How to Meet a Girl: 10 Basic Rules for Dating Acquaintance for many guys and men is a difficult task. And it doesn’t matter where it happens – on the Internet or in reality. Difficulties almost always arise. The main problem is the fear of starting. What if she refuses? Or does she have a boyfriend? Or will her girlfriends start joking around? What if the right words don’t come to mind in time? These 10 recommendations will tell you how to get to know a girl in such a way that you have a high chance of arousing her sympathy.
1. Show determination and self-confidence.
What girl wants to get acquainted with a guy who stoops, stutters, and is generally unclear what he wants? Apparently, only the one who herself suffers from extremely low self-esteem is on the verge of despair. If you want to find a more interesting young lady, you yourself will have to show firmness.
Eliminating fears or complexes is a long task. What to do when you want to get acquainted here and now?
Engage body language. In many ways, it betrays uncertainty, stiffness. Therefore, you can go from the opposite – to cope with your gestures, facial expressions, postures in order to give yourself decisiveness. And both external and internal. For this it is enough:
- straighten your back, straighten your shoulders, take them back, then down;
- make sure that the gaze is directed straight, the neck is even, but not tense;
- relax facial muscles, remember a light friendly smile;
- make sure that when walking, knees and socks look straight, and not at each other;
- avoid closed postures – crossed arms or legs, palms pressed to the lower part of the face, etc.;
- pay attention to the length of the step, make the gait moderately unhurried.
The same goes for speech… It is advisable not to try to chatter or fake your voice. As a rule, attempts to become someone else end in complete failure. Being yourself is another sign of confidence.
If this is correspondence, then the main focus will be shifted to vocabulary and literacy. Here, decisiveness will be conveyed through phrases. Therefore asking “Can I meet with you?” it is better to replace it with a confident “Hi, I’m Pasha, and I would really like to get to know you better…
How to Meet a Girl: 10 Basic Rules for Dating
2. Do not forget about the sense of tact.
Sometimes “cool pickup artists” make a huge mistake, confusing decisiveness with rudeness. No woman likes being pressured. Persistence greatly spoils the first impression. She also makes her companion feel uncomfortable or even unsafe. Yes, and no one canceled politeness. Golden mean – is to be persistent, but taking into account the opinion of the lady.
- A task: invite on a date.
- extremes: “I’m waiting tomorrow at the cafe at exactly 6 pm without any “buts” and “excuses” (uncompromising) and do you want to go to the cafe with me tomorrow? And the day after tomorrow? Umm, well, if you want, then you can go to the movies”(indecision).
- Output: “I invite you on a date (perseverance). Where and when would you like to go? (respect for her opinion).”
It is also better not to get acquainted with a girl who has just quarreled with someone, is in a circle of friends, or is seriously busy with something. The obvious presence of a boyfriend, even if there are problems in their couple, is another reason to try your luck with another.
3. Turn on observation.
The situation, the appearance of the girl, her profile in social networks is a storehouse of information about her. Is she wearing a Marvel T-shirt? Why not ask which of the characters in these comics or the MCU she likes the most. Listening to rock? Great, you can praise the cool musical taste. Leaving the cafe? Ask what dish in this institution she would recommend.
Such seemingly trifles result in long conversations with mutual rapprochement. Girls are flattered that guys show attention, interest, respect for their tastes and opinions. In addition, “preliminary analysis” is a great way to understand in advance whether there is something in common and what kind of person she is.
4. Watch her reaction.
Her behavior will tell you where to turn the conversation or what to do to please her. Sometimes girls like to give hints:
- “The roses smell especially sweet this year” (“It would be nice if you bought me a bouquet”);
- “Look, what a beautiful bouquet that woman has!” (“I really want to have the same one!”);
- “By the way, in the flower shop around the corner is the season of discounts“ (Yes, buy! Me! Finally! Flowers! ).
And sometimes you have to guess at all by the language of her body. Retracts, moves away – she does not like the current topic or actions. She smiles without stopping and for a special reason – she is embarrassed or something is not clear. Fixes her hair – flirts. He goes over small objects in his hands – he is worried. Runs away – looks like she won’t come on a date. Things are important, I guess.
In an online chat, all signs play a role. If she suddenly changed the style of her correspondence (started using three dots, for example), this is an occasion to reconsider the dialogue. She abruptly stopped sending emoticons – it’s time to ask the question “Is everything okay?”. Periods appeared at the end of sentences, although there were none before – this is a very serious conversation or she is unhappy.
How to Meet a Girl: 10 Basic Rules for Dating
5. Offer help.
It’s no secret that girls have been waiting for heroes since childhood, like princes on a white horse. With age, only the requirements for a knight’s vehicle change. In any case, the offer of help and willingness to act will please any woman.
- Carries heavy or uncomfortable bags – offer to carry them (at the same time you can find out her address).
- Obviously rubbed her feet with shoes – buy a couple of bactericidal patches.
- Dreamily looks at the display case with a chocolate cupcake – to give it to her (yes, this is also a help).
- Lost – suggest the way, lead.
- In a bad mood – go for a walk with her or send some really funny (and not vulgar) memes.
But the offer to just listen at the first stages of acquaintance often turns out to be a mistake. This is a great way to get into the friend zone without getting out. So the noble role of “girlfriend” at first is desirable to avoid in every possible way.
6. Avoid obsession.
It is better not to tie the search for a girl for a romantic acquaintance to a specific time or place. If you constantly focus on one thing, you can miss a lot of opportunities.
The same goes for ways to get a name, get a phone number, make a date, or other such aspirations. Perhaps failures in dating women arise precisely because of this unwillingness to be more flexible.
Improvisation, resourcefulness, ingenuity – this is what will really help when meeting. You may need to work a little on yourself in this direction to be successful. At the same time, it will also be a good idea to learn how to cope with stress and fear, since it is they who usually prevent you from freely acting on the situation.
How to Meet a Girl: 10 Basic Rules for Dating
7. Remember individuality.
Stereotypes, preconceived notions when meeting people can ruin everything. Generalization leads to wrong conclusions and use of inefficient methods. A girl with a tattoo or gum is not necessarily childish or easily accessible. A blonde can be a brilliant Ph.D., and a redhead can be a dreamy quiet.
Each woman requires a special approach and pays attention to only one detail that is important to her. If you take into account precisely her interests, desires, she will be satisfied, which means she is more likely to give her phone number.
8. Use compliments correctly.
Showering with compliments, as well as their complete absence, threatens with refusal. In the first case, the man will look frivolous, windy. In the second – insufficiently interested in a new acquaintance.
The compliment itself also plays a role. It’s best to avoid typical phrases like “You’re beautiful” or “Great eyes.” But even with excessive ingenuity, it is better to be careful. Most likely, she will not understand words like “Wow, your hair ends are so straight” or “This dress matches your skin color perfectly.”
It is better to say what exactly you like in a woman and how this affects her image as a whole. A few examples:
- “Mmmm, you smell really good. Refined scent. Probably, you are the same by nature – tender and sensual “;
- “I respect girls who care about their inner development. I’m sure you’re a very interesting and deep personality.” (if she, for example, read a book);
- “I love your freckles so much. They make you very sweet, even mischievous, childishly naughty…
If you want to use ready-made phrases, it is better to choose the most versatile ones. And ideally, compliment them with a special detail that is peculiar only to a particular lady. It is also worth reading the article: “Compliments for a girl or 100 ideas to make her smile“.
How to Meet a Girl: 10 Basic Rules for Dating
9. Do not forget about yourself.
Often a man is so carried away by the goal of pleasing a woman that he forgets to ask himself a banal question: “Does she like to me?». In pursuit of her attention and favor, it is very important not to forget about your own priorities.
If it turned out that the character or views of the girl are not particularly liked, it is better to stop communicating with her in time. Of course, you should not abruptly end the conversation, but you can simply not make an appointment. Especially if it is done out of pity, sports interest, or desperation.
In fact, guys continue to win the favor of their chosen ones by inertia, without much thought but do they need it at all. The call not to forget about yourself is especially significant in situations where the young lady:
- communicates rudely, expresses disrespect, uses sarcasm and mockery;
- trying to manipulate, frankly control a man;
- is only interested in the purse of a new acquaintance;
- unnecessarily naughty builds a lot of himself.
Politely ending the conversation is the best solution in these cases. Thus, the guy will save time for himself with nerves, and he will not give hope to the girl.
10. Accept “no” appropriately.
There are two mistakes related to this item:
- acting rude or strange immediately after being rejected;
- generally, give up after a negative answer.
A woman is not obliged to immediately feel sympathy for a man or agree to get to know him. Refusal is her personal right. Another thing is how she presents her refusal. If it is polite and calm, then this deserves respect for her personal space and herself as a person. And to mess with a rude one is more expensive for yourself.
- One lady rejected and you don’t want to try again? How much would a person achieve in life if he always made only one attempt? Obviously not.
- If two or three girls refused, I want to abandon all these acquaintances. But in fact, stopping trying to find your chosen one is also a so-so prospect and a weakness of character.
- But if rejected by more than 5 different women, this is an occasion to think about your dating methods. It may be necessary to revise and change some techniques.
Knowing how to get to know a girl correctly, you can count on a date, her interest, a good attitude towards yourself, even improved self-esteem. The first and hardest step is to overcome shyness and fear of rejection. But if you perceive a new acquaintance as something quite ordinary, remember that a girl can also worry, and not get hung up on risk, everything will go perfectly.
How to Meet a Girl: 10 Basic Rules for Dating
