How to leave an abusive husband with children – why it is hard for the victim? The subject is where the people are, it is, it is not so popular on the project site. This is due to the fact that there is no culture of building healthy relationships in a couple, and it does not matter at all whether the two are officially married, and how long their relationship lasts. Recently, it has become fashionable to replace the word “violence” with “abuse”, which came to us from the English language, and in literal translation means: to abuse or insult.
The concept of abuse
Atyu is a kind of violence with an unequal entity, which can be psychological, physical. Ayuyuyu relationships, there are humiliating relationships – relationships in which artnerobly.
As a rule, they manifest themselves in humiliation, episodes of cruelty in communication or actions with the aim of suppressing the rule of the government. In this type of relationship, guys never change places, and in many ways, och engine.
Both a man and a woman can act as an abuser. However, the manifestations of violence are expressed in different ways:
- a man is inclined to show violence in the form of physical or sexual means of influence;
- woman uses methods of psychological manipulation.
Reasons for the position of the aggressor
The reasons for the fact that the partner takes the position of the aggressor are different, but more often they are:
- methods of education in the family, in which the parents themselves do not respect the personal boundaries of the child and, having matured, he begins to transfer the style of these relationships to his personal ones;
- low self-esteem and the presence of a large number of personal complexes in one of the partners. In this case, he is trying to compensate for the shortcomings of his personality for another century, and, trashaut, decides p^ p^
- the presence of severe physical illness or mental disorders;
- if the partner belongs to a heartless-manipulative interpersonal personality style. This style is characterized by manifestations of narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. Machiavellianism manifests itself in the manipulation and exploitation of other people, focus on one’s own interests, pathological deceit, disregard for the principles and rules of morality. Narcissism is characterized by narcissism, grandiosity, pride, lack of empathy. The features of psychopathy include impulsiveness and asocial behavior, selfishness, heartlessness
- mental instability, which expresses itself in the manifestation of socially negative traits of a person. Because of this, it is difficult to understand, but it is not possible to control it, it is not possible to control it. A person by any means tries to justify the manifestations of violence towards a partner.
How to get away from the abuser with minimal losses?
By svoemy type abbyuz can byt:
- physical, which is characterized by the use of violence, physical force, assault. Actions of this kind are aimed at subordinating the behavior of the victim, in order to fulfill the requirements of the aggressor;
- psychological is a more subtle form of violence that includes elements of blackmail and manipulation. Psychologically speaking, it is not possible to study it, and it is not written in a script. The aggressor, as a rule, carefully examines his victim for some time in order to identify the weaknesses of the egoistic;
- sexual, when one of the partners forces the other to have sexual intercourse with him. As a rule, this type of abuse is inextricably linked with physical or psychological types of violence, and the victim is considered by the aggressor only as an object to satisfy the desires and physiological needs of the aggressor;
- the economic type lies in the fact that the victim is placed in a dependent position from the aggressor, who completely controls the money, and, thereby, limits the partner’s social ties in society. An example is a very common situation when a woman in a family is only engaged in housekeeping and raising children, not being able to independently earn money, get an education, and establish social ties outside the home.
The main signs of an abusive relationship
Signs that you can recognize that you are in an abusive relationship:
- jealousy and constant accusations that have no real basis;
- total control, which manifests itself in all areas of activity;
- unpredictability in mood or frequent changes in the psychological states of the partner;
- biased criticism from the partner’s STORona, when any actions cause ridicule, condemnation, or nihilism. The aggressor is trying by any means available to convince you of the inadequacy of your actions. The partner exposes himself as an obsessive mentor, which is accompanied by moralizing and advice on his part. In this way he tries to convince you that he is always right;
- the partner is aggressively trying to shield all kinds of social contacts, so oh, keep over pft.
Nobody but you
To recognize the manifestations of an abusive relationship with a partner and get out of this relationship, you must:
- analyze everyday situations that often appear in your relationships, and some
It is from the analysis and from the awareness of the destructiveness and incorrectness of the principle of relationships in a couple that the process of getting the victim out of the influence of the aggressor begins. This is a very difficult process for a subordinate partner, because, as a result of prolonged exposure, the victim is poorly aware of the inferiority and destructiveness of the aggressor’s action on his personality;
- get rid of the guilt that the aggressor imposes on you.
It is not necessary to be brave on that day because of the postal, emotional, and negative effects.
The task of these elements of manipulation, as a rule, is a long silence, ignoring your presence, tantrums, not at all finding compromises or maintaining a normal level of relationships, but rather subjugation and the ability to use your physical and mental resources without giving anything in return. This is a good incentive to understand the need for you to be in this relationship;
- don’t expect to change the aggressor.
This illusion of a “victim of circumstances”, which is skillfully created by the aggressor, is just another element of manipulation. Set your boundaries clearly.
The outcome of an abusive relationship can only be your choice. No one but you will be able to make a decision: to remain in the position of a victim or to free yourself. In any case, you must understand that these relationships are the way to the end result of winding a full early life.