How to make your husband your friend – advice from a psychologist. People are used to sharing friendship and love. There are spouses and there are friends. At best, some are friends with others, or at least by pretend. No need to worry about the drugs? How can it affect marriage? Is it possible to stop it? Or is friendship between a man and a woman a fiction?
How to make your husband your friend?
Let’s start with the fact that friendship between a man and a woman certainly exists. And friendship between spouses not only provides a number of benefits and strengthens the marriage. It is also seen as a completely natural development of romantic relationships.
When people just fall in love with each other, they feel good together, even if there is nothing in common between them. “Happy hormones” like oxytocin and dopamine make them feel attracted, intoxicating, and people feel energized and euphoric. No way sostoyanie ne can last forever.
People get used to each other, having met after a working day, they no longer experience such excitement. It’s good if they work on relationships and maintain a sense of passion.
But falling in love alone won’t take you far. When it passes, ideally, the relationship between a man and a woman should be transformed into something more: a genuine emotional intimacy, in which there is trust, a sense of belonging, openness and stability.
This is difficult to do if people discover that apart from passion, there is nothing else between them: they have different interests, outlooks on life, hobbies, goals, values. In simple terms, they simply have nothing to talk about with each other.
And maintaining such a relationship is quite difficult. There is boredom, irritation, misunderstanding. People are not interested in being together.
According to data from the National Bureau of Economic Research (USA), spouses who view their partners as friends build a longer and happier marriage.
If you are aware of it, it is possible to say that it is possible to choose among the following:
- Common interests and activities appear, during which people constantly exchange positive emotions and enrich their experience;
- boredom disappears from relationships, because spouses have something to talk about, in is always interesting;
- a deeper trust and empathy is formed – according to the 2013 “Human brains are hardwired empathy friendship study shows” research conducted at the University of Virginia, it is friendship that forms the feeling “You are a part of me”;
- the couple becomes not just lovers, but a team united by common goals and life position;
The psychology of the relationship between husband and wife
- in marriage, there is more trust due to the emotional connection with each other, because the spouses realize that they are connected by something more than physical attraction and a common living space;
- supeham of your soulmate, as your own;
- they experience a feeling of complete acceptance of each other, therefore, in communication where there is friendship, there is more frankness and space in order to be themselves.
All this makes marriage not only strong, but also significantly improves the quality of family relationships, the psychological atmosphere.
How to make your husband your friend?
Friendships usually develop spontaneously and naturally. People who begin to communicate with each other do not even think that this can lead to the fact that they become best friends.
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Here are some tips to help you make friends with your husband:
- start sharing his hobbies or start new ones that will be of interest to both of you, start joint projects;
- give him support;
- be frank, do not deceive him and keep your promises;
- build equal relationships, where both partners are attentive to each other;
- give up the attitude of “You must” or “I must”
- trust your husband;
- watch movies together, read books, discuss them, share impressions;
- try to be sincere in everything, do not try to keep your face and encourage his openness and frankness, a man must understand that if he does something that you do not agree with, he will not run into a scandal;
- you need to know what you are talking about and the new information;
- always be on his side, protect your husband when dealing with third parties, and do not complain about him and do not expose him as a pilgrim;
- do not discuss your relationship with other people, talk about them with your husband;
- you will hear the prostranstvo, it is possible to talk about the subject, it is on the other side of the road;
- laugh more, watch comedies, joke with each other, develop your sense of humor.
The key to friendship is acceptance. It is important to realize that next to you is another, independent person who has the right to his own opinion, his own mistakes. You don’t have to agree on everything.
In friendly relations, people are on an equal footing, no one suppresses each other, does not put himself above, does not believe that he has the right to teach a partner, suppress his free will and right to choose. Friendship is about being able to put yourself in a man’s shoes and understand how he feels.
It is also important that there is openness between you. You should not seem perfect, correct, suitable. Friends are not those people who are “convenient” for each other, but those who can be themselves while being together.
Friendship allows you to be not only lovers, but also mentors, role models, comrades and assistants in business, interesting conversationalists, a reflection of each other, as well as a source of energy and the most important psychological resource.
When spouses become friends, this leads to the fact that they can fulfill much more needs in family relationships than if there was only love between them. These people become really interested in each other.
The advantage of friendship is that it does not depend on the level of attraction or the amount of hormones, because it is very unflattering.
Whereas friendship is a spiritual and EMOtional community that brings people together. Such relationships can be maintained for years, they are felt as something valuable, unique, something for which you need to giggle.