A woman (female) is evolutionarily arranged in such a way that she consciously or unconsciously looks for a good father for her offspring. A reliable male who will take care of her and the cubs when she is helpless. For women, the status of their relationship matters a lot.
Difficulties in relationships and their understanding in men and women
Now you may not want a serious relationship and get married, but this is our nature – over time, thoughts about the family and the child will appear in your head. For some, this happens later, for others, earlier, and for some girls, the desire to calm down remains completely unknown.
For the overwhelming majority, over time, the status of the woman herself becomes important: marriage demonstrates to the whole world that she has taken place as a mother and wife. A serious relationship demonstrates that she is in demand as a woman. The man chose her.
Men do not have such an evolutionary feature, it is enough for them that the female is nearby. Even better if there are many females. Males of any species have a different task than females – to pass on as much genetic material as possible to offspring.
Some men avoid serious relationships for fear of limiting their sexual freedom. If men and women have different goals, you will have to find ways to bring them to a common denominator.
There are men who avoid responsibility and rigid frameworks. They only think of themselves as free. Not that it isn’t possible to change it, you should try to solve the problem, and you should be able to do it.
“A man hopes that a woman will not change, and a woman hopes that she will.”
In order to become a real couple, you will have to work on yourself and relationships. Relationships should always be invested in, they do not fall from the sky, but develop gradually.
And remember that in a relationship you can only go half way, you can’t go all the way alone. This is a couple dance.
Psychologist’s advice for a girl in an open relationship
- Find out how he generally feels about serious relationships.
Talk about his family, upbringing, his father and mother. You need to know how and under what conditions his personality was formed. If you don’t want to live with the mother, this will lead to antipathy in the Zhenskie village.
How to turn an open relationship into a serious one?
Many problems come from childhood. Upbringing, the presence of a father and the nature of the mother play a role. A lot of factors. If there are obvious negative beliefs or fear (before a woman, before responsibility, before betrayal), you need to contact a psychologist-psychotherapist and work them out. Take a course of psychotherapy and replace irrational beliefs with adaptive ones.
- Talk to him frankly about your desires.
This is fine. Men appreciate such actions. Sometimes this allows them to avoid making a decision.
- Learn to generally accept him for who he is.
Separate bad deeds and actions from the person. If you are not ready to accept, you must part, it is impossible to radically change a person.
- Learn to trust and support your man, this creates a deep emotional connection.
Trust means that he can tell you everything without fear of being ridiculed or offended. Let him speak out if he had a hard day at work, discuss colleagues, complain about the boss. He wants you to be around. Building trust takes time. Don’t give up in one moment.
- Recognize his positive qualities (mind, strength, endurance, merit, etc.).
Emphasize. He will feel important and valued.
- Recognize that everyone has their own point of view and their own needs.
You can’t do that with two words, and it’s normal.
- Take care of him, his state of mind, be interested in work.
- Posvolya he me s druzyami and provoditie vremya bez tebby.
Don’t turn a man into a sissy.
- Ask him for advice, maintain his authority, especially in public.
- Praise your man, thank you, study.
What does he like, what are his life principles and views.
- Spend some time apart, you should have your own personal space.
- You should not become a piece of cotton wool that takes the shape of his body.
You are a person. Respect yourself, have self-respect.
- Start making joint plans out loud and discuss them.
- Offer to move in together, discuss this issue with him, listen to his position.
In order to apply these recommendations, mutual sympathy and attraction are needed.
What Not to Do?
- change and re-educate a partner;
- quickly turn relationships into serious ones;
- use his frankness against him;
- devalue a man and laugh at things that are significant to him;
- crush, arrange scenes;
- require an absolute merger;
- often and for a long time to be offended.
No, it is necessary to say that the part is, it is to that, that you choose it. Re-education is a thankless task. Yes, and useless. It’s not that bad, and it’s about 100 percent and not half. This is an illusion.
The stronger the re-education, the stronger the resistance. You didn’t come into this world to live up to anyone’s expectations, and he didn’t come to live up to them.
It is not worth it to very quickly translate an easy relationship into something serious, an unconscious resistance may arise. Never use his words against him. It destroys trust forever.
Never devalue a man and do not laugh at things that are important to him. You should not put pressure on a man, arrange quarrels and tantrums to transfer relations into a serious direction, just say that this is very important for you, like for most women.
If you don’t want to hear it and ask about “Do you want to know me?” Keep a light atmosphere, everything goes on as usual. Let the man be easy with you.
Not three, but on one of the 100 percent of the words. A man cannot be happy with love alone. He needs a job or business, personal space. It is impossible to live in constant merging. Women and men have different lifestyles.
For men – subject-instrumental, for women – expressive. You must have a common space and common affairs, but also a personal space. You are 2 different personalities, 2 different worlds, you are not one world.
And remember, if you meet in this life, it’s wonderful. If not, there’s nothing you can do. Very sorry. Man is not given love, but the ability to love.