How to learn to understand another person – listen and hear him? understanding a person, it is easier for you to build relationships with him, to predict his actions. So you can learn to trust him, see without rose-colored glasses how close you are. Learn 10 principles and ways to better understand people and your loved one.
How to learn to understand another person – TOP 10 ways
Photo by ANTONI SHKRABA: Pexels
- To understand other people, from time to time imagine yourself in their place.
Here they walk, face problems, listen to nature or try to survive on the last money. Imagine what they like or how they feel.
For example, howling loved one missed the train, stands at a loss, does not know what to do. Imagine that you are also running to the platform, shouting, waving your hand to be waited for. No train closes the doors and goes off into the distance.
Like your boyfriend, your shoulders droop, your lips droop, your whole face is disappointed and tired.
Imagine all this, despite the fact that you are sure that you would never miss the train. If you choose, you must have the information about the available variants.
- An important source for understanding people is active listening.
You not only hear words, sounds, intonation. By applying the principles of active listening, you empathize, join the process, merge with the other person.
- Do not forget to repeat his words, assumptions.
- Answer every question.
- Clarify if anything is unclear.
- Empathize, resent, rejoice together with the interlocutor.
- Always lean slightly towards him, as if you want to hear better and understand everything.
- Ask for the meaning of unknown words.
Speak so that you are understood.
- Observe facial expressions, gestures, speech
Each person actively uses gestures and facial expressions. They complement words where they are not enough. Or reveal the truth if your interlocutor is trying to hide or change something.
Carefully observe people, note the movements of the body, eyes, lips, handwriting features. Learn to decipher them.
Predstavim lish neeskolko momentov, which are worth paying attention to:
- A direct open look indicates that a person strives to be honest.
- A proud posture, open shoulders can speak of courage, self-confidence.
- The lowered corners of the lips are a sign of disappointment. Those raised speak of joyful expectation.
- A person breaks his fingers – probably something is bothering him.
How to listen and understand people?
- If a loved one tightens, bites his lips, he experiences anxiety, fear, uncertainty.
- Unusually loud speech is a sign of self-doubt.
- Too fast movements and slightly shaking hands indicate fussiness.
Try to mirror the movements and facial expressions of a person. So the body itself will tell you what it can feel.
Always try to empathize, sympathize with people. Avoid callousness and closeness.
If you see that it is hard for them, show sincere participation, interest, ask if you can somehow help. Act from the heart, show good intentions, apply the rules of active listening.
- game of predictions
Communicating with people, try to predict their subsequent actions, reactions, feelings.
- If you are in a cafe, imagine what they would experience if the waiter dropped the plate or spilled the coffee.
- At work, tell them you didn’t have time to prepare a report.
- Admit to your beloved that you don’t have time for a date, but you prepared a surprise for him.
In your arsenal – the ability to predict anger, disappointment, irritation, joy, expectation, daydreaming.
The more often you manage to guess, the closer you will become to a person and the more likely you are to understand him.
- Actions do not always reflect the essence
An important rule that should not be forgotten if you want to learn to understand people better is that your behavior does not always correspond to your character, temperament.
Imagine a guy in love. He does a lot of stupid things. He smiles from the top of his head, even if a passing car completely doused him. On the way from work, he can jump, run. From an excess of feelings, he kisses a neighboring partisan grandmother.
Watching each of these actions, you might think that he is in trouble with his head. No stoit tebe you see, how he meets a girl, everything falls into place. He is just boyishly in love, happy from overwhelming feelings.
So never jump to conclusions. Watch the person in different situations for some time. Its true essence may be revealed only after several months or even years.
In situations of force majeure, people, as a rule, tend to act on their own inner impulses, not having time to put on a mask or try on someone else’s role.
Of course, no one wants You to be in a strong earthquake or fire and then observe the behavior of a loved one.
But if you have to go to a hundred places in a day, help your mother, clean the house, cook dinner for 20 people, and even fly to Rome, believe me, such an intensive program will reveal any person from the most realistic side.
In a STRESS situation, there is no time to think. Your boyfriend just has to act. And while he is trying to do something, disappointment, Fears, Aggression, a tendency to irritability, infantilism come to the surface.
- Additional information
Feel free to look for additional information about the people around you. As a rule, she is available on social networks, especially if you are friends. You can learn something from friends, colleagues.
What can be advised:
- Become a friend of the person you are interested in in a social network.
So you will see most of their publications, likes. Guy likes posts about injured animals? Probably on is inclined towards empatii.
Did he follow an MMA club profile? Perhaps he decided to engage in mixed martial arts or is looking for a way to realize internal aggression.
- Talk to your loved one about the past.
Let him remember the events of childhood, youth. Ask counter questions. It is not possible to say that in analogue situations.
This will give you not only the opportunity to learn about what a man was like in the past, but also to see what happened inimim. So, if the Guy Was a hippie in the past, And now HE is the Director of a Large company, then even now one can expect unusual reactions and behavior from him.
- Dream about the future with him.
With the help of this method you will learn about his plans, ambitions. Or you will understand that the most important day of his day is today.
- Ability to accept differences
All people are different. Perhaps, under the influence of the moment, emotions, it seemed to you that you met your double, a person with whom you will be absolutely comfortable and pleasant.
However, by focusing on similarities and the appearance of complete understanding, there is a risk of missing significant differences.
Therefore, never fall for the charm of sameness and look for differences. And when you find them, appreciate them.
The best way to lose contact with a person, as well as miss the opportunity to understand him, is to start judging and betting.
Your own point replaces reality. You will be able to understand the meaning of the word.
Let them open up, look at them, as R. Bradbury said, with wide eyes, give them the opportunity to live their lives the way they want.