How to live with an unloved person and why not for the sake of children? Surely, when you thought about your family life, you imagined it as a fairy tale, where you are madly in love with each other, where there are no quarrels and boredom. But, growing up, comes with the realization that living together is not so easy.
It happens that the feelings for the once beloved man pass, there remains either disappointment, or irritation, or equal. And a serious question arises – is it worth continuing to live with a person whom you no longer love?
Why are the feelings gone?
To find the answer to this question, you need to deal with your feelings. They are not as simple as it seems at first glance. Because otherwise, you wouldn’t be asking this question.
Now your attention is focused on your husband. You see what annoys you in him, what he does wrong, which causes indifference. And you need to pay attention to yourself and your experiences. First, you need to understand exactly what situation you are in:
- in front of you
- at the beginning of the relationship, you had a storm of emotions, passion, and now this is no longer there;
- you have been married for 5-8 years and you feel that life is filled with routine, everyday life and boredom. Nothing pleases you and it seems meaningless;
- your feelings have changed because of the offense, conflict, betrayal.
All these are 4 completely different situations. And the answer to the question – whether to stay with an unloved husband – will be different.
If there were no feelings from the very beginning, and you had to enter into marriage under the pressure of circumstances? Most likely, love will not arise. No in this case you need it, and what is it that you say it is like?
It can be security, material well-being, support, protection from loneliness, confidence in the future, and FRIENDLY relations. Decide for yourself if you’re ready to give it all up.
Love or infatuation
If at the beginning of the relationship there was a lot of passion and romance, And after about 3 years everything changed, then most likely it was not loved, but falling in love. This is an affective feeling that occurs at the very beginning of a relationship and in which:
- people do not notice each other’s shortcomings;
- they want to spend all their free time together;
- immersed in their feelings and do not notice anything around;
- for psychologically addicted drugs or drugs.
But falling in love never lasts long. Ideally, it flows into love. There is not always so much passion in it, but there is a lot of acceptance, attention, care, and trust. And this is quite normal.
Byvaet, that is a willingness to procure and that is given to the dog. No, most likely he is the same, you just took off your “rose-colored glasses”, and when the passion at the level of physiology passed, you realized that this is not the person you need.
In this case, you need to clearly understand what is the ideal marriage for you. If you confuse falling in love with love, then you need to understand that the second can last a lifetime, and falling in love – no more than 3 years.
I don’t love my husband but I don’t know what to do
It is also called the crisis of 7 years, but this is an approximate figure. Almost every couple faces it. The love has passed, life has settled down, and the roles are distributed. You already know each other well, and know your goals and plans for life.
At such moments, a subconscious question arises – “is that all”? Is this a monotonous way for a cup in the room and then there is one? If you have a crisis of 7 years, then you definitely should not get divorced. This is a completely normal stage of a relationship.
You need to talk to each other, set new goals, find a dream, and add variety to life, and not only family life. We need to fall in love with each other again because it is quite possible.
This crisis, if you overcome it, will help you and your husband to better understand yourself, the meaning of your life, and define the limit. And the relationship will move to a new level.
Conflict Vs. perecherknul
It’s another matter when there were feelings, and it wasn’t boring in marriage, and falling in love had long flowed into love, but suddenly a man did something that undermined your trust. Either quarrels or unresolved conflicts have accumulated so much that there is no room left for positive emotions.
No, that is, that is, it is not so. To fix everything you need:
- understand the cause of their negative emotions and what is behind them;
- try to solve the problem, don’t give it up there, and don’t ignore the problem;
- learn to constructively resolve conflicts, and not “attack” each other with reproaches;
- talk frankly with your husband about your feelings and experiences;
- work together to develop a plan of action that will help you restore the relationship.
How to make a decision?
First, you need to answer important questions for yourself. What is love for you? What did you expect from marriage? Naskolko two words that are real?
What gives you this marriage? What is good in a man who is next to you? Will you be happier without him? What’s stopping you from making a decision? When thinking about divorce, do you focus only on your feelings or social beliefs?
When a woman wonders whether to leave her husband, she is overwhelmed with many doubts and fears. She thinks about possible loneliness, financial difficulties, how this will affect the children, and how the otreazkir bly by bly.
All these questions only distract and do not allow you to see a clear answer. Therefore, you need to ask another, more important pig – and what do you want yourself? Are you saying that you are not there?
Imagine your life in 5 years. Draw two clear, as realistic pictures as possible. In one thousand this man, and in the other without him. Which one do you look happier in? Which one makes you smile?
There is a simple psychological technique that will help you find the answer. Take a deep breath. Imagine how your husband now comes and sits opposite you. What is he wearing? What is his facial expression?
Predstav, on the beret of the word on the ruk, say in the glass and the word: «yes, you are sorry».
What did you experience in the first place? Fear, resentment, indignation? Is it carried out with you, is it possible for you to return it, and is it not possible to return it?
Listen to yourself and the reaction of your body. Have you straightened your shoulders, and calmed down? Or tensed up?
After all, when asking the question of whether it is worth staying with your husband, your subconscious already knows the answer. And reading various articles, you want to find confirmation of your decision. The bottom line is that only you know the answer.
If you decide to stay in this marriage, then you need to think about how to love your husband again, how to restore emotional contact, return passion. If you decide to leave, work through the fears and unproductive attitudes that are holding you back.
Relationship crisis, The questions you ask is the time to take charge of your life and the decisions you make. Produmaty possledstvya svoego vybora and by ready for them.