How to learn to kiss and do it right? The first kiss is almost impossible to forget. Although in fact, awkwardness, worry about a possible failure, is most remembered. Why are people so worried about this event? How to overcome your constraint and decide on such a step? And most importantly – how to learn to kiss?
How to learn to kiss for the first time?
The biggest reason for fear is the possibility of doing something wrong. However, each cause for fear has its original basis. Most often it is associated with the largest complexes. A person fears failure because of such thoughts:
- “I can be abandoned, rejected, left alone” (fear of loneliness, painful attachment);
- “He/she will tell everyone about what I did not succeed” (dependence on public opinion);
- “He/she finds out that I’m stupid, starts laughing at me” (low self-esteem);
- “I can’t do everything right. There will be inaccuracies and mistakes in my movements. I still don’t have much experience.” (excessive perfectionism);
- “No one will want to kiss me later” (fear of the future, exaggeration, unhealthy maximalism);
- “I will start laughing, crying or acting strangely, repulsively” (rejection of their emotions, their suppression, instead of control).
To solve deep problems, it is better to contact a psychotherapist. However, it is still possible to reduce experiences so that they do not interfere with enjoying the process, feelings, without the help of a specialist.
How to overcome the fear of kissing?
Conventionally, there are two methods of dealing with fear. Each of them is effective alone, but in combination, they work even better. The following are the main principles of these methods.
- Concentration on breathing. In a stressful environment, a person begins to breathe intermittently, superficially. If he tries to restore deep measured breathing, he will feel better.
- Removing the block. Nervousness makes the abdominal muscles tense and causes them to spasm. Because of this, there are unpleasant sensations (“sucking in the pit of», nausea, stomach rumbling, bloating). To avoid them, it is enough to relax the point in the center under the ribs.
- Tremor reduction. Trembling and/or sweaty palms are common signs of an agitated state. To reduce the level of this phenomenon, you can strain your hands and fingers as much as possible for a few seconds, and then sharply relax them.
- Stuttering. You don’t want to mumble, mumble something out of place, stutter or stutter in front of your passion. Therefore, before each answer, it is better to wait one and a half to two seconds. This will be enough for the brain to group the information and form an adequate response.
- Interlocutor’s thoughts. If this is the first kiss, then for the partner it is also exciting. And even for an experienced person in this matter. It is enough to realize the fact that the couple is also experiencing some confusion, worries, and it will become easier.
- Acceptance of any outcome. Often, the fears in the head turn out to be much larger and more terrifying than they really are. You can consider your fears and make sure that they are not fatal, and time does not stop running because of them.
- Confession. The short phrase “I’m a little worried» will help relieve stress, and for both lovers. Many consider such frankness quite sweet. The same sincerity makes others open up, show trust, and generally become closer.
- Confidence. The most difficult, but most effective way is to increase self-esteem. Loving yourself makes it easier to respond to stress. The path to adequate self-perception is long and thorny. However, even attempts, small steps in this direction will be tangible.
Where fears come from and how to deal with them is already clear. But how to learn the technique of kissing? Explanations in words are not always clear. Moreover, sometimes they are even more confusing. Then what are the ways to comprehend this art?
How to learn to kiss and do it right?
How to learn to kiss correctly?
1. Watch videos.
YouTube is rightfully considered a storehouse of knowledge in this matter. It is enough to drive in the request “how to kiss properly» – and the site will give thousands of video tips. The advantage of this method is its clarity, because in the videos the kiss is shown close up, almost in a section. Although such rendered 3D graphics clips certainly exist.
The main disadvantage is the lack of practice, tactile sensation. But this can be easily dealt with by resorting to the following recommendations.
2. Ask for help from experienced friends.
Older brothers, sisters, already “experienced» friends can come to the rescue. It is enough to ask them to demonstrate in detail a kiss with their couples. Or at least just show the basic movements of the lips, tongue, if “teachers» are not in a relationship with anyone.
It is better not to ask to show the technique on yourself. This, of course, will add experience, but, firstly, all the charm of the first time will disappear, and, secondly, awkwardness will appear, and then it will be difficult to look into the eyes of a friend or acquaintance.
3. Use your fingers.
This technique is quite simple, practical, but very effective. Procedure:
- leave the index and middle fingers straightened, and bend the rest to the palm;
- slightly spread the straightened fingers to the sides – just a little bit, so that there is a small gap between them, equating to slightly parted lips;
- practice light kisses, biting. Try to gently lick the skin, checking if too much saliva remains on it;
- try to gently close your lip with your fingers, imitating the movements of your partner;
- barely pushing the pad of the thumb between two straight lines is a “model” of the tip of the tongue on which you can train;
- if this is not enough, you can bend the little finger of the other hand and use it instead of the thumb, adjusting the degree of bending so that it mimics the width of the tongue.
The method is good in that it includes theory and practice, is carried out on its own, does not require an abstruse approach. A drop of imagination, a pinch of effort – and everything will work out.
4. Use the right products.
The most common, still “old-fashioned” way is tomatoes. However, the skin of this fruit does not look like lips. It is smooth, while the lips can be rough. The skin easily glides over the tomato, but with real contact, the lips rub, if they are not licked, they can stick to each other.
Based on this, it is better to use a ripe juicy peach. It is rough, softer externally and internally, vulnerable to rough movements, and also does not contain small seeds or seeds. It is enough to bite off a small piece, forming a small notch, similar to an ajar mouth. The main thing is not to overdo it and not get an allergy.
5. Practice in front of a mirror.
The kiss requires close enough contact, so the partner will not be able to see the whole picture of the action. However, he will notice jaw movements, head tilts, facial expressions in general.
To make the facial expression say “I am the most kissable person in the world!” but not “Horror what this first time! Now I’m going to faint!”You can practice in front of a mirror.
First, the skill is honed with open eyes so that you can follow everything. Then, when the actions become more or less automatic, the eyes are closed, and all the steps taken are played “blindly”.
How to learn to kiss and do it right?
6. Rely on nature.
Sometimes it’s enough just to let go of the situation and let the event happen on its own. Reflexes will prompt the base, and then it remains only to adjust to the movements of the pair or simply start mirroring them.
If this step seems too hard, it may be better to postpone the first kiss. And time can be spent on rapprochement with a partner, overcoming a period of acute awkwardness. After crossing such a milestone, it will be much easier to decide on such an important romantic step.
What if the first attempt fails?
- Understand that life is not over, the sun still rises and sets, and the earth rotates in the same direction. However, it will be easier to endure unpleasant emotions in solitude or with a close friend/relative/dog.
- Don’t promise about retries. Perhaps not immediately and not even with the same person, but everything will work out. And in a year, if not much earlier, the memory of this incident will only cause a smile.
- Analyze, something went wrong. Maybe it’s inexperience or inattention. And sometimes the reason for failure is the lack of the same experience with a partner.
- remember reaction couples. If a person openly began to ridicule, then most likely he tried to cover up his own complexes with this laugh. If the partner is encouraged, reassured, or continued to try to kiss, then not everything is so bad. Gathering up the courage to meet him again is the best solution.
This article describes how to learn to kiss, what to do in nervous situations. However, stories about the first kiss are numerous, unlike. Someone spends weeks studying this art and still gets into a mess. And someone does not bother about this at all and just enjoys the pleasant excitement that arises before one of the most romantic events of their lives. After all, the main thing is not technique, but lively emotions between lovers.
How to learn to kiss and do it right?