How to leave the guy you live with for another? I think many have had a situation where you meet a guy, he is all so positive. Caring, attentive, well-mannered, always ready to help and in general his inner qualities are ideal
No in at some point, you begin to understand that somehow everything is too sugary, sugary. And you are increasingly beginning to visit the thought that you should leave. Such situations are far from uncommon. Let’s try to figure out why this happens and how to leave a good guy.
Why don’t women like nice guys?
And it’s true, there is a paradoxical reality: girls, women dream of a strong and healthy family, at the same time preferring to build relationships with men who bring disappointment, pain and loss of faith in themselves and people in general into their lives.
So why do girls like bad boys so much?
- Bad family example.
The theory that a woman chooses partners, appearance and behavior, habits and principles similar to her father, has a place to be.
But this does not happen in some mysterious way. The mechanism is very simple. Relationships of parents, no matter how imperfect they are, are deposited in the picture of the world of the girl, she perceives foreign language. This is called a pattern of behavior (sample). Of course, there are situations when there is a need to get rid of such installations.
Suppose a girl grew up in a family where domestic violence was present. Dad used physical force on mom. The daughter at that moment experienced a lot of negative emotions: fear, anxiety, hatred.
However, realizing the whole abnormality of the situation, when building a family, she is able to enter into a relationship with a person who will also be aggressive towards her family. Indeed, on the subconscious, this format of relations corresponds to her ideas about a normal family.
- Psychological trauma.
Often, such trauma can be observed in girls whose parents are divorced. The child is going through hard, Pain leaves a certain imprint on the formation of love and attitude towards men in general.
In adulthood, because of the fear of Loss, the Girl Acts as if the opposite is true, constantly “plunging into” negative devaluing relationships. That is why it is worth working through all your childhood and not only injuries.
- False idea of love.
Some girls suggest that love is usually pain, suffering and a lot of emotions “on the verge”. And if everything in a relationship is smooth, calm, comfortable and stable with a man, it leads them to the idea that this is all-pervading.
How to say goodbye to a man?
To a greater extent, it depends on the temperament and character of the person. However, it should be understood that when passion and strong feelings pass, you will definitely want calmness and harmony in relationships, and not scandals and violent clarification.
- Bad guys seem to be more sensual and passionate.
In fact, this is not always the case. Sensuality can be present in any person. However, he is not always ready to open it immediately. “Bad” guys are just more open and liberated, which is what attracts women.
However, they both quickly reveal themselves to the chosen one, and are easily able to switch to another. A calm guy is able to open up for a long time, but this trait should not be considered as negative.
How do you know when a good guy is worth breaking up with?
As you already understood, it’s not worth it to rush to part with a guy who seems too good to you. He may well open up. No way out of the ordinary, but not in the same way as you like.
- You are not attracted to him as a man.
Let’s say you’re tired of a relationship that hurts you. And your friend invites you to meet a young man. On is kind, good and not able to offend anyone. You really appreciated his spiritual and human qualities, but you don’t like him at all outwardly.
Of course, it happens that when you meet a girl, a guy doesn’t like it, only then, she begins to experience it from neter. However, if several months have passed since you met, and you still don’t have anything, it’s hardly possible that you build relationship with him.
You can hardly stand his tediousness. Irritation and the desire to leave do not leave you when you communicate with them. In fact, if now, at the very beginning of a relationship, you have to endure some of his shortcomings, then later this irritation will only increase.
- The only thing holding you back is a sense of duty.
If you feel nothing for him, except for the fear of offending, upsetting. It’s up to you, so you can do it and you’ve got it. Understand that this is not so, you do not owe anything to anyone. Because and he was born in the morning, so that the woman has little to say about it.
- You feel sorry for him.
In the event that pity holds you back, there is also no point in your relationship. Feelings are necessary anyway. Pity is humiliating for a man.
In any case, if in doubt, try to understand the true feelings and desires. However, if there is a clear certainty that this is not your person and you have decided to part with him, think about how best to do it.
How to break up with a good guy?
A good guy does not want to offend. He is so sincere and kind to you that you start to be unworthy and wrong when you want to part with him.
However, it is worth remembering that your life is the main value for you, therefore, no matter how selfish it may sound, you should think first of all about your happiness and well-being. That is why we will try to figure out how it would be better to bring your relationship to its logical conclusion.
- Conversation format.
Separation should be reported in person, not over the phone. It’s even worse if you do it in a message. He really deserves that you explain to him what the reason is and why you made such a decision, face to face.
- Place for conversation.
It is worth while to see it, so it is not possible to buy it. It is possible to progest by the park, to the extent that it is possible in the coffee. In any case, it should not be noisy and not too crowded.
Try to speak softly, but without pity in your voice. Try not to make excuses. Speak like it is. Sincerity and truth, whatever it is, is the best thing you can do for him. But at the same time, be still correct, show respect for the interlocutor, listen if necessary.
- Don’t talk about flaws.
No word on the par, so on the zanuda and the slicing of the horns. It is necessary to save and dive into faults. This is done in a complete system and in a non-conforming manner. But for some girl it will be perfect.
- Explain the reason with reference to yourself.
It is possible to say: “I decided to leave, due to the fact that I did not have feelings”, “My life plans and aspirations are different from yours.” These phrases speak personally about you, without hurting his vanity.
- Give thanks for everything.
Gratitude is necessary not only for him, but also for you. After parting, you will feel less guilty if you express your feelings to him from the bottom of your heart. On the other hand, it’s worthwhile.
- Don’t make the conversation too long.
If the conversation starts to drag on endlessly, the interlocutor will persuade you to give him another chance, the conversation is over. However, it is possible for a month, not before this is done in your home, translating it into the person.
Of course, no one wants to offend a good person. However, parting is always unpleasant. Your task is to discuss your breakup with the young man, in the context of the most correct and delicate conversation.
Of course, if you manage to maintain warm friendships after parting, that’s great. No day, it is not necessary that this is done, it is not distributed. Everyone has his own path. Try to focus on yourself, on your desires and stop feeling guilty. Falling in love is chemistry and it’s not your fault that it didn’t happen to you.