, it is worth trying Ўra chen.
- A marital crisis does not have to end in divorce, strong emotions indicate strong feelings Binding partners.
- Relationship breakdown can be predicted based on the appearance of four Criteria: Criticism, indifference, defensiveness, contempt.
- The appearance of violence in a marriage, drug addiction, indifference, disrespect, lack of intimacy, avoidance of physical contact may mean that the only solution is divorce.
Psychologist John Gottman, director of the Gottman Institute, a counseling center that deals with couples therapy, has observed and compiled a list of four criteria that indicate that the relationship is really in a bad state. Here are the signs that, according to the psychologist, should cause concern.
Signs that divorce is imminent
Contemptuous tone and hatred for a spouse is the “kiss of death” for a relationship, according to Gottman. For the most part, it is now possible to see on the other hand. Communication with contempt, disrespect, sarcasm, ridicule speaks of humiliation and neglect. This is the first sign that the relationship is going to break up.
One of the most common reasons for breaking up a relationship is the underestimation of one’s spouse, as well as constant swearing. Constant pointing out mistakes, harsh criticism leads to a feeling of rejection. A partner who is constantly criticized feels offended, repelled and therefore moves away, avoiding unpleasant situations.
Criticism may or may not include contempt. No eto is definitely related to the lack of acceptance of the other person. Therefore, daily pointing out mistakes is one of the main reasons for the destruction of relationships.
When is it time to get divorced?
- defensive position
A defensive position occurs when one of the partners feels that he is being treated unfairly and underestimated. “You should have thought about it before”, “I knew it would happen.” Are you familiar with such accusations? A man who accuses his partner of any inconvenience avoids responsibility and at the same time leaves her in clothes.
In such situations, you begin to feel that all this is unfair. As a result of this feeling, you want to defend yourself. If this happens constantly, then even simple questions are perceived as an attack, it forces you to defend yourself and take a counterattack. And building relationships without mutual support does not give them a chance to survive.
Indifference is very often the result of the Three Other Behaviors in Relationships Between Partners: Criticism, Contempt, and Defensiveness. After all, how much can you fight, building everything from scratch? If there is no room for sympathy and understanding, spouses gradually move away from each other.
Indifference builds a wall that is difficult to break down. Avoiding physical contact or even eye contact, Silence, avoiding being at home is, in fact, an escape from one’s own emotions. And either the relationship stays that way for many years, or eventually a break occurs.
When should you decide on a divorce?
Strong emotions between two people are a sign that feelings are still smoldering inside them. But when indifference appears, when even unpleasant words or behavior no longer make an impression, when there is no hope and desire to fight in the heart, then there is a great risk that the relationship can no longer be saved.
All you have to do is to choose the words that you want, and that is the case with the partners and the name you want. You want it, you need it, you need it for the part, and you can save it and you can use it. To make this possible, you need to learn how to say them, open up to each other and awaken those feelings that once united two people. Unfortunately, this does not always happen.
Is it all over or when not to save a marriage?
Problems in others, found in the brake with multi-steering, with details and credits, – this is normal. Quarrels about children, upbringing, housekeeping, money – this happens in almost every family, but in strong relationships, even the most violent quarrels end in an agreement and a truce.
But if marital quarrels are combined with physical or psychological violence, with deprivation of dignity or humiliation, if children are involved in disputes between parents, then most likely there is nothing to save. Domestic violence is one of those arguments that should lead to the decision to end a relationship.
How to build strong relationships?
In his “Seven Rules for Successful Relationships” guide, Gottman states that “most marital conflicts cannot be resolved.” Wise, mature partners know this and accept it.
Among other things, he emphasizes the importance of listening to each other, creating common rituals and memories. In a full-fledged relationship, partners know each other well, because they often talk about their emotions,
Godman says, that you have the right to do it without a guarantee of a car. However, there is no doubt that the best relationships are those in which the spouses are friends. Not Only Love, but also Boundless Trust, Reliance on each other, support and willingness to solve problems together – these are the main foundations of relationships.