How to live together with an ex-husband after divorce under the same roof? Celebrities who are going through a divorce, This action is accompanied by scandals of the division of jointly acquired yachts, mansions, and expensive cars.
Ordinary people are often forced to live under the same roof for some time. The reasons may be different, and often the most important is the very dwelling, which is not yet clear how to share. Do you want, do you want to know what you are talking about and not see the “charms” of communal quarters?
How do keep everyone’s personal space?
After a divorce, the partners gradually become far from each other not only emotionally, but also physically. The kitchen is divided into “zones”, in the refrigerator, as well as in the closet, each has its shelf. You can no longer drink from his mug, and he has no right to encroach on your chocolates.
It becomes quite difficult not to quarrel because the boundaries of one of the partners have been violated.
Remember that after a divorce, your life should be better than it was in an unhappy marriage. Think about your desires that you had shortly before the divorce, and start fulfilling them.
This will help you feel some freedom from the routine and everyday conversations with your ex.
Also, if you follow some rules, you can make your life much easier:
- Think about how you can ease the forced neighborhood.
The problem is that it is possible to do so after posting. For example, you can stop accusing each other of making a mess if you agree to chip in and turn to a cleaning lady for services.
- Discuss all the nuances with your ex-husband.
It’s important to do it calmly. It’s in your best interest. No one needs to drive around the same problems in a circle, as well as intersect once again.
You can set a schedule for using the bathroom or using the stove. This is necessary so as not to put each other under their feet.
- Don’t get in the habit of taking revenge for every little thing.
When you live in such a semblance of a communal apartment, any habit of the “neighbor” can become annoying. Respect your joint past and do not spit in his dumplings. No rusty and is-a to go so that you can see it in one of the corridors.
- The housing issue must remain open.
Perhaps you and your ex-husband will be able to establish a separate life. Not letting go of the situation and relaxing, in any case, is impossible.
You will not be able to gain psychological freedom if you stay with him to live under the same roof.
Life after divorce
- You are free! Rejoice.
Yes, the new life is still overshadowed by such a misunderstanding as to the ex-husband in the next room. No, the burden of a servant has been removed from you: you do not need him to cook a three-course dinner, wash his socks and be “free” un.
You can go out with your friends and not explain anything. Manage money on your own, and buy sweets, knowing that no one will covet them.
It is important to remain adequate in such a difficult situation and solve problems as they arise. But be sure to set yourself up for the fact that this is temporary, and soon you will finally live separately.
What to do if there are children?
If you have all the details and then you can do it in one room, to this too much. You are forced to set a good example and keep peace and harmony for the sake of the family.
The child must continue to feel needed and loved in this family. And that becomes impossible when there are quarrels in the house between “bastard father” and “hysterical mother”.
If your divorce was “civilized”, then the child will not endure it so painfully. The first thing you see, it is possible to change the situation, and it is too small to do so.
For a growing person, the phrase that mom and dad are no longer together should not become an on-duty phrase, but it’s still thicker.
How to behave:
- Be ready for questions.
Children are very perceptive and curious. Your child may ask if you love dad. It is better to answer with restraint, but benevolently, that you are treated very well, in a friendly way.
- Keep up appearances.
It’s about talking to your ex-husband. Be friendly and moderately restrained. In conversations with children, your parents, and girlfriends, do not pour slops on your ex-spouse.
Ask him the same. Explain this by the need to save face in front of the children and act in their interests.
- Don’t hide your divorce.
If the child is older than 6 years, then the truth will have to be told. A growing person should not consider the relationship between mom and dad as the norm, so as not to transfer this model to his mind.
- No word in the spy child.
Maybe you are very interested in what your ex-spouse does in his free time. No pull in your manipulations of children. The less you do such things, the easier it will be for you all to exist in one apartment.
Yes, children can certainly complicate things. No one – has the washing machine and new people. Therefore, it is important to preserve not only your psychological comfort but also the one who is under your responsibility.
What if feelings remain?
After a divorce, feelings do not always cool down mutually. One of the partners may still love the other. And then forced cohabitation turns into a huge STRess.
Some rules should be followed to try to alleviate the situation:
- Arrange a rendezvous outside the home.
Speak in some new romance and that is not the name of the drug, it is what you want.
Block those thoughts that make you nostalgic or, conversely, boil with resentment. Such memories bind you and do not allow you to move on. Stop thinking about what your ex would say and don’t wait for his reaction.
Only then, living under the same roof, can you feel like a self-sufficient and whole person.
- Strictly mark personal boundaries and the boundaries of your relationship.
No provocations and manipulations on intima. No need to wait before you know it. Do not keep up conversations on “sensitive” topics, and once again do not touch your ex-man.
- Try to stay friends.
It is difficult and not everyone succeeds. No way you can see and feel emotionally. By calming the storm raging within, you can close your eyes to some of the annoying things that vein is.
If you continue to treat each other with warmth and respect, your social circle will not have to break and make a choice between you. Friends and parents are not to blame for the discord between you.
Unfortunately, you got divorced and your happy years are in the past. No word on the subject, so that the results are clear. Feelings will fade away, and you will again feel full of energy and ready for discoveries.
Not only that, but you are aware of the fact that there are few people in the world. It is better to solve this unpleasant housing problem as soon as possible so that both you and your former life partner can fully exhale and take a deep breath.