How to maintain a relationship at a distance with a guy and passion – advice from a psychologist? Long-distance relationships are a serious test for any couple. It doesn’t matter how much you love each other, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, it doesn’t matter how faithful you are to each other. Distance is a problem that can put even the strongest feelings into question. Distance is also something that can strengthen your relationship and give it more emotionality and depth.
5 principles for a happy long-distance relationship
Psychologically, it is possible for 5 principles to be identified, which may include those that are different on the resolution:
- avoid uncertainty;
- keep emotional contact;
- do not blame each other;
- give up jealousy;
- remind yourself of what matters most.
How and why to avoid uncertainty?
You and your partner must know the date when the separation will end. This knowledge often relieves feelings of anxiety and tension.
There are situations when it is impossible to know. Are such relationships doomed to fail? net. No in that case it isn’t so late that the water blows. Use every opportunity for a personal meeting. Come to each other, find time for each other, especially on holidays, when people feel sleep most acutely. These meetings are the most valuable thing you can give to each other.
6 stages of the rest of the world
Keep EMOTIONAL contact
Is it possible to stay together, being thousands of kilometers apart? Psychologists say that this is quite possible. Moreover, do not think that if you live together, you a priori retain EMO-rational contact.
Lying on the bed, turned away from each other, there can be a distance between you that is much more than different not. Because getting on a plane and meeting can be easier than turning around and finding a common language where contact is completely lost, replaced by jealousy, resentment and conflict.
How to stay in touch when you are building a long distance relationship? There are a few simple rules:
- agree on a connection;
- price in partner’s life;
First, and most important, stay connected. Talk, video chat, text, wish each other good morning and good night. It is very important, especially if one of the partners Has little free time or you are separated by different time zones, to make a schedule. Choose a time when it will be convenient for both of you to communicate, when nothing will distract you.
Plan, negotiate. It is important to agree not only when you communicate, but also how often. How many times a day do you need to be in touch in order to feel loved and not to lose emotional love? After all, your needs may be different. One message per day may be enough for him. And you? Does he know how much you need so that you don’t feel lonely? If not, then you need to tell him.
Try to be present in each other’s lives. Be interested in business, talk about feelings, tell how your day went, share your impressions. Watch “together” the same films, discuss them. Exchange your things, don’t forget each other’s scent. You can come up with any of your own rituals that will emphasize the commonality of your life, the involvement of a friend.
No wine drug
Never blame your partner for putting you in this situation. Phrases: I told you, I knew from the very beginning that it would be like this, I was always sure that … These phrases will aggravate the sieve. It doesn’t matter who left and who stayed. It doesn’t matter what goals your partner is pursuing. What matters is that the relationship you build together. You, as two adults, discussed the situation and made a joint decision. You both talked about the difficulties that could arise during a long-distance relationship, you both accepted it.
After all, even before the start of such a relationship, another decision could have been made. For example, forbid the partner to leave. Why didn’t this happen? Because you love him and share the importance of the goals that the partner has set for himself.
And it was possible to make another decision, for example, to end the relationship for the time of separation or forever. If you don’t plan on the search, you may want to know what you’re talking about. When you find yourself in a Long Distance Relationship Situation, both of you have made a conscious decision and do not shift the blame or responsibility to the other.
Jealousy at a distance
Don’t ask for the information you need to know about it. “He has fun there”. He is fine without me. Perhaps he met someone.” All this is a manifestation of longing for your partner. You need to be able to clearly separate your fantasies generated by the unknown, your anxiety, and the real situation. No need to say that it is not possible to do so.
Not produced and on the part. If you “twist” yourself, sooner or later irritation will pour out on a partner who may simply be confused, because he did not even imagine what was happening inside you.
How to prevent this?
First, try to reduce the degree of uncertainty, both in yourself and in your partner. Tell us how your day went, with whom you talked, what feelings you experienced. Let your partner do the same.
Second, share your concerns. No, never make baseless accusations or claims. After all, these are your feelings and thoughts – so talk about them in the format of “I-messages”. Be sure to lead such conversations in a positive way, always bring them to the important.
And the most important thing in your fears, jealousy and anxiety is that you love him and are afraid to lose him. The most important thing in a long-distance relationship is unconditional trust.
Remember the main
Remind each other of the value and significance of your relationship, your love. The separation will end sooner or later. Remember the reasons for this separation and what it is for. Why is it important to live separately now? And what positive aspects it will bring to your life in the future. Share with what is happening, talk about the most important and small things. Submit the drugs and propagate them.
By following these simple tips, you will not only be able to safely survive the time spent away from each other, you can even strengthen your relationship, get even closer and understand that your love can overcome any difficulties.
Long-distance relationships are not only problems, they are also an occasion to “stir up” your feelings. You miss and think about your partner. Each of your meetings after parting is a real holiday, an extravaganza of feelings, warmed up by a long wait.
Each meeting on emotionality can be like a first date, which both of you have been looking forward to with excitement and impatience.
It is at a distance that you realize how dear to each other and how much you need each other. This awareness is often lost against the background of everyday life, everyday problems, and routine, when you put up with each other’s habits, decide who and what does the housework. No in other ways on the plan that this is what you want on the plan, it is only that way – it is and it is in the woods.